Never give up, sometimes give in...or...and... -- Welcome to the II Chatboard

[ Show ]

Support VoyForums

[ Shrink ]

VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

[ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, [2], 3, 4 ]

Subject: Never give up, sometimes give in...or...and...

Author:
Dawn

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 22:37:11 01/29/05 Sat
In reply to: Robert 's message, "The only way to lose is to..." on 16:52:38 01/28/05 Fri

As I sit and play with my friends this morning, singing "Frosty the Georgia" with little 13 month-old Olivier,I am reminded to go with the flow. There is nothing like a little bundle of energy to keep one in the present moment, and nothing like a freezing rain storm complete with power outages and a (partially) cancelled seminar (after a long flight!) to keep one in check!

Well, I have never been to the South -- very interesting! Big plantation-like houses with lots of trees everywhere... I found at moments today wondering, "Why again did I leave SF for a vacation/seminar"(question mark --sorry, French computer!) I am treasuring these moments on the internet responding to this post (thank you Robert...), and have found reserves every time I think of the beautiful community and my new family/friends back home.

R and I had a conversation in which we talked about community, and the other communities I am involved with. One is a Spiritual community which I intentionally live near and have been part of for 4+ years. Another, as he observed, could be related to my 'professional' life, though for me is my chosen family who happen to live spread out all over the globe like a beautiful web. I will be staying with two of them for the next two nights --can't wait! He said with the 'aha!' look..."I see what you're doing." "This is your physical community." And more...yes, so it appears I have the spiritual, the connected/global connection, and now the physical -- sensual, in-the-flesh and at-home community to laugh with, play in, and experience all the ranges of emotions and depths with. I have found strength and sensations upwelling while here, just by the mere thought of some of you. All of you, actually, that I've met (and maybe even those I haven't).

Indeed...the last day and a half before I left was truly lovely...gratitude for my connections with N and R, finding (I think!) my new office space, receiving a call from someone looking to contribute to a Network practice(YES! w/o having done any advertising!), beautiful moments in the InGroup session, a gloriously intimate night (let's do it again, my friend...) , having coffee in the morning with R and finding new ways of meeting, the perfection of not having my car in the morning or the things in it -- even my glasses! Feeling taken care of, dropped off at the airport, swimming in sensation riding me through the flight and across the country to a new land.

Sometimes I resist. Sometimes being with the friends I'm with now I feel like the inflexible and fearful one...the one less free and more willing to jump through the hoops when the carrot is dangling in front of me (in this case, a licensed D.C. so I can do what I love legally). How many nights I cried, I can't even count. Only 6 months into the nearly 4 year program, I seriously doubted whether I could even complete it. I was nearly ready to give up half way through too. The "it" is really irrelevant. Is the short-term pain worth the long-term pleasure(Q-mark) Is it better to shoot the stars and at least hit the moon(q.m.) Is it ever satisfying to "give up"(q.m.) What about "giving in"(q.m.) Is it all a matter of perception, as my friend Felix and I talked about today(q.m.) Boy, I wish I knew where the "question mark" key was on French computers. See what I mean(q.m.)

I am so grateful I didn't give-up before I was licensed. The process was grueling and sometimes unnatural, and yet it made me more plyable and flexible and forced me to my knees so many times that I HAD to give in, again and again. With the arena I play in, and with changes in health care and the wellness industry, it could be that someday I will even let my license go -- even after the 150K of loans to get it. That would be giving in, if it felt right to do, and I could still play. What brings more freedom(q.m.) How can I best contribute, and what is my role to play(q.m.)

I guess, in this life I have learned that at times, it takes a lot of pressure to make diamonds really sparkle...

Thank God for the diamonds -- and all the carrots...

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]