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Date Posted: 11:35:44 04/01/13 Mon
Author: GoodWillTalking
Subject: 2nd Message from John 3/31/13

Raven & John are really in need in some positive energy and prayers, guys...here's John's post:

For Raven's many friends out here, I wanted to give you an update. Raven and I have been together on and off for many years, and I've never seen her like this. It's really hard to get a smile out of her these days. First, the one doctor that she really trusts - who hasn't given up on her - who's been really helping her get through, has left the Oncology practice we've been going to. I have never seen her cry the way she did when she opened the letter that was sent to all of his patients. At this moment, this particular doctor has been a vital source of strength for her. He won't let her give up, even when she's overwhelmed, he's been her hero. The hospital will not tell us where he's gone - they won't allow that. Right now, she feels like she doesn't have a doctor. That alone has us pretty shaken up. We've been searching on the internet to see where he's gone. That's how important he has been to her case.

The last thing Raven needed was to fracture her wrist as badly as she did. She fell backwards with all of her weight, crushing her wrist. All I heard was screams, and her wrist was badly swollen and deformed looking. I'm trying to find the right words to keep her from losing hope, now that she's having so much trouble taking care of herself. The pain from the chemo combined with the incessant pain from her wrist has become a serious issue for both of us over the last week. She broke the wrist that she uses. Its almost impossible for her to use her left arm because she's right handed, and because she's got lymphademia from her original breast cancer in the left arm. The heavy cast that was put on this past Wednesday to replace the splint has pushed the pain that she was already feeling through the roof. I don't think either one of us had any idea how heavy these are. We're also worried that she's further aggravated her herniated disk. I'm starting to run low on positive things to try to distract her from the pain, and keep her going. We went to the othopedic surgeon on Wednesday who's supposed to be the best in the area. We waited in their waiting room for almost 2 hours, and we got about 7 minutes of his time when we finally got in to see him. The frustration is hard to describe for both of us. After looking at the new x-rays, he says she should have surgery with pins and screws to secure the bones. All of this has left Raven in a place I've never seen her in before. I think this would test the strongest person in the world. We're going back on Thursday to discuss surgery, after we're able to discuss her situation with her oncologist that she doesn't even have anymore. All that's left to her at the practice are strangers that she doesn't really know. Raven even asked about the second oncologist that stepped in the day Cat was there to hold Raven's hand while she received chemo, but he's left too. The Ortho knows the risks involved with surgery in the middle of chemo, and he wants an OK from the oncologist. We're at a cross-roads because the oncologist who knows her case - who is in the best position to help us find a way forward - is now gone.

I just want to keep you all updated. I know it's not the best news, but it's what we're dealing with. Please know that Raven really does love all of you with all of her heart. I'll try to keep you updated as best I can. I know Raven would want me to wish you all a happy Easter. Thank you all for trying to keep our girl strong.

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Replies:

[> Re: 2nd Message from John 3/31/13 -- Carol Lohuis, 07:00:05 04/03/13 Wed [1]

Just because the hospital will not tell you where your Oncologist went, does not mean you can't find him. Check the AMA, Google, etc. It sounds like the hospital has a high turnover rate?
I have been an 'onlooker' here for over ten years. Raven has become a part of my life and I am wishing all the very best!


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[> Re: 2nd Message from John 3/31/13 -- Julie, 22:49:25 04/03/13 Wed [1]

You should tell us his name. We might be able to help you find this doctor. Social Media is an unbelievable source of power and information. Use it to your advantage. Praying things get better for you both soon.


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[> Re: 2nd Message from John 3/31/13 -- John, 03:34:01 04/04/13 Thu [1]

Hi Raven,

My lord.. Now you have three things gone against you. I can't believe how you broke your wrist and the pain you are dealing with...Then the pain in your back. Then this dreadful cancer you have to contend with. I wish and pray you get a break. This pain you have to endure, I can't even imagine. I'm not sure if you had even a chance to watch GH's 50th anniversary or even the marathon episodes that aired on Soapnet. I really hope you got a chance to watch some of them. Those special moments from GH, especially the 80s, can help ya. I know they did for me when things weren't going well or I wasn't feeling well..

I can't believe your doctor left. Of all things you don't need. I pray you find someone that is close to what your other doctor did. I know you have the support from all of us. All we can do is pray that your pain can be managed. I hate to see you suffer like this.

Finally, John, I pray for you too bud. It must be like hell you have to go through. Plus watching your loved one suffer. Sometimes you feel helpless or you feel like lost. This whole situation, I can't even imagine what your going through. But I'm making sure the both of you are in my prayers. I just pray some how, some way, she can be blessed and have less pain. Just wish she can catch a break.

Okay, both of you are in my prayers. Don't hesitate to ask. We are hear to help in any way..


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[> Re: 2nd Message from John 3/31/13 -- Harold's Bone, 11:09:32 04/04/13 Thu [1]

Thanks so much for the update. I am sure you are helping her out ever so much, and Raven is lucky to have you. I'm so sorry for all the troubles.. Wishing for the best possible outcome for both of you. There are tons of people out here in internet-land wishing and hoping like heck for nothing but the best outcome for her and you. You both are inspirational. Bless ya, and tell Raven to keep up the good fight!


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[> Re: 2nd Message from John 3/31/13 -- Sandra McManus, 17:04:53 04/04/13 Thu [1]

I have been coming here to check up on Raven for over a year now and as a Cancer Survivor, I understand the devestation of losing a trusted Oncologist. Someone at that practice,knows where her doctor went. If one of the nurses that Raven knows is still there, I would take her/him aside and tell them that this doctor was Raven's "face of hope" and she is having a really difficult time not knowing how to get in touch with him. Ask them to get a message to him at least. I am amzed that this practice doesn't understand the importance of this request. One time my Oncologist told me that he was planning to retire soon and that he wanted me to meet another of his doctors and I let him know that I couldn't do that and so he stayed with me until I was several years cancer free and he still calls me once in a while to check in.

It's important to feel that you have control in your treatment since you so little control over what is happening in your body. Please pursue this and get really assertive with these people or have someone you trust to do it for you.

I am also wondering if you might discuss with Raven some stronger drugs until her wrist can heal. I was on morphine for a short period of time when the pain was at it's worse. She won't have to be on it foreverbut she needs something to take the edge off for at least a little while.

All of my prayers are with you and Raven now. Blessings to you both.


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[> Re: 2nd Message from John 3/31/13 -- Hannah ((((healing light and love)))), 23:57:59 04/04/13 Thu [1]

Dearest John,

I agree with Carol's reply (above) - there will be a way that you can locate that doctor. If he has had to move far away from where you are, do ask him to please refer you to another doctor in his field. If he praises the doctor who has replaced him, then that should help to put precious Ravenbeauty at ease.

(((sending Ravenbeauty healing light and love)))
Hannah


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[> [> Re: 2nd Message from John 3/31/13 -- Louise, 00:18:17 04/09/13 Tue [1]

God, I would be devastated too about losing the doctor, but most likely he will continue to be affiliated with the same hospitals so maybe you can reach him through there. Here are some other ideas:

You can find people, addresses, telephone, e-mail addresses, etc. for a $6.95 fee.

http://www.intelius.com/people-search.html

http://www.whitepages.com/person

Heck, write him a letter, go knock on his door, if he is not working, ask him for a reference and ask him to talk to a future doctor.

Try
http://www.healthgrades.com/oncology-directory

http://www.scripps.org/physicians/find


John, I can't say enough about you, I wish you all the best in life.

Raven, The longer we dwell on our misfortunes, the greater is their power to harm us.

No matter what, don't lose hope. Sometimes God switchs us in another direction for a reason.


May God hold you in the palm of his hand and comfort you. You and John need to think positive as a team along with the thousands of people who love you.

Watch a movie that makes you laugh. Go sit outside and enjoy nature, even for 5 minutes. Spring is the time for new life. Soak in the positive energy abundant in nature.

Many blessings.


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[> Re: 2nd Message from John 3/31/13 -- carolyn, 22:04:29 04/05/13 Fri [1]

I have contacts at memorial sloan kettering and will be there next week follow up appt. I am not sure what hospital your dr is or was out of, but if you give me his name I will ask my dr and the nurses to find out where he is working now. I am also an attoney and feel confident we can find him.
Always remember that you are Raven's hero. It is your touch and love that has held things together for Raven. Sending you both prayers and hugs.


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