| Subject: Re: I want to die now~~ |
Author:
Gray
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Date Posted: 14:08:47 09/09/04 Thu
In reply to:
pat
's message, "Re: I want to die now~~" on 07:42:47 02/04/04 Wed
I just typed in "I want to die" on the computer and this site came up. So i started reading, i read all of the entries. I think my situation is different than all of yours. I have had a mixed life of ups and downs. I had an extremely fucked up child hood and family, however i had amazing friends that became my family, and i protected them as such. I would die for anyone of them, they are my true family. Unfortunatly that was not the hand of cards i was delt. Val died just over a year ago, in a car crash, speeding to come watch my soccer game. I can't even say her name without breaking down...i thought it would get easier with time, but it only gets harder. She was 20 years old and "gorgious", giving, caring, she was pre med in college, a athlete, you name it she was the purity that we all strive for. Since her deth i just slide further into alcohalism, and unlike many of you i have never tried to cut my wrist. ALso unlike many of you i do however have the means of ending my life there are many nights i lie on my bed with pictures of her and drowning my sorrows in booze press the cold barrel of my loaded 45 to my temple and flirt with the trigger. Being an Athiest makes it that much harder, i try so hard to believe in Heaven for her sake and mine, but i just don't buy it. I can't wait 60 years to find out. I just miss her so god damn much........Axl Rose you have stayed my hand so many times i wish i could thank you in person, "and never mind the darkness we still can find a way, cause nothing lasts for ever, even cold november rain."
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