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Date Posted: 16:58:30 05/28/06 Sun
Author: Sandy
Author Host/IP: 68-187-173-005.dhcp.hckr.nc.charter.com / 68.187.173.5
Subject: I'm glad you guys are here

The past 3 weeks have been hell with Toupe's problems and now of course things still aren't going as expected with his recovery. And Gary pressured me all week.

With all of that, I'm feeling discouraged, down and out. The last thing I needed was for someone to ask me how things are going and then when I was telling them that it seems like nothing is going right for me right now, they said not to be negative. Well, excuse the fuck out of me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm exhausted from all of this and I know Toupe is feeling bad too but I'm the one who is supposed to be taking care of him but nothing I do seems to be working and I'm frustrated and discouraged. And sometimes it does seem that things don't turn out right when I'm involved. I don't know why. Is it bad luck? I never believed in luck.

Why did Matt's dad take me to court for 11 years and torment the hell out of me when so many men leave their families, pay their child support and don't cause all that trouble? Even when I offered him not to pay child support if he'd stop causing trouble, he didn't go for that.

I'm not trying to be negative when I say that it seems like things have always had a way of not going right where I'm concerned. It just seems to be a fact. Maybe it's something I do, I don't know.

All I know is that right now I'm stressed and discouraged and I don't need someone to accuse me of being negative. I think I have a right to feel this way. And I think most anyone would feel discouraged right now.

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