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Date Posted: 09:29:50 05/31/06 Wed
Author: Sandy
Author Host/IP: 24-158-61-135.static.hckr.nc.charter.com / 24.158.61.135
Subject: Re: Sinking--Long, Read with Caution
In reply to: Hope 's message, "Sinking--Long, Read with Caution" on 08:56:45 05/31/06 Wed

Hi there,

Well, I don't really know what to say except that kids know when you aren't happy and even though you may think you are providing Danster a stable home in the marriage, he can sense that it isn't really all that stable because neither of you are happy. I can't give any advice on the marriage situation because look at my track record. After Matt's dad left I jumped into a rebound marriage that was a huge mistake. Got out of it. Married Scott, was with him 5 years but when that went bad for both of us, I had to get out. I had moved Matt away from everything he knew to be with Scott and then I moved him back to NC. I did worry about what it was doing to him but he seems to have adjusted. Did it leave any scars? I'm sure but hopefully not so bad that it will negatively affect his life. You do what you have to do. Ultimately I think our kids are happier when they see that we are happier. While I don't like being alone sometimes, to me it's easier than having to deal with a lot of controversy with the "wrong" person. Someday I hope to meet someone who will make me change my mind about getting remarried but I haven't met them yet. When I get involved it ends up being so much work and such a struggle with everyone's baggage and issues that I find it easier and much more peaceful to be alone. It's hard to make it on one income and we don't have a lot left over but we're getting by and sometimes it's nice not to have someone else expecting me to act a certain way or be something I'm not.

I don't trust myself to make big decisions or major moves either so I definitely understand. I feel like I've screwed up too many times when I thought I was doing the right thing and then looking back it was clear to me that I made the wrong choices. Right now I'm just in a holding pattern, dealing with the everyday life and trying not to worry too much about the future.

I hope whatever you decide, it works out. You really may have to think about the medication for Danster if he has ADHD. I have ADD and the medicine works wonders for me. With ADD you get so frustrated and over-stimulated mentally with all the sounds, activity, and just stuff going on around you and it's hard to process it all and finally it makes you so nervous and agitated that you just can't take it anymore. The medicine really helps to block some of the stimulus out and focus on the task at hand. It also helps with appetite. And now they do have the medication that isn't a stimulant.

Gotta go. Matt's locked himself out at home.

Love,
Sandy

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  • Re: Sinking--Long, Read with Caution -- Bill, 16:53:20 05/31/06 Wed
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