| Subject: Re: Went to see a counselor today for the first time... |
Author:
mrsk
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Date Posted: 21:38:10 10/21/04 Thu
In reply to:
Kara
's message, "Went to see a counselor today for the first time..." on 15:20:52 10/21/04 Thu
>I had been talking to Becky about going to see a
>counselor, and I finally did it. I made my
>appointment last night and I went this afternoon. It
>was only an hour long session but it helped a lot.
>
>I REALLY REALLY ABSOLUTELY DID NOT want to go. I
>hated myself for thinking that I needed help, for
>feeling so weak, but I went against the "evil voice"
>inside my head, and I did it. My voice was fragile on
>the phone making the appointment and my knees were
>ready to collapse on the way over today. But I went.
>The man was really nice, even when I was edgy because
>I felt so stupid being there. I felt so riddiculous
>sitting on that couch knowing that he had a piece of
>paper in front of him I filled out that had a bunch of
>checks next to things like suicidal thoughts, eating
>problems/weight concerns, trouble adjusting, roomate
>problems, antisocial behavior... I just listed so many
>things and looking at it on paper made me embarassed;
>vulnerable more than anything; a feeling I HATE.
>
>He was able to help me figure out in that one session
>that one of the reasons I am so unhappy is because I
>refuse to accept that I'm human and that I have
>faults. I demand a lot from myself, and I have no
>patience/tolerance for me, so I'm incapable of giving
>it to anyone else. I remember reading that a lot of
>people with EDs are very intelligent people who are
>perfectionists, and I never considered myself one
>because I thought it was too arrogant to say that
>about myself, but now that I look at it objectively I
>realize that I am.
>There's a lot more, but that was the big thing I
>guess. I am by no means fixed, but just having
>someone there to interpret my thoughts and feelings
>helped to put things into perspective so I could start
>fixing things that are wrong in me.
>
>So what I want to say is that tf any of you have a
>voice telling you to go see a counselor, no matter how
>meak it is, listen to it please. I'm glad I did. I'm
>going back next week... :)
>-Kara
Good job Kara. I'm proud of you. Its hard to do I know. I go to a councelor too.
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