VoyForums
[ Show ]
Support VoyForums
[ Shrink ]
VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

[ Login ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, [8] ]

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Date Posted: 09:35:12 06/11/06 Sun
Author: Mikki
Author Host/IP: 68-188-189-246.dhcp.bycy.mi.charter.com / 68.188.189.246
Subject: Lots of stuff

Well our guests from Australia have arrived and we are having a wonderful time. Lydsey is staying with us the entire summer, and she is a really sweet girl. I'm afraid that Sarah is going to corrupt her though. Sarah is walking on the wild side lately. Lyndseys mom Debbie stayed with us for 10 days, and she is a wonderful lady. She is a nurse, and we had lots to talk about. She was very outgoing and conversation flowed smoothly between us. She left on the 9th, and I really miss her. It was nice to have a friend to do stuff with. We took them out on alot of day trips to show them the sights of Michigan. She shopped and had a good time. We went to a casino in Canada, for she wanted to say she had been to Canada. I was worried about the border crossing into the US though. One american citizen and 2 australians, I was sure we were going to be pulled over. We didn't, their passports were all in order so we didnt'have any trouble at the bridge.

It made me kind of tired with all the activity in the house.Sarahs bf David flew in from San Antonio during all this time. I have lots of reservations about David....he is 27 and Sarah is 17. But she is "in love".......god help me. So our house was packed for a while. David leaves for home this afternoon, so it will just be Sarah and Lyndsey now. I hope I can keep Lyndsey from being bored. I can't afford to take her here there and everywhere all the time.There are going to be some down times.

The appointment with the Christian Counselor was a complete bust. This guy wouldn't know bipolar disorder if it hit him in the face. The clinic doesn't have any after hours contact in case of emergency....they say to call the suicide hotline. He also would not make any phone calls to me under any circumstances for that would be a breech of a boundary of the therapeutic relationship.

Again, another termination appointment last week with the therapist from hell. I had questions, no closure, and the most incredible pain in my heart because things weren't finished. I wrote him a letter (very long) explaining everything. We talked about that letter. Then an epiphany occured with me. I don't need this guy.....he was so cold, and whatever therapeutic relationship we had was really really gone. I managed to keep myself together when I was with him, but came home and cried all day. I got all that emotion out....and I feel much better. I sent a card saying goodbye (I don't say goodbye because it is too final for me), but I did it with him. He sent a letter back saying that as of June 12th, termination was complete. So it is over for the millionth time, but at least I got some closure. I was sucked in for 10 years...
granted he helped me alot, saved my life, but never ever fall in love with your therapist. It will only kill you emtionally. I have a feeling he had some countertransference feelings toward me, otherwise this 3 month letter writing campaign and difficult, argue filled appointments wouldn't have continued. I think he had some issues with me as well. How could you not after 10 years?

So I am in search of a therapist. I do see Jim tomorrow, and I am going to sit down and talk to him about him being more aggressive with me and my issues. If he will stop the "suck it up" routine we may be able to make it work.
I don't want hand holding....I want someone to get in my face and help me. So if Jim is able to do that with me, then I will stick with him for a while and see what happens.

I have been having suicidal thoughts from this breakup with the therapist from hell. I even sat and got all my stuff together. Thought about it alot, and realized what the hell was I going to accomplish other than destroying my family? Dan isn't going to care if I am dead or not...

So I put my stuff away. Ready to look to the future instead.

Sorry this is so long, I haven't been on much because the girls hog the computer. Just wanted to update you on what was going on with me.

Love to you all,

Mikki

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

Forum timezone: GMT-5
VF Version: 3.00b, ConfDB:
Before posting please read our privacy policy.
VoyForums(tm) is a Free Service from Voyager Info-Systems.
Copyright © 1998-2019 Voyager Info-Systems. All Rights Reserved.