It was just this incredibly surreal experience...sitting on Randy's bed. I mean, there's just this silent, extremely intimate, vibration that runs through me, knowing that this is where he sleeps. And relaxes. And maybe, like...does...'stuff'. Not just with Ryan, but to himself too. Like...right here! How awesome is that?
I tried to make it look casual, but I leaned back a little bit and sort of put my hand on the spot where I thought he penis might be whenever he went to sleep. I know it's silly, but I kind of let my finger grip the mattress and I imagined what it must be like to, like...'hold' him. You know?
Ok! Ok! I'm not cheating! It was just a moment of weakness. I'll let it go in a minute or two. I just...I spent so much time having naughty thoughts about curling myself up next to Randy's naked body for so long, that it's kind of hard to not take advantage of an opportunity to be alone with him like this. That's all.
Omigod...his sheets are still warm. I think clutching on to them with my hand was making me hard, and I had to sit back up and cross my legs in this really awkward way to keep him from seeing it.
I sipped some more of my cold root beer, and Randy smiled at me. "Wh-what'd I do...?" I asked.
"Hehehe, nothing. You just look...like you're enjoying your Spring Break, that's all." He said.
"Oh. Yeah, hehehe, I guess I am."
He was quiet for a moment, and then he says, "Soooo...I take it that Tyler is keeping you 'happy' then?" He raised an eyebrow, and I started to blush.
"Uh huh..." I nodded. "I was worried for a long time, but I think it's kinda cool to relax a little bit now. I think I got better about...talking and stuff."
"It takes a while. I get it." Randy said. "He's your first boyfriend. It takes some getting used to."
I don't know what made me say it...maybe it was this little bit of pressure in my stomach that just pushed this naughty little tingle up to the surface, and I said, "Yeah...Tyler's my first...everything." Randy looked a little surprised, and I tried to keep from giggling but it slipped out as I looked away from him. I put my hand over my mouth to keep it inside, but I know he heard me anyway. "Hehehe, I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry! I'm just...I don't know what to say!"
"I don't usually...I mean...I shouldn't." I said. He kind poked me in the side with his finger, making me laugh, trying to get me to say more. "Unh unh! It's secret!"
"Alright. If you don't wanna tell me..."
"We do it!" I said. The outburst even surprised me a tiny bit, but it felt good to get it out. "We do it a LOT! Like...all the time. Every day. And sometimes we do it a bunch of times in the same day. And it's AWESOME!" I said, now letting it all spill out at random. Randy laid back on the bed and held his stomach as he laughed out loud. And I know that I was being silly, but it felt good. It made me laugh too. Then I thought about Tyler again, and I started to wiggle inside a little bit. Between those mushy thoughts and hearing Randy's laugh, my emotions were getting a little overwhelmed from the stimulation. "Hehehe...sorry. That's prolly more than you want to hear about."
Randy touched my arm and said, "No way, you can't stop there. Tell me more."
"Really? I mean...is it ok for me to talk about this?" I asked.
"Of course it is. Ariel, dude...you sounded like you've been waiting a long time to get that off of your chest."
"Yeah. I guess I have." I giggled. "I never really get to...you know...talk about him. Like ever. Well, I mean, I told my Gramms about him, but that kinda talk comes with...'restrictions', you know?"
"Believe me, I know." He said. "Ok, so...you and Tyler are having fun, then?"
I took a deep breath, feeling wiggly again as I stared up at the ceiling to avoid looking into his eyes. I could feel myself smiling. "Omigod, Randy...Tyler is soooooo good at sex! He's like the best at boy sex ever! And he's really nice when we do it too. Like, he gives me pillows...and sexy kisses...and he always makes sure that I'm ok and that nothing hurts. And he looks me in the eyes, and it feels like my heart is getting filled up with EXPLOSIONS and it's hard to breathe." I started to wiggle even more now, and suddenly, Randy's bed felt really uncomfortable to me. I didn't have enough room to move around. "Is it ok if I sit on the floor?" He gave me a weird look at first, but I didn't want to be scooting my booty all over his bed like this. Talking about my angel makes me really restless sometimes.
I slid down to sit on his carpet and spread my legs out a bit. There...that's better.
Now that the floodgates were open, I wanted to tell him everything. Like, every little naughty detail. The kind of things that I can only think to myself in my head. "I think I like it when I'm on my back the best. I really like to kiss him when he's doing it. Sometimes he can go for a long time too, like...on those days when we have lots of sex, and it's the second or third time. My legs get a little numb and achy, but it feels too good for me to stop. But it feels like he goes even deeper when we're like that. And his blond hair sort of sweeps over my face, and he kisses me again, and then he hits my birthday spot and I go all weak in the middle..."
"Hits your what?" Randy asked. Oops! Ummm...maybe he'll just sort of ignore that part.
"I'm so in LOVE, Randy! He drives me absolutely bonkers every second of every day! And I have no idea what I'm going to do when we have to go back to school in a couple of days. I don't wanna go to stupid ol' school! I wanna lay in bed with Tyler all day and kiss! Hehehe!" Oh wow, I can't believe that I'm actually alone in a bedroom, talking to Randy Stephens about sex stuff! "I think I might be turning into a sex addict."
Randy laughed out loud again. Hehehe! He's so cute when he laughs like that. "Don't worry, Ariel. I'm pretty sure you're not a sex addict. A horny teenage boy with a super hot blond boyfriend, maybe...but not a sex addict."
"Hmmmm, I don't know. It's pretty much the only thing I think about now." I said. "It's his own fault for being so darn good at it. Like...you know, sometimes he leans over to...you know..." Is there a decent way to say it? I don't know. "...Like he does blowjob stuff? And it's like...he does this super wild thing with his tongue that almost makes me want to pass out before he even finishes."
"Hehehe, oh yeah. I remember." He said.
"Remember what?" I asked.
Randy sort of...got quiet for a second. And then he said, "Nothing. Look, the important thing is that you two are having fun being together right? You love him, and he loves you back. It's the greatest feeling in the world, isn't it?"
"Yeah..." I sighed to myself. "I've never felt like this before. He does so much to just...enhance my spirit, you know? Like, my soul actually feels all weightless and floaty whenever I think about him. And he does so many nice things for me. I wanted to something nice for him too. That's why I bought him the necklace. I just felt like...ugh...I needed him to see that I was just as gooey over him as he was over me. I never know if anything I do is enough, though. I don't ever want him to feel underappreciated. I don't want to drop the ball on this." Even on the floor, I found myself wiggling more than usual. It's just hard for my body to contain all of these pressurized emotions at once. Sometimes I want to laugh, and sometimes I want to cry, and sometimes I just want to SCREAM over not being able to decipher which is the appropriate response to being so fulfilled, so overjoyed, and so infinitely satisfied with every aspect of my life, at that moment. It's always been hard to really grasp the concept before now...but I think that trying to put it into words kind of helps. If only just a little bit.
I got a little nervous as I saw Randy sliding down to the carpet next to me, leaning back up against the bed beside me. I mean...like...it is still Randy Stephens that we're talking about here. Even with a boyfriend, he's still pretty to look at. He said, "You know, when Ryan and I first got together, we were exactly the same way. It seemed like every day was a new challenge. It was all sex and giggles and drama and paranoia and jealousy...just, madness in its purest form." Then he looked over at me and added, "But, after a while...you kinda learn to mellow out a little bit. You get some practice with being in a relationship, make a few mistakes, have a few arguments here and there...and one day you wake up and you realize that what you have together means more than all of the outside noise that's constantly trying to force its way between you. You don't need gifts, or big declarations of love, or an entire day's worth of 'doing it', hehehe! You just need each other. Trust me, you won't have to work to express how you feel on one special occasion or another. The love will express itself...every day. You just learn to appreciate it. There's nothing more comfortable, or more soothing, than knowing that you are loved. And Tyler's got one of the biggest hearts of anyone I know. So you're in good hands, dude. Believe it."
Feeling a little weird about asking, I said, "So...you had doubts about, like...giving Ryan enough to let him know you like him?"
"Oh God, all the time." He said. Which made me feel a little bit better about being so obsessive over Tyler. "And not just in the beginning. I still worry from time to time."
Cringing a bit, I said, "Because of that Sean guy?"
He frowned up a little bit, but said, "Well, that's a whole other issue that I'm trying to deal with, little by little. I mean, I don't own Ryan, and I can't just stop him from having friends, whether I like them or not. But...Ryan says that I should trust him, so I just...I make a real effort to try."
I frowned up, even though I tried not to...and I just told him what was on my mind. "That Sean guy is a jerk hole." Which made him smile.
"I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks so." He said. "The whole point is, like...you have to find a way to trust one another. Even when it's hard to do so. We're all just figuring this stuff out for the first time, and through the good times and the bad...I think Ryan and I have done pretty good for a couple of 'know nothing' teenagers. Hehehe!"
"Yeah." I said. "I think me and Tyler are doing pretty good too." I felt kind of proud to say that to him. It's like...wow. Maybe I was all amped up and fussing over nothing. I get to have a total hottie like Tyler Jordan say that he loves me...truly loves me...and I have the audacity to doubt it? Maybe I'm being a jerk hole too. "Do you think the necklace thing is a bit too much?" I asked.
"No! No way! Tyler's gonna totally melt when he sees it. Trust me. It'll be, like...this really romantic gesture. He's gonna get such a sugar rush over it that I'm sure he's gonna 'do it' to you a lot more. Hehehe!" I blushed so hard when he said that, but I hope he's right. I wouldn't complain if Tyler wanted to do more stuff with me. Omigosh, I'd get down on my knees and beg for it, actually. Then he's like, "You know...there was this one time...when Ryan, literally, climbed up that tree outside, and he snuk in through my bedroom window while I was sleeping. Hehehe!"
My eyes opened wide. "What???" I lowered my voice and whispered, "He really did that???"
"Yep! Right over there. Same window. Same tree." He said. Oh wow! "Ryan has this thing where he says that he can't sleep when he thinks I'm mad at him. So he escaped from his house at, like, three or four O'clock in the friggin' morning, dressed like some kind of a NINJA ASSASSIN, hahaha...and he came creeping into my bedroom for us to ummmm..." He paused for a second, and then he said, "...To 'make up'." And he giggled at me with a wink.
I don't know why, but I thought that was like the hottest, naughtiest, most rad thing that I had ever heard before. I wish I had a tree outside my window so Tyler could sneak in and do stuff to me in the middle of the night. Then again, I probably make too much noise to get away with it. It's probably better that we find a place to be alone.
"Did your mom ever find out?" I asked.
"No. Thank God. I'm actually pretty surprised, to be honest. Ryan and I did a lot of reckless stuff since we first fell in love. Looking back on it, I can't believe that we got away with as much as we did. Some of our antics were...sitcom level wild. But I don't regret a single thing about the moments we shared. I can't imagine being more in love."
"That's cool." I said. I mean, there's still this really faint ache at the bottom of my heart whenever I see Randy get all dreamy eyed and wistful over another boy...but I totally get it, now that I have a beautiful angel of my own to kiss and drool over whenever I want to. Hehehe! That's when I asked him, "So...you guys are still a secret, then?"
Ryan thought about it for a second, and he says, "Well, Ryan's dad knows about us. And he seems pretty cool about it so far. I even went over to Ryan's house to have dinner last night."
Another shocked expression crossed my face. "With his daddy there? Whoah!"
"Yeah. It was a bit nerve-wracking at first, but I think I built it up to be a whole lot worse in my mind than it actually was. I left there feeling like...I had taken a positive step forward in my life, you know? It was almost like I could get used to having people know about us, and we could just be together without all the secrets and the cover ups and the whispers. It felt kinda good."
Peeking over at him, brushing some of my hair out of my eyes so I could clearly see his reaction, I nervously told him, "My Gramms thinks I should tell my mom and dad. You know...about Tyler and me."
"And...you're feeling a little hesitant about doing that, I take it."
"Yeah..." I don't know...I felt ashamed to admit that. Tyler is so incredible. He's like...purple jam on toast to me! But it was hard for me to even think about admitting that to my parents. "I love Tyler, Randy. I really do. I just don't see why everybody has to get all involved all the time. I like it better when it's just us. I guess that doesn't make a whole lot of sense..."
"No, I get it. I feel the same way." He said. "It's like you finally found a way to be happy and comfortable in your life...and then there's all of this pressure put on you to do something that could disrupt everything and cause problems in a situation that you're perfectly satisfied with. It's like...WHY? We found what we were looking for. Why does it have to be their business how things progress from here on out."
"So true." I said. Wow...it was so cool to be able to talk like this to somebody else. "I don't want to hide Tyler from everybody. I just...I don't want anybody else to make me feel bad for loving who I want to love. Not that my parents are all that bad about that kind of stuff, but...my dad keeps telling me that I'm gonna meet some girl, and my mom says that I'll stop being so clumsy someday and find somebody special...but I don't want any of that stuff. I already KNOW what I want. And Tyler is prolly one of the best 'accidents' that I've ever fallen into by mistake." I said, sighing. "I dunno...maybe I should tell them. I don't much like secrets. They make me feel all sour inside."
Randy took a good long look at me, and after thinking about it, he said, "Yeah. They make me feel sour inside too sometimes." Then the room kind of fell silent for a few seconds. I wasn't sure what to say at first, but he saved me by saying, "You know...I'm really glad you came over to spend some time with me today. I think you just cleared something up for me. Something that I've been thinking about for a long time now."
"Did I? Whoah...ok. Hehehe!" I said. Then he looked at my empty cup and asked, "You want some more root beer?"
"Oh. Ummm...no thank you. It was great but..."
"But you wanna go check to see if Tyler came home yet?" He asked.
I nodded shyly. "Uh huh. But it was cool hanging out for a while though." I said.
"Maybe, one day, we'll make a habit out of it." He smiled, and we both stood up on our feet again. I'm glad that most of my boner went down. I think I was only, maybe, thirty percent hard...but it was enough to hide it from the first and biggest crush that I've ever had in my life before Tyler came along. "Thanks, Ariel."
Feeling a little more wiggly than I was a moment ago, I asked, "For what?"
"For being you. And for giving me the courage to do what I know I need to do." Randy said, and I got a little swept up in the moment, stepping forward to hug him around the waist.
"Thanks, Randy. I think I know what I need to do too." I said, looking up into his eyes and smiling.
"Ummm...you'r not gonna KISS me again, are you?" He giggled.
"What??? NO!" I giggled in response. "Omigosh, Randy...that was, like, forever ago! How do you even remember that?"
"Oh, I remember." He said, seeing me turn super red in the face. "We ALL remember!"
"Well, I have, like...a boyfriend now. So...no more kisses for you." I said, but...secretly...I would have given Randy all the kisses he wanted as long as he didn't tell nobody. Oh man, I'm so screwed up.
"Understood. Go. Have fun with your prince charming today. I'll call you later, k?"
"M'kay..." I said, and he walked me down to the front door. I turned around to say, "See ya soon, Randy."
"See you too. Take care."
And with that, I walked out of his house and started to cross the street to see if maybe Tyler had finally come home from his mom's advertisement thingy. Still holding the box with his necklace in it, I was trembling in anticipation for the moment when he opened it up and let me see how surprised he was. I hope he likes it. I'll keep my fingers crossed.
Randy has a way of making me feel like I can do almost anything. Let's hope I get it right on the first try.
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