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Subject: It's not you - it's me.

Author:
Reine

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Date Posted: 12:31:24 09/28/04 Tue
In reply to: Nicole 's message, "If I may be so bold..." on 16:38:13 09/27/04 Mon

What I realize is - I often get stuck in my communication when I allow my thoughts of how I am going to "look" to dictate what I say - and how I am going to say it.

I get caught up in wanting to make sure I say it clearly, precisely, effectively - (perfectly in fact) - in order to come off the way I want to. In fact - it is fair to say - that - that is what motivates my communication. I mean I can say I am worried about hurting someone - but really what I am more worried about is that they are not going to like me. I can say I want to be clear and precise, but really what I am worried about is looking stupid. And the list goes on.... Oy, let me tell you, constructing those limits is hard work. It's kind of like drafting a letter, spell checking it, revising it, rewriting it on pretty stationary and then sending it. Easier to do when you are not living in the moment - and when you are not being present with the person you are with.

But, I have known moments of freedom - where I said what I meant - when I meant it - with the person I meant to say it to. Ah, how good it feels.

I also have experienced those precious moments of saying it how it is for me - and in doing so - gotten closer to the person I was being my most authentic and honest with.

That is what I aim for - and that is what I ask for support in doing. Especially with men. As they are the one's that I want to look good in front of - in order to earn attention and ultimately love. Earn - is the key word. And fear of rejection - is the motivating factor.

Geeze louise - enough is enough - I am ready to move on to a more empowering way of being with others - and namely myself.

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Replies:

Subject	Author	Date
Amen Sister	Zeus	16:30:53 09/28/04 Tue
Creating and having -- Brazil, 16:55:14 09/28/04 Tue