Re-Balancing...a Journal entry -- Welcome to the II Chatboard

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Subject: Re-Balancing...a Journal entry

Author:
Dawn

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Date Posted: 03:22:48 03/01/05 Tue

I lay naked on the table, a sheet between us. She begins at my feet with a gentle touch and shaking. A sensual dance ensues moving up my body, caressing my legs, thighs, breasts, moving, breathing, oscillating, building, embracing, holding, so present... She spends extra time on the return to my knees -- the portal between one set of viewpoints and their opposition. The portal opens, a path blazing as the views & energy converges in my thighs and pussy. Passionate play and dance with the divine brings tears, rolling softly out the corners of my eyes like a china doll.

Saddness...at the longing, the loneliness, the unfathomable depth of my disconnection... Could i ever be filled...by anything other than God...in the flesh? Relief in feeling the safety to be openly communing with the Eternal. Gratitude in being seen...a witness...the observer... Joy in experiencing re-connection in community.

She gently holds me, embracing, loving me in my vulnerability and weakness, smallness, neediness. She doesn't shy away -- she loves me more. Almost imperceptibly, for much of the session a timeless language speaks through me -- often my greatest comfort and source of strength...yet silently I keep watch fearing eyes and ears of misunderstanding and judgement. "Keep it hidden, keep it safe" -- as if I have some dark secret ring to bury with me in the fires of Mt. Illumination -- as if no other human can handle the truth of me, or them, or Us.

It appears safe to open the keep -- just a little -- carrying a fresh breeze to the dank, stale air. Thank you...thank you...I speak the truth...I want to share it...God in me help me to do it when it is time... "there is no time in God" right...why am I so afraid? I don't even think it's about being strung up on a cross or locked up in a ward...that's the surface of it. Failure? Or wild success? And why do I think people can't handle the truth? How arrogant am i to think there are so few that can hear? The truth has been spoken since the dawning of time...over...and over...and over again. I'm just the messenger, speaking that same truth. And so are they...can i hear it? Someone please unstop my ears and uncover my eyes...the forgetting brings my death...and so does the remembering thank god...

She burrows her face into my stomach, kissing, licking the wounds of my buried suffering, breathing life into the embers of my being. Our fingers lock and I Am One. Her breath on my neck and in my ear, the red current of life carries me from the darkness of the cave. The caress of my clit as she gently touches my heart -- pitter-patter like raindrops on the windowpane separating me from my wholeness. It's clear...the grand illusion. Where's the chair to break the glass? The room is empty... There is no glass -- the bird is held or freed by her perceptions.

She sees and feels my hunger, and meets me there -- a companion amidst the emptiness and vast enormity of it all. Many run from it -- she will not. Our paths have converged in the great desert; an oasis blooms in our union, friend. She vows to meet me again and again if I but knock. The lover, the priestess, the sister, dear friend of many ages, the One playfully winking, embracing humanity through the senses and love of the WHOLE human experience -- through every range of being and state of consciousness.

Blessed Am I. Blessed are the We, which is ONE...

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Replies:

Subject	Author	Date
this reminded me of this	Laura	01:39:31 03/04/05 Fri