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Date Posted: 18:51:57 11/29/06 Wed
Author: Sandy
Author Host/IP: 68-115-144-233.dhcp.hckr.nc.charter.com / 68.115.144.233
Subject: Re: " Relationships "
In reply to: Dave 's message, "" Relationships "" on 09:18:47 11/27/06 Mon

It seems that there aren't many people who want to really work at something and bailing out is easier so they leave. And I'm not sure if I just live in an area with more screwed up people than most areas, but I've never seen so many people with so many issues in my life.

Everything is disposable these days. Sadly that seems to include relationships and families. To some people it's like buying something new at the store. At first they're proud of it and they take care of it but then the new wears off and it no longer makes them feel good so they cast it aside and find something else. That's how people seem to be with relationships. Some seem to have a revolving door. Out with the old, in with the new. The problem is that they usually trade one set of problems for a different set. Sure, there are times when the best solution is to part company but so many times if both people would just try harder they could make it work.

I've had my share of relationships and obviously they haven't worked out for various reasons. I've been alone for 3 1/2 years now. For the first 2 1/2 I really tried to find someone. I thought I needed to be with someone to be happy. I seemed to attract the worst of the worst and ended up getting hurt a couple times and ended up with one who wouldn't get lost. He was practically a stalker. Everyone I've met has so much baggage; financial, family or emotional. I know I have my problems but you know what? It didn't take many times of going out and meeting people at clubs, etc. to make me see that I'm a lot more normal than I thought I was. There are people much, much more screwed up than I ever thought I was.

For most of the past year I haven't dated. I haven't met anyone I cared to date. It's not that I wouldn't like to have love in my life. It's just it's so hard to find someone with similar goals, interests, etc. I don't want to settle. I would want to be with someone who can accept me for who I am without feeling that I had to change or hide parts of who I am from them.

I'm ok being alone. Through the week I enjoy coming home and having peace and quiet...no one expecting anything at all from me. I can just relax, watch tv, read a book, sleep, whatever. Sometimes on weekends I get lonely but I can always visit friends or family and that helps a lot.
So many people I know are unhappily married and they dread going home from work. At least I don't have that problem.

Relationships do take effort. One person can't make it work if the other person isn't doing their part. Right now my younger brother and his wife are on the verge of ending their marriage. My best friend is fed up with her husbands gambling, pot smoking and laying out of work and she's about ready to kick him out because she's the one paying the bills. They've only been married about 4 years. It was good at first but that didn't last long. My sister, who got married in May, is miserable and wanting back out. Most of the married people I know aren't all that happy so I'm thinking maybe I'm the lucky one because I'm not dealing with the stress they are.

Just my thoughts....

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