I kept opening the little white box that the lady at the counter gave me for the necklace I bought. Maybe it's weird, but I kept pretending that I was Tyler, and that I was opening his gift for the very first time. Like, wow...you know?
I wanted to see the look on his face. I wanted to see his amazing smile, and then have him give me a big kiss on the mouth for doing something cool for him. I think it looks cool. I don't know what I'm going to do if Tyler actually starts wearing it and stuff. Like, what if he wears when we go back to school in a couple of days? Are people going to ask him about it? Oh man, what will he say? It'll be cool looking around his neck. The shiny gold color will probably match his light blond hair and make him even more super sexy than he was before. Hehehe! Well, that's what I'm thinking, anyway.
Oh man, I can't wait for him to see it. I really really hope he likes it! I'll show Gramms when I get home and see what she thinks about it. I mean, she probably knows this stuff better than I do. Tyler's my first boyfriend ever...and the only reason that I've been able to get away with as much goofy stuff as I have been lately is because I'm his first boyfriend too. So he probably doesn't know any better yet. But he will learn eventually...and then I'm going to look like a total crumb in front of him. I need to step up and just...be as perfect for him as he is for me.
I know that Tyler can have his pick of any boy that he wants, and it's probably selfish of me to be taking someone else's spot in his life right now, but...
...I kind of want to keep him for a while. He's my Tyler. How could I not want him all to myself, you know?
I got off the bus and walked the rest of the way home, making sure to say hi to Gramms as I walked in through the front door. Mmmm, it smelled like she was making her yummy meat and cheese ravioli for dinner! She always makes it so good! I'm going to totally stuff myself tonight if that's the case. "Gramms? I got it!" I said, hurrying into the kitchen.
She looked over her shoulder at me and smiled. "Hold on a second, kiddo." She finished stirring the meat sauce in her frying pan, then she washed her hands in the sink and was drying them off with a towel as she walked over to me. I proudly brought out the little white box and handed it to her. She opened it, and the biggest smile spread out on her face. "Oh my...look at that. Very cute, Ariel."
"Yeah?" I asked. "Cool. I was hoping I made the right choice. Besides, I don't want to have to take it back, because...I don't think I'll be welcomed back to that store again any time soon."
She gave me a bit of a weird look at first, but I've had enough little 'accidents' for her to know why I don't get invited back to places of business most of the time. Instead, she said, "I think it's adorable. Tyler's going to love it. And it came from your heart. That makes it even more special."
"I'm gonna surprise him with it tomorrow. I'm gonna get kisses for this! I just know it! Hehehe!"
That caused her to laugh to herself, and she handed me the box back, giving me a tight hug around the shoulders. "You most certainly have inherited that classic Dalton charm. You're quite the little heartbreaker, aren't you?"
"No way! Hehehe, I'd never break Tyler Jordan's heart. I'd have to be crazy to do that." I said, feeling those agitated butterflies in my stomach again. Just being able to talk about Tyler to somebody in real life is so liberating. It enhances the experience by, like...a zillion.
Gramms grinned, and then she said, "You know...if you ever wanted to invite Tyler over for dinner and a movie or something...I could make him something special. It could be fun."
"Well, I dunno. How would we get rid of Mom and Dad?" I asked.
She seemed a little disappointed at first. "I was sort of thinking that maybe we wouldn't have to." She said. My smile faded a bit, and I looked down at the floor to avoid her eyes. "Ariel? Honey, I think Tyler is beautiful, and a true gentleman. Your parents would really like him. I already love that boy, and I've barely spent ten minutes in the same room with him."
"It's..." I started, feeling a bit embarrassed by having to even answer the question she was posing to me. "It's different, Gramms. I mess everything up when I start thinking too highly of myself. Can't I just...be with Tyler and not have to tell them about it?"
"Why? You don't have any reason to be ashamed of Tyler."
"I'm not ashamed, ok? Honest. I just...I don't know what they're gonna think about me if they knew that I was...you know..."
"Happy?" She said.
"That's not what I was gonna say." I pouted.
"It should've been." She replied. "Because, at the end of the day...that's the only thing that your mom and dad care about. And seeing you and Tyler together? I doubt they'd ever get an opportunity to see you any happier. Eventually, you're going to have to give them a chance to get to know him, Ariel. And...more importantly...a chance to know you."
It bugs me when she starts making sense about stuff that makes me feel weird. I just sort of shrugged my shoulders and told her, "Maybe one day. Ok? No promises, though..." I mumbled under my breath.
"Alright, alright...I'm not going to be a nasty bee sting about it. I just...I don't think you give your parents enough credit." She said, and I felt bad for making her feel that way about me. I just don't think I could handle having my mom and dad 'look' at me that way. I don't want them to think about what Tyler and I do when nobody else is around. not the kissing and stuff, but...the other stuff. Every time we got naughty with one another, I'd feel like my parents were, like...you know...watching. It'll make things weird. Thankfully, my Gramms didn't say anything else about it. She just turned around and went back to preparing dinner for the rest of us before my parents came home from work. "The food should be ready in about twenty minutes. I just want to get the ravioli to soften up a bit. Get washed up."
"M'kay. Thanks, Gramms..." I said softly. And i walked out of the kitchen, hoping that she didn't think I was being too silly about this. If it was up to me, I'd never tell anybody anything about me and Tyler. That's our secret. Why does everybody have to know every little thing about every single person they interact with all the time. Just leave us alone. Let other people worry about themselves for a change. It's none of their business. Even when it comes to my parents.
I was able to make it through dinner with Gramms and my parents without feeling too guilty or secretive and quiet at the table. I really wish that I didn't even have to think about stuff like this, but that's life, I guess. I just want to be with my Tyler. I don't need anything out of this life. Just his kiss, and his pretty smile...and some sex too! Hehehe! Yeah...lots more sex. It part.
It was about an hour or so later when Tyler actually called me up. And I can never pick up my phone on the first ring when I see his name on the display. Like...I get SUPER nervous, and I have to sit down on my bed and fix myself up and prepare to click the button thingy. There were a few times where I accidentally let his call go to voicemail because I waited too long. But I've gotten better at working up the courage to pick it up before then now. Besides, my voicemail is stupid. It's all like, "Hey, this...Ariel. Leave a message if you want to. Ok? Or...not." I should record a new message. I'm not really any good at that kind of thing.
Anyway, I took a deep breath, and tried to hold my wiggles together so my voice wouldn't be so shaky.
"Hey, Tyler..." I said, giggling right after for no reason. I don't know...he just makes me happy sometimes. Even before he says a single word to me.
"How are you, babe?" He said. Ahhhhhh! He's so cute!
"Hehehe! Ummm...ok, I guess."
"Cool." He said. "I just wanted to let you know that my mom wants me to help her carry a bunch of stuff to her office tomorrow morning before work. She's got some kind of big presentation to give to her clients, and just wants me to help her carry the stuff into the building and set up for it."
"Oh..." I said. "So...I mean...I shouldn't come over, then?" I asked.
"NO!" He said. "Hehehe! I mean, YES! You should definitely still come over tomorrow!" Oh my gosh! He sounded like he really wanted to see me again! Awww...COOL! I worry about being a pest sometimes. "I'm just saying that I'll be gone during the early part of the morning. And I don't know how long it's going to take. But my mom is leaving super early so she can set up and hopefully drive me back to the house once she's done and still get back to work in time to clock in for the day. I just wanted you to know. So...still come by. But if I'm not there when you get there, I'll be back as soon as possible. I promise! K?"
I could feel my face getting hot with a serious blush, and I gently bit my bottom lip as I said, "M'kay." And then I added, "I'm glad that i can still come over. I miss you again. Hehehe...sorry."
"I miss you too." He sighed, and I swooned from the sound of his voice alone. Tyler's really cute when he's being...ummm cute. Just cute. How else do I say it? Cute works, I guess. "I'll see you tomorrow. K?"
"Uh huh..." I grinned. "Ummm...Tyler? I, like...ummm...I love you, k?" Gah! It's so cool to say that out loud! Oh gosh...my heart is going to explode!
"Love you too, babe. Mwah! Can't wait to see you again."
"You too. Or, I mean...you either. Well...you know what I mean." I said.
"Hehehe, yeah. I know what you mean." He said. "G'night, Ariel."
"G'night, Tyler..." I said, and I waited for him to hang up first before dropping my phone to the bed and falling back to ride out the series of uncontrollable tingles rushing through my body at that very moment. Hehehe, my love for Tyler Jordan makes my tummy hurt. It really does. But in a good way. I swear.
The next morning, I woke up with even more energy than ever. I'm really going to miss Spring Break when it's over. How am I going to survive without being able to go over to Tyler's house and have tons of passionate boy sex? Just pushing a finger in myself isn't going to have the same effect after being so blissfully satisfied by my 'cuter than cute', real life, boyfriend. I'm going to go into a serious state of withdrawal, and then I'll be forced to just ditch school once a week to have Tyler do it to me some more. I can't imagine being able to breathe if I didn't get to at least tongue kiss him for a little while on a daily basis. Ugh! This is so crazy!
I rolled out of bed, but not before giving the stuffed bear that Tyler won for me at the Carnival a few days ago a smooch. I've actually made it a habit of mine to kiss it every night before I go to sleep, and every morning when I wake up. It's the only part of Tyler that I get to keep close to me at all times, you know? I'm glad that it's so soft. It kind of reminds me of the real thing.
I'm sure that my old teddy bear is jealous now...
I got myself all soapy and squeaky clean for my sweetie, and then I got my little white box with the necklace in it, and I opened it up to look at it one more time before leaving the house. I have to admit to being a little choked up as I saw the sparkle of the golden bear in the sunlight coming in through the window. I've never been so in love before. And I can't say that I've ever had any practice giving someone I care about an affectionate gift like this before. I mean...do I just sort of hand it to him? Like...like, 'here.' I'd feel like just tossing it to Tyler from a distance and running away before he had a chance to laugh at me for being such a sucker for him. What do I say? How do i say it? I hadn't really thought much about it yesterday, but now that the moment of truth was upon me, I felt a little wobbly in the legs about it. I can't just give Tyler a random box out of nowhere. I need to, like...make an event out of it. I should say something cute first. Or give him some kind of build up so when he opens it up and sees the necklace, he'll be extra happy and then he's sex me good afterwards! Hehehe!
He might be coming back from his mom's job soon. I should get going. I'll just take some paper and a pen with me and think about something cool and romantic to say on the way. I'll take notes. Maybe if I rehearse it a few times in my brain before I see him, I'll be able to make today really sweet without bungling it up. I don't trust myself to be completely spontaneous with Tyler. I'm so bonkers over him. I'll get all tongue tied and start blushing, and...oh God...I might even have one of my humiliating 'accidents' again. It'll ruin everything. I want to prevent that as best as I can, that's all.
Here I go. Wish me luck...
Getting to Tyler's house seemed to be much faster than normal. Maybe I was just preoccupied with my thoughts at the time. i wanted him to know how beautiful he was to me. And how much he makes me feel beautiful too. I never had anybody make me feel so cool before. But I also wanted him to know that I just...I love his heart, you know? His sense of humor, and his tender caress, and the way he thinks to put a pillow behind my head whenever we make love. I wanted him to know that I was totally devoted to him in every possible way, and that this necklace was my way of letting him know that I would never ever cause him a single moment of pain. I didn't want there to be any question that I was totally, head over heels, in love with everything that he is...and always would be.
But...how do you put that into words, you know? That's the hard part.
I finally walked up to his front door, and took another few seconds to steady my breathing and grip the small box in my hand even tighter as I tried to rush myself through making a presentation of my own. Geez, no wonder his mom needed help for her work job today. This is scary.
I felt myself cringe a little bit as I reached out to ring the doorbell. I hope I'm ready for this. Please please PLEASE don't let me screw this up! It's my first time giving my boyfriend a meaningful gift. This has to be perfect. I can do this...
I know I can.
I waited for a little bit, and didn't get an answer. So I rang the bell again. My heart was beating so hard and fast that it was kind of hard to breathe. But when another few seconds went by without him answering the door, I kind of figured that he hadn't made it back home yet. I looked at the time, and I suppose that I was still a bit early. But that's ok. It'll give me some more time to come up with something awesome to say to him when I finally give him my gift. I should probably be thankful for the extended brainstorming session. Ummm...I guess I can just sit here on his front step for a while. I've got my pen and paper with me...I'll jot some stuff down and see how it looks. Yeah...ok, cool. This is a good thing. By the time Tyler gets here, I'll be in the right frame of mind. Oh man, this is going to be so crazy! I can't believe that I'm even doing this! I hope he likes it.
I sat down on his step and crossed my legs so I could write my ideas down. Should I just start out by saying 'I love you'? Would that be cheesy? Oh wait...I can start out with...wait, let me write this down. "Tyler...ever since you came into my life, every day has been...soooo....like, soooo...ummm..." So what? I don't know how to follow that up with anything cool. Crap.
I scratched that sentence out with my pen and started over. Ok, so what if I said..."Tyler, you make me so happy! And I really wanted to do something to let you know that I...that I really....ummm..." Dangit! Why do I always draw a blank when it comes to the meaningful parts of what I want to say? Ugh! No, get rid of that! Ok...this time, I'll get it right for sure! Just need to clear my mind. Just be spontaneous. Let it rip. C'mon, I can do this.
Ummmm....let's see. This is it. This'll be the one! Watch!
"Hey, Ariel! S'up?" Came a voice from across the street. When I looked up, I saw Randy coming out of his house, wheeling this big ol' garbage can out to the edge of his driveway. It kind of caught me by surprise to see him there. I don't know why, it's just...he's another one of those boys that's just, like, unfathomably pretty. His hair was perfect. His face was perfect. How could I not have lingering feelings for the first big crush of my life? They kind of feel 'yucky' now, because I want them to go away. He's already happy with somebody else, and that hurt a lot when I found out about it...but it made room for me and Tyler to be together. So, in a way, I'm sort of glad that things went the way they did. It was more fortune than misfortune, I suppose.
I did manage to steal a glance at Randy's butt as he checked his mailbox though. Hehehe! Sorry. Can't help it. He's still hot.
I waved at him to say hello, thinking that it would be the end of it. But then he started to cross the street, and I felt my breath get caught up in the back of my throat until it almost choked me! GAH!!! Stand up! Straighten yourself out, for crying out loud!
All this time, and Randy still has the ability to toss my emotions into a blender of chaos and confusion.
I smoothed out my shirt and my hair, preparing to engage him in a way that would come off as somewhat 'normal'. "Hi, Randy..." I said. "You don't look sick anymore. That's good."
"Thanks to your Gramms, I feel a lot better. So thanks for that. It was exactly what I needed." Oh wow! I made Randy feel good! I don't know what to say. It's pretty freaky though. I like it.
"Hehehe...cool." I said, trying to get the guts to look him in the eye. Just for a few seconds at a time though. My heart can't handle much more than that.
I found myself at a loss for words, but Randy was always so friendly to me. He makes silences comfortable when they happen. "So, what's going on? Is Tyler not home today?"
"Oh...ummm, not now, I guess. I mean, he told me that he was doing something early today, but he'd be back soon. I guess I'm just sorta early." I said. Then I noticed that I was holding the piece of paper that I was taking notes on in my hand where he could see it. Yikes! I mean, I know that I can be a bit of a sissy when it comes to Tyler, and when it's just the two of us, I don't mind so much. Tyler has a way of making me feel good about being mushy around him. But it can be a little embarrassing when other people get involved. So I try to tone it down a bit. I'll just tuck that in my back pocket, and I hope that Randy doesn't notice what I was doing. I don't want to have to explain me writing my thoughts down to talk to Tyler like a normal human being. Something that I'm sure comes easy to most people.
"Well, I'm not doing anything right now. You wanna hang out over at my house for a bit until Tyler comes home?"
Wait...WHAT??? Randy's house? "Can I do that?" Except for giving him my Gramm's soup, I haven't been over to his house in ages. Not since I told him...well, you know...what I told him. So embarrassing! But, whatever. It's ok, I guess. So much has happened since then.
He told me that I could totally just come over to his house and hang out. How crazy is that! He even offered me some cold root beer out of his fridge. And it's hard for me to say no to Randy, no matter what. Is that a bad thing? I mean...what would Tyler think if he caught me walking over there to my previous crush's house? Should I say no? Awww, let's be honest, I can't say no! It's Randy! I'd jump in the river off of a high bridge if he asked me to. "O-O-Ok...I think that would be...rad." So I followed him back to his front door, and I peeked at his butt again. Hehehe! Sorry. He has a really cute booty. It's not cheating to stare at another boy's booty every now and then. It's not like I reached out to grab a handful or anything. Randy opened the door and I looked around to see if maybe Tyler was coming back yet or not. I don't know why I got the jitters so bad, but my hands started shaking as Randy turned around to look at me, standing in his doorway. I don't know...I was a little scared, I guess. "Is your mom home?" I asked.
"Nah, she went to work already." He said. Oh, wowzers! Alone in a house with Randy? Mymind went wild with the possibilities. I suppose this is what temptation feels like. "You can come in, ya know?" He grinned.
"Uh huh. I'm...yeah...ok. Here I come." I told him, and I came inside. He shut the door behind me, and I could feel my blushing as I thought back to the many fantasies I used to have about this very moment. One of my favorites, when I was stroking myself at night...was the idea of me spreading Randy's legs, and being able to suck him deep into my mouth right there on his living room couch. I wanted to suck him so HARD! And he'd moan my name, and hump himself up into my warm suction, my lips pleasing him until he began to leak his sweet fluids over the surface of my tongue. And then he'd run his fingers through my hair until he was forced to warn me that he was ready to cum in my mouth. Ohhhh, God...it was one of my hottest fantasies ever! Just thinking about it made me hard, while he was standing there looking right at me. Dangit! Get some control over yourself, Ariel! Don't do something stupid! "Sorry..." I said.
"Huh? Nothin'." I giggled, looking away from him and trying to hide my semi hard erection from him. I shouldn't be entertaining these thoughts. I'm better than this. I just told him, "I've got some weird stuff in my head today, that's all. It's not you, Randy."
"Alright. If you say so. Hehehe! Root beer?"
"Yes please." He got me a glass and put some ice in it. Root beer is my favorite. But when he gave it to me, I had to put Tyler's necklace box thingy on the counter next to me. I saw Randy glancing over at it, and I said, "Oh...that's for Tyler."
"Really now?" He smiled. Wow...he can be so cute sometimes.
But I've got a boyfriend now. The perfect boyfriend. I should remind him of that, in case he thought of, like...trying to seduce me or something. He's too late! "I dunno...I was feeling sorta smooshy, so...I thought I might go out and get him something. Just to let him know that I really like being his...boyfriend." It still makes me infinitely happy to be able to say that aloud. But being able to turn Randy down was, like...super extra! I have a boyfriend! A real life boyfriend. I almost wanted to rub his nose in it, to be honest. Hehehe, it's naughty, but it felt good to let him know that I had a 'Ryan' of my very own to keep me warm at night.
"Oh wow! Look at YOU, being all sweet and romantic. You're the man, Ariel." Damn straight! Randy thinks I'm the man! Sweet!
"Hehehe! Unh unh! I just...I wanted to let him know what was in my heart. Do you think he'll like it?"
"Of course. Tyler will love it. It's his favorite thing in the world." He said.
"Is it really???" You mean I got it right this time?.
"Hehehe, no. I'm kidding, Ariel. I have no idea what's in the box. You haven't shown it to me yet."
"Oh! Oh yeah! Silly!" I'm so dumb! I gave him the best, and watched him open it up to see what his reaction would be. Maybe he can give me an idea of what to expect. "I bought this for him at the mall yesterday. He doesn't know about it yet. I wanted it to be a surprise. It kinda looks like the bear he won for me at the carnival, so I thought it would be pretty cool. Right?"
"Nice! That's really cute, dude. Is that real gold?" Randy told me. Omigod, so he thinks it's cute! That's a good thing, right? Tyler might like it too.
"Ummm, I dunno. It's, like...'gold-ISH', I guess. But it was the one I wanted to get the most." I said. "I really just...I really like him a lot, Randy." I tried to find a way to say my feelings out loud, but it wasn't easy. Tyler's appeal kind of transcends your typical conversation. All I could say was, "When he kisses me...it's like...I've never felt so real. He makes loving him so easy sometimes."
"I know the feeling." He said. "I really think he's gonna melt when he sees this."
"I hope so. I like it when I do something to make him happy. It's, like, the coolest feeling ever." But, despite all of the highly triggered feelings of infatuation that were rushing through me at that very moment, I couldn't help but to think about the few times when Tyler looked like something was bugging him. Especially after the carnival. I mean, I obsess over Tyler Jordan enough to know when something is slightly 'off' about his behavior. And I probably shouldn't pry too far into his personal business, but...it bothers me to wonder whether it's me that's making him feel that way or not. "Randy...can I ask you something?"
"Sure. What is it?"
"Tyler doesn't, like...I mean, does he...?" I don't want to sound too nosy or needy. But I didn't like feeling like I was lacking in the boyfriend department. "Sometimes...he seems a little sad." He asked me what I meant, and I said, "I don't know. Just...not all the way happy. He would tell me if I did something goofy to mess things up, wouldn't he?" Randy assured me that Tyler was totally happy with me and that I didn't have anything to worry about, but...Randy would say something like that. Just to keep from hurting my feelings. Sometimes he's just too good to be true, so I don't know whether he's telling me the truth or not.
I took another gulp of my cold root beer...and that's when Randy smiled and said, "He talks about you, ya know?" I immediately started to cough and sputter and lose all the wind in my lungs as the prospect of Tyler actually mentioning my name to other people flooded my thoughts. I mean...seriously? What the FUCK???
Randy asked me if I was ok, but I just tried to catch my breath and demanded, "Never mind all that. Go back to what you said. Tyler talks about me? Really? Like...to you and Ryan?" oh no! What did Tyler tell them? Does Randy know that we have sex??? Like...a LOT of sex? Omigod! What did Tyler say? Was it good stuff? Was it bad stuff? Am I allowed to ask? Do I even want to know?
"Of course Tyler talks about you! Why wouldn't he? He loves you."
Dang! "Awwww...see? How am I supposed to compete with that?"
"Compete with what? Hehehe, dude...you're FINE! You and Tyler are both fine. Don't think too much and start worrying about stuff that isn't even there. It'll only drive you crazy in the long run. Trust me on this. I'm, like...the undisputed king of thinking too much." He said.
"I try. Really, I do. I just...I need to make him feel the way he makes me feel. And he makes me feel soooo good that...I dunno...I feel like I should be doing more." Tyler makes me feel so slippery inside sometimes! He really does think about me when I'm not around. He even talks about me. Wow! I wish I was as cool as he was. "I guess that sounds pretty weird, huh?" I said.
Randy gave me the coolest smile. "Doesn't sound weird at all." And he surprised me when he said, "C'mon, let's hang out in my room for a while and talk. K? Strictly off the record. Promise."
In his room? Like...like his bedroom? Whoah! "Really?" I asked him. And before I even had a chance to think about it, I was like, "M'kay..."
I'm kind of in a trance here. Sorry. I'll behave myself. Promise.
Come home SOON, Tyler! I need your love right now to keep me strong!
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