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Date Posted: 18:48:59 03/05/01 Mon
Author: LMS
Subject: Anguish- Part Three

Anguish-Part Three



He needed to do something, anything, to get his mind off of Carrie. The park bench was bittersweet. Full of good
memories, but also painful at the same time. He got up and headed towards the playground. Maybe if he hopped on
the swings for a while it would help him. He always felt carefree when he played on the swing set as a child. But as
soon as he got to the playground, he changed his mind. He looked past the swings and that’s when he saw it. The
sand box. That’s what he really loved. Playing in the sand. And so he took off his shoes and socks and stepped
inside. The sand was a bit cool and damp from the night air, but he didn’t care. He knelt down and started molding
the sand with his hands. It was very therapeutic and he was almost starting to feel a bit better. He hadn’t really noticed
what he was building until he saw them. A couple strolling in the moon light, arm in arm, very much in love. That could
have been me and Carrie. He watched the couple for a moment and all of a sudden, this enormous sense of emptiness
overcame him. And that’s when he noticed it. He looked down and saw that subconsciously he had started to build a
sand castle. The one thing that he would always associate with Carrie. Something in Mike snapped. All the heartache,
the loneliness, the lost dreams, and the pain, came crashing down around him. Mike knew he couldn’t hold his
emotions in any longer. He looked to the heavens and shouted, “Why, God, why me? Why did you have to make me
fall in love with the one person I can never have? Why? I just don’t understand.” Hearing no immediate answer, he
hung his head and cried.

*****************************************

Carrie hurried along the path to the playground. She came around a group of trees, looking towards the swing set
hoping to see Mike, but he wasn’t there. And that’s when she heard his anguished cry. She turned her head towards
the sound and her heart broke yet again at the sight before her. There he was, kneeling in the sandbox, his head bent
down. She knew he was crying. Crying because he thought she didn’t love him, crying because he thought that she
had given up on their love. But that was the farthest thing from the truth. She walked silently towards him and stepped
into the sandbox. She could hear his soft sobs and all she wanted to do was make him feel better, make them feel
better. She was nervous. After all, her entire future sat right in front of her. She wanted to do this right. Make him see
how much she still loved him. She knelt down beside him and spoke very quietly. “Mike? Mike, please look at me.”

He knew she was there. He could always feel when she was near, but he didn’t want to see her, didn’t want her pity
or her apology or anything. He just wanted her to leave him alone and let him get on with his miserable life. When she
whispered his name, that was his undoing. He couldn’t help but look at her. Carrie gasped at what she saw when
Mike raised his face to look at her. She had always thought that she would never see more pain in a person’s eyes
then when Austin caught her in bed with Mike, and that was true. Until now. “Oh my God, Mike.” Her voice cracked
with emotion, and was filled with such tenderness and concern that he thought he actually saw love in her eyes. But
that couldn’t be. She was with Austin now. The next thing he knew she reached for him and pulled him towards her
into an embrace. She was crying now too. He could feel her tears slide down his cheek. She was whispering
something through her tears but he couldn’t understand her. He pulled out of her embrace and carefully studied her
face. Her expression confused him. She seemed to be in just as much pain as he was.

He wiped his eyes. “Carrie, what are you doing here? Please, please just leave me alone.”

“Mike, I’m so sorry about tonight. I wish I had known you were coming home.” Carrie choked back a sob and her
voice became almost inaudible. “I wish you never left. I missed you so much.”

Mike almost laughed. “Missed me? It didn’t seem like you missed me too much. From what I heard on the roof, it
seems like you made good use of your spare time.”

“Mike, I know what you saw and think you heard…”

“Oh, what? I didn’t hear you two say that you’ll always love each other?”

“Yes, you did, but…”

“But, what Carrie?” Mike sighed and looked down towards his hands trying to get his emotions in check. “Look, I’m
happy for you, really I am. All I ever wanted was for you to be happy and if that’s with Austin, fine. I just hope he
realizes this time just how lucky he is to have you in his life.”

“Mike, I know that what you saw hurt you deeply, but please, listen to me.” She took a deep breath to calm her
nerves. “Austin and I are not back together.”

Mike thought his ears were playing tricks on him. “What? What did you just say?”

“Austin and I are not back together. We were just saying goodbye. We’re over. We’ve been over since before you
left. Besides, how could I ever go back to him when I’m madly in love with you?”

“What?”

“What’s with you Horton? You’re a little young to be needing a hearing aide.” Carrie reached out and put her hands
on Mike’s face and looked directly into his eyes. “I said, I’m in love with you. You, not Austin, you.”

She saw a light flicker in Mike’s eyes. “You are? Really?”

Carrie shook her head and smiled. “Yeah, really.” The flicker in his eyes turned to fire.

Mike grabbed her hands and smiled for the first time that evening. “I thought I’d never hear you say those words
again. Carrie, I can’t tell you how good it feels to hear you finally say that.”

“Mike, I don’t need you to say anything to me right now. What I really, REALLY need, is for you to kiss me.”

Mike laughed, “God, I love you.” And with that he pulled her on top of him and they fell back into the sand. He
kissed her with an intensity he never knew he possessed. They couldn’t seem to get close enough. Somehow through
their passion, Carrie ended up under Mike and he lifted his head to look at her.

“Mike, there’s something I want to ask you.”

Mike looked at her incredulously. “You sure you want to talk right now? I kinda like what we were just doing.”

Carrie laughed. “Me too. But we can only do so much here in the sandbox before we get arrested.”

“Good point.” They both sat up. “So what did you want to ask me Carrie?”

“Well, I was wondering why you came by my apartment earlier. I mean you didn’t even call me to tell me you were
coming home.”

Mike lowered his eyes and suddenly became nervous. “Don’t you mean I never contacted you while I was gone?
Isn’t that what you really want to know?”

“Well, I would like to understand and I’m sure you’ll explain it when you’re ready.”

“You know, I’m really sorry about how I left things between us Carrie. I was just so confused about myself after that
whole Ali thing and our affair. I know you must be very angry with me for leaving and for not calling you or anything,
but I just really needed to reevaluate myself and my life…”

She put a finger to his lips. “Shh, Mike, you don’t have to explain now. I think I kind of understand what you were
going through.” She lowered her head. “Actually, I kind of have a confession to make.”

“You do?”

“Yeah. After you left the rooftop, I went to look for you. I knew that you were hurting because of me and I needed to
find you. So I went to our bench in the park figuring you’d probably be there.”

“And I was.”

“Yeah, you were. Mike, I’m sorry, but I overheard your conversation with Lexie.”

“You did.”

“Yeah, I didn’t want to eavesdrop, but I’m glad I did. I never really understood what you were going through. I hate
to admit it but I was so wrapped up in what I was feeling, I never really thought about what you were feeling…..I
hope you can forgive me.”

“Of course I forgive you. Didn’t I once tell you I could forgive you for just about anything.”

Carrie smiled at Mike and the memory. “You did. I remember that, and I also remember that I thought you were
going to kiss me right on that park bench.”

“I wanted to. I fantasized about it right on that park bench.”

“You did?”

“Yeah, I did. In my fantasy I told you that I was in love with you and that I thought you loved me too. And then you
told me you were and we shared our first kiss.”

Carrie smiled at Mike. “We’ve gone through so much together since that day.”

“Yeah, we have. And I think we’ve made some mistakes along the way, too.”

“Yeah, I guess we did. But were still here, aren’t we?.”

“Yeah, we are. You know Carrie, I was going to call you. I must have picked up the phone at least a thousand
times.”

“So, why didn’t you? What stopped you Mike? Was it me?”

“No Carrie, it wasn’t you. It was me. It took me awhile to get myself straightened out from everything I did, to really
feel like I could explain to you what was going on and once I could, so much time had passed. I guess I was just
afraid you’d be so angry at me for leaving you the way I did, that you wouldn’t want to even talk to me and so I
devised my plan.”

“Your plan?”

“Yeah, my ‘Sweep Carrie off her feet’ plan. I figured a romantic surprise might be the only chance I had. I guess I
was the one who got surprised.” Mike smiled at how his plan had backfired.

“So what did your ‘Sweep Carrie off her feet plan’ include? You’ve got me really curious.”

“Well, I was going to come to your apartment and tell you how much I loved you, that I missed you and that I wanted
to be with you and then I was going to ask you ..….”

“What? You were going to ask me ….. what?” Carrie tried with all her might not to smile, but she was satisfied that
she had guessed right. Mike had planned to ask her to marry him. Her insides were flip-flopping like crazy.

“Well, I guess I could just show you.”

“Mike! We can’t do that in the park!”

Mike laughed at her. “Hey, I like your idea better, but that’s not what I was talking about.” He got down on his knees
beside the sand castle and for some reason had a sense of déjà vu. He remembered this had been one of his fantasies
from long ago. He reached into his pocket but couldn’t find the box. He checked all his pockets. “Oh great.”

“Mike, what are you doing?” She could see the disappointment on his face. “What’s wrong?”

“I lost something.” Mike stood up searched his pockets again.

“You lost something? What did you lose?”

Mike continued searching his pockets. “Oh man, I can’t believe this.”

“Well, I’ll help you look, maybe you dropped it. What is it, so I know what I’m looking for?”

“It was a surprise for you, so if I tell you, it’ll ruin the surprise.” Mike began to sift the sand with his feet. Maybe it had
fallen out while he was building the sand castle.

Carrie reached into her purse and pulled out the velvet box. She turned to Mike. “Is this what you’re looking for?”

Mike turned around and saw she had the box in her hand. He was completely shocked. “Carrie, how on earth did
you find it?”

Carrie laughed slightly at Mike’s expression. “To be honest, I didn’t. Austin saw it hit the floor when you left the
rooftop.”

“Oh…..So, um, I guess you already know what’s inside.”

“Mmhmm.” She handed him the box.

“Carrie, if this is too quick for you, I mean, we can wait if you want to.”

“Well, Dr. Horton, I guess you’ll just have to find out if it’s too quick or not.”

“Okay, here goes.” He dropped down on one knee. Carrie couldn’t keep the grin off her face, and as he looked at
her smile, his heart seemed to heal completely. He took her left hand and spoke softly, “Carrie……” He stopped and
looked up at her face. “You know this seems kind of silly since you know what I’m going to do?”

“No, it doesn’t at all. Not to me. Go ahead Mike, you have my full attention.”

“Okay.” He took a deep breath. “Carrie, I think that you know by now that you are the most important person in my
life. I have never in my entire life felt a love as deep as ours. You’re my best friend, my lover, and the woman that I
want to be the mother of our children. I know that we haven’t always made the best decisions in the past. Yet
somehow, here we are. I think that’s a sign from God that we are truly meant to be together. I would feel totally
blessed if you would agree to be my wife. Will you do me the honor of marrying me?”

Tears ran down Carrie’s face, but her smile lit up the night sky. She stroked his cheek with her right hand. “It would
be my honor to have you as my husband.”

“That means yes right?”

“That means yes.”

Mike carefully slid the ring on Carrie’s hand and kissed her finger. He stood up and pulled her to him and proceeded
to kiss her with all the love he felt in his heart. “You have made me the happiest man alive.”

“Well, I plan on doing that for the rest of my life.”

Mike raised his eyebrows. “Really? And when do you plan on starting?”

“Tonight. I know we’re not married but we’ve been apart far too long and tonight we are going to get as close as two
people can get. So get your shoes on because I’ve waited for you long enough.”

Mike sat down in the sand to put it shoes back on. “Hmm. Well in that case, I better call Grandma and let her know I
won’t be staying with her tonight. She was a little worried about me earlier.” Mike pulled out his cell phone and dialed
Alice’s number, as Carrie stared at her beautiful ring. “Hey, Grandma…. Yeah I guess I do sound happy. That’s why
I’m calling. I’m not going to be staying with you tonight……..” Mike laughed, “Well, I’m going to be staying with my
fiancee….” Mike laughed again and pulled Carrie to him. “Yeah, Grandma, I mean Carrie. Who else? She has
graciously agreed to be my wife…... We’ll come by and see you in the morning and fill you in.”

Carrie questioningly looked at Mike and mouthed the words ‘the morning?’. He got the message. Mike laughed out
loud. “Uh, Grandma? You better make that tomorrow evening. We’ll see you then.”

Carrie put her arms around Mike and looked deeply into his eyes. “So, Dr. Horton, you ready to go home with your
future wife?”

Mike smiled tenderly at Carrie, “I’ve never heard more beautiful words.”

“Well then, let’s go home. We’ve got a lot of ‘catching up’ to do.”

Mike and Carrie laughed as they took each other’s hands and headed home to begin their new life together.


THE END

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