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Date Posted: 12:42:43 05/21/07 Mon
Author: Mikki
Author Host/IP: 24-231-186-93.dhcp.bycy.mi.charter.com / 24.231.186.93
Subject: Re: Sounds crazy but ...
In reply to: Liz 's message, "Sounds crazy but ..." on 10:41:10 05/19/07 Sat

YEah...believe it or not the insurance pays for it. I get 50 sessions with a therapist a year. I have really good mental health coverage. I almost feel guilty for using the insurance on this insanity.

I am playing the game......going like I am supposed to because the doctor wanted me in the group. I have been to 4 sessions and I see my doctor on Thursday, so I am going to discuss my concerns with him. My therapist told me that "the one thing you need is the one thing you will most bristle at". I don't believe that.

I hate to be in the mindset that I am more high functioning than these people in the group. It feels kinda a grandiose in a way. But there are some sick people in the group, and I am doing my level best to hold on to my sanity. The group is simplistic, and I have gotten a good model to go by, so not all is lost. On the other hand, I don't want to admit to myself that I am as bad as the others and that is why I am in the group.

It's just after 12 years of therapy, hospitalizations, ECT, partial hospital and therapy for 11 years, I feel like I am above all this. Am I? Or do I belong there? All I know is I hate the feeling of a mint, I don't want to play with rubber balls, count colors on the wall, put purell on my hands or even be there. I guess I will talk to the doc and do what he says. I won't be non compliant...lets hope he agrees that I would be better served in a bipolar therapy group....where we can actually talk about our problems.

Thanks for responding, let us know how you are.

Love, Mikki

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