Subject:  Dissecting the English language... |
Author:
Mod
[ Edit | View ]
|
Date Posted: 04/ 4/08 7:51:37am
Just a little "sumthin'" I read somewhere.. It brought a smile to my face, hope it brings one to yours.. Read on!!
If you ever feel stupid, then just read on. If you've learned to speak fluent English, you must be a genius! This little treatise on the lovely language we share is only for the brave. Peruse at your leisure, English lovers. Following are reasons why the English language is so hard to learn. . . . .
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row. They formed a row on
the side of the canoe.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail
18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in
pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither
from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of both beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it? Is it an odd, or an end?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a
wise guy are opposites?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
P.S. - Why doesn't "Buick" rhyme with "quick"?
[ Post a Reply to This Message ]
| | Replies: |
- English time -- ferdee & edna, 06/24/05 11:53:18pm
- Maganda iyan, Ferdie & Edna - English Proficiency Program. I don't think we had that in high school, did we? English subject, but not the prof. program. Pero sa totoo lang, for anybody to get far in this world, you have to have an understanding of the language. The best tool is to READ! READ! READ! Naalala ko, 'nung bata ako, wala akong masyadong laruan. But we had a lot of books at home. Iyun ang ginagawa ko, nagbabasa. We're lucky sa Philippines, kasi English is taught in schools. Me mga countries who do not advocate the English language, kaya pagpunta nila dito sa States, they're lost. Kasi, iyung means of communication nila, it's very limited. (NT) -- Liz, 06/25/05 12:32:49pm
|
|
Feedback: 
Forum Update
(belated )happy holidays!!
BIRTHDAY GREETINGS!
I would like to convey my most heartfelt condolences to our batchmate, Rhodora Guzman-Mitra & family. Rhodora's father passed away on her birthday, October 12. Dora, condolences.. Take care of yourself, dear friend.
Attention Batchmates.. re: SBM Onofre Bayuga
Rhodora and Edna! 'Kala niyo nakalusot kayo, ha!! Happy happy birthday, my Friends!!!