| Subject: Letters to Samson - 36 |
Author:
Holly
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Date Posted: 07:52:01 02/26/12 Sun
In reply to:
Holly
's message, "Letters to Samson - 1" on 18:59:32 06/04/05 Sat
You know I go to the talking doctor. He helps me to work through the past, when I was too closed off to process my feelings. And he helps me to work through the present - in the present - by being present for it - so that I don't miss a moment with you being all vague and detached and not really part of what is going on around me.
I'm not good at getting help, so I tend to block whatever he has said as soon as I have gotten five steps from his door, but he suggested that I write down some of my beliefs for you, since I'm not particularly good at disclosing anything (part of why I'm not good at getting help). I think I've written to you about some of this before, so pardon any repetition, but here goes:
I believe that we are more than just our meat, that we are all part of the same universal energy field, and that we are all available to each other at all times through love. Most of the reasons I believe this are intensely subjective and could never function as "proof" for anyone else, but I have had experiences in which loved ones who have died have - I believe - spoken to me through third parties. It's possible that those people were just picking up my own memories and vibrations. It's possible that we act as energy stores for the love we feel for and receive from others during their lifetimes. But when the "message" comes through someone else, it is not possible that it's just wishful thinking or all in my head.
I know that I have written to you about my friend Bob. He is someone whose presence I often have felt over the years. I was thinking about him recently, because I made a new friend on the internet. Jamie's a mom. She has MS. And her specific challenges are surprisingly similar to the things lupus brings to me. She's a writer. So, I read what she writes.
The first time I read Jamie's blog post about her friend Vince, who seemed to be speaking to her from the great stream, it got me thinking about Bob. I'd sort of decided that my feelings about my loved ones who've died were just that: my feelings. Wishful thinking. But Jamie was describing something similar to what I'd felt, so, one day, alone in the car, I "spoke" to Bob and told him that if he was able to do it, I could really stand to hear from him. Soon thereafter, my brother sent me a link to a fb post on a group I don't belong to. Someone had posted a picture of Bob. One I had taken, as a matter of fact. So, I wrote back to my brother that I had just been "talking" to Bob and had asked to hear back if he could do it. My brother asked if I'd read what he had written in response to the picture, and I said no. My brother had told the story of meeting Bob - an encounter (and a thread post) that ended with the words, "Tell your sister I said 'Hi.'"
I don't know whether that means the spirits walk among us or whether it's the universe reacting to the errant beats of a broken heart or whether it's just a meaningless coincidence that happened to go my way in a moment that I needed it to do exactly that. But, to me, it was unmistakeable that I had connected with something - whether my brother or Bob or the stranger who posted his picture or all of the above - without there being a physical conversation. The love that I felt caused something to happen. Something hopeful and beautiful and warm.
I send that love to you every minute of every day, and I promise you that I will from now until the rest of forever.
I love you.
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