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Date Posted: 00:23:01 06/12/06 Mon
Author: Sandy
Author Host/IP: 68-187-173-005.dhcp.hckr.nc.charter.com / 68.187.173.5
Subject: Heck, I don't know
In reply to: Liz 's message, "So you are saying" on 15:33:31 06/11/06 Sun

You know him better than I do. I'm just saying that usually while we're so afraid of saying something that will make them mad or make them think we're complaining, the truth of the matter is that nice guys live with real bitches all the time and seem to be perfectly happy there. Maybe they like women who won't put up with their crap. But I've always been just like you described...afraid they'd dump me if I let them know something bothered me. Meanwhile when I don't want to be with someone and I'm letting them know that in no uncertain terms I can't beat him off with a stick. It's like the more certain they are that they have us where they want us, the more they take for granted but if they get the idea that they might not have us or that we might dump them, they stick with us like glue. Just look at that one guy after Marty that you dated, before the one you are with now. The one who couldn't seem to do enough, who just kept coming back no matter how many times you told him you didn't feel that way.

I wish I understood why it's like that. Why can't they try at the same time we try. If both people really tried to think of the other person wouldn't that be great? But more often than not it seems that one person gets the role of doing the trying and the giving while the other person thinks more about their own interests. Too bad.

I don't know what you decided to do but I hope it worked out ok. I was just saying that you won't be happy in a relationship for very long if you feel like you're always the one who has to give in and if everything always has to be on the other person's terms. At least I don't think you will be happy because like me you are too insecure and if you'll never be sure of that person if you don't see them being concerned about your needs too.

Relationships are hard. That's why I'm so gunshy at this point. I'm sick of having to try so damn hard all the time. The only time some guy ever really tries to make me happy is when it's someone I don't want to be with.

I hope someday a special guy will come along and really show me the attention I need and will be someone I'm attracted to. If not, I guess I'll sit here alone with the cats. ^..^ Could be worse though.

Hugs,
Sandy

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