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Subject: On this Question of Balance

Author:
DJ

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Date Posted: 22:48:29 02/16/05 Wed
In reply to: Nicole 's message, "Thoughts that could get me in big trouble with the independent thinkers of the world" on 15:30:15 02/15/05 Tue

Well Dave and Nicole, what can I say? Judging by the posts, you have certainly started something. I have gone through this debate so many times, I don't care to remember anymore.

I think that the perceived dichotomy between independent thinkers and people living in complete emotional connection may be a bit of a red herring. The idea of living in this type of a community, with people engaged in certain practices to achieve a greater awarness and intimacy, is, at least in its nascent stage, a concept. A concept created by independent thinkers who broke with traditional paradigms and set themselves apart. But it wasn't a purely intellectual exercise. There was obviously an emotional need that provoked its creation. Something was missing that was sought.

Even within this concept, independent thinkers have crafted their own particular interpretation. The basic material is taught by several groups with a different emphasis and nuance, and often expanded upon. This would not happen if everyone who was inclined to expose themselves to these practices had committed a blind act of unquestioning faith.

We are all individuals. Individuality means that while we share basic needs and characteristics, we are also unique in our personality traits and experiences. Any concept we receive or emotion we experience passes through the filter of our unique traits and experiences. If we all accepted everthing we encountered exactly the same, the result would be numbing rather than exhilirating. It is precisely our differences that make it interesting. So we all seek our proper balance.

My natural inclination is to be rational, critical and conceptual. I tend to think that my predominant traits put me in the minority in this community. That is OK. That is what makes it interesting.

I would rather dip my toes in the water than jump right in. I have a visceral reluctance to commit to blind belief. I have seen where that often leads to. I have also noticed that many of those who jump right in tend to wax hot and wane cold very quickly. A little skepticism and toe dipping may enhance longevity.

The balance I sought was to increase my capacity for intimacy and sensuality. As much as I enjoyed the conceptual, that was lacking. So I tried something that scared me. I thought that would be a way to grow. Not to obliterate my capacity to reason, but to compliment and enhance it. I also had the desire to have an adventure. I am at times surprised that I have come this far.

And I have slowly weaved a web of connection with many people. It is not the same with everyone, but that is only natural. I certainly cannot say that I now live on a level where I am totally open and in the moment with everyone. But I am much more open than I was before. That ain't bad.

And I have grown sensually. After a very recent date, my partner lay on the floor with her legs curled over mine sharing her experience and I shared mine with her. There was something very sweet, intimate and trusting in the moment. I found myself feeling very protective of this beautiful women who had put herself in this vulnerable position. I found myself thinking during the day how rare it is for people to be able to have such experiences. I was pleased to know I could give pleasure.

I also derive great pleasure from crafting a compelling argument. For me, that is a nice balance right now. There is a certain tension in trying to achieve that balance, but I think it is worth the effort.

You will have to decide what balance works for you. I wish you luck.

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Replies:

Subject	Author	Date
big trouble	marvin	13:48:36 02/17/05 Thu

also, my essay ..	marvin	11:42:09 02/18/05 Fri