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Date Posted: 19:34:59 08/21/07 Tue
Author: Richard
Author Host/IP: adsl-68-255-244-149.dsl.sfldmi.ameritech.net / 68.255.244.149
Subject: Placid ---- Peace...

IIs there any difference… I am not sure if I am at peace or placid. Much goes on in our brains before we form a thought or idea… kinda wordless, unconscious configuring. Dichotomy I am. Highly emotional… Highly logical. Most of my first 50 or so years I have lived in and around violence. Really never gave a damn about what people thought of me but scared to death what they thought of me. I was not going to physically fight, play football, other brainless pretend violent games or violent games because that is what men are <big>supposed</big> do. I only feigned being in two fights all my life… came so close to deadly fights though. In short… I have accelerated aging big time. My cells cannot regenerate completely. You know our bodies replaces their selves every seven years or so… some parts faster than others. The improper regeneration of my cells is causing my entire body to be inflamed and is going faster than a snowball down a hill. The last few days… placid --- peace—silently configuring the logic of sticking around in this One Big World of Pain of ours with so much damn personal physical pain that is only to get worse… much worse. It is amazing how much pain the body can produce. Don't like the mental pain either. I am not going to be a numbed zombie on much stronger pain meds either… thanks anyway.

RICHARD

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