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Date Posted: 14:45:10 01/18/13 Fri
Author: GoodWillTalking
Subject: 3rd Chemo procedure cancelled

Posted 1/17/13:
Hey Guys, Week three and I'm home without doing treatment today. Words cannot express the gratitude I have for my Oncologist. He honestly cares about my case and wants to see me beat this. I don't feel like a name and number. Bad morning with almost no sleep worrying. I have never felt this ill before. It was the first time that I had to literally pull myself out of bed to get ready for this appointment. I have a sore throat and everything just felt like it was all in slow motion today (everything is an effort). Making tea was exhausting, which is just crazy for someone like me. John came home early and collected me and off we went. The nurse (one of the really nice ones I like a lot) came in to access my port and take blood. My Oncologist came in and took one look at me, and said that he felt that we should skip today and not do these treatments weekly anymore. He was worried about how I looked today, which is what John said when he came home to get me. I'm pale naturally, but apparently I was too pale and sickly for them today. My white count has dropped a few more points today, and is getting dangerously low for two treatments. My hair came out almost completely today. I just stared in disbelief and kept telling myself "I knew this was coming"...........

I know.....I know......

The hair loss hurts, but it's not the part that is making me sick. My Oncologist is wonderful and does everything he can to help me. He gave me a script for Metformin. We are only going to do 500mg of the ER (extended release) per day to give me more of a level playing field with the blood sugar, but not enough to cause too much more intestinal pain, which Metformin is famous for (and we found out from him today that Metformin is being used in trials now against cancer and enhances the ability of chemo)! Who knew! He gave me a script that you swish around for the painful mouth sores, and something called Proctofoam, which oddly enough, my insurance doesn't cover. They had to order in the latter, so John is picking all of this up for me tomorrow. As we sat in his office, hair was literally falling out and collecting on my coat, and he remarked about how hard my body is taking this. He was hoping I would be one of the stronger ones, but I honestly crashed this week. Not a good week. He didn't like they way I looked today, my blood count was not impressive, so he did not want me treated today. The nurse came in and pulled the needle out (hurt like hell today because I forgot to use my EMLA cream). I was supposed to do Abraxane and Avastin today, but he wants me to do this next week instead and recheck everything first. The plan now is to have me do both every other week. I'm thankful that he is looking out for me because I was honestly thinking that no way could I do this every week feeling this sick this fast.

Now for the good news, John and I are not imagining things after all! He wanted to see my lesion, which has been growing since my last surgery on July 23rd, and he had this huge grin on his face and did a big thumbs up! He said that it has absolutely shrunk (we were not sure if we were just wanting it to be true so much that we were seeing things)! He then asked to check the lump of Angiosarcoma under my right arm and said that he could barely feel it anymore! I have been afraid to touch it or push into it since I learned it was not my primary cancer in that lump, but it has shrunk! It was huge at one time when you pressed into that area! A big moment for me because I have been second guessing myself all week about the decision I made. Today was a reminder that as dark as things get, there really is hope and light out there for us all. I don't know what it's done for all the other areas in my chest, but we are SEEING the results because of the lesion and that lump that was closer to the surface! I needed something to hold onto with the way I feel and I got that today! I feel like hell, but there is a major war going on inside of me, and the Angiosarcoma is taking some major hits too now! THANK YOU GOD! There had to be some light! I hope you guys have a beautiful weekend! I love you! May God bless you and watch over you now and always! I'm spending the weekend in sleep mode! XOXOXO! ♥

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Replies:

[> Re: 3rd Chemo procedure cancelled -- Terri, 18:51:11 01/18/13 Fri [1]

So glad there is good news with the bad news! I have been praying for you and will continue to do so. Use this next week to rest and restore, do whatever makes you feel better... and be happy that what you are doing is the right thing, it is helping! A big hug to you, take care of yourself! xoxo Terri


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[> Re: 3rd Chemo procedure cancelled -- Carol, 00:21:20 01/19/13 Sat [1]

I felt such a jolt of positive vibes when I read the last paragraph. The Angiosarcoma is taking some major hits too!!!! What fantastic news. May God continue to walk with you along your path to success along with that angel John. He is one incredible guy. God bless you both.


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[> Re: 3rd Chemo procedure cancelled -- Nancee, 04:10:00 01/19/13 Sat [1]

Sending you lots of strength as you battle this demon. You are so strong and I am in awe of you. You are taking us all along on your journey and educating us on this horrible thing called cancer. Sending lots of prayers for you to heaven. Hang in there. I think the sun will shine brightly for you soon. Hope you can get some rest this weekend to prepare for your next treatment.


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[> Re: 3rd Chemo procedure cancelled -- californiadee (Happy), 16:21:07 01/19/13 Sat [1]

Raven
This is fabulous news! Please hang in there! Hair will grow back. In the meantime try out being a blonde, red head or blonde and burnette. Please up the cinnamon where you can and know we are praying for you. You are on a prayer chain that goes from CA to the Vatican


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[> Re: 3rd Chemo procedure cancelled -- dr.ivankipling, 03:21:35 01/20/13 Sun [1]

Raven you're in my thoughts&prayers! We're all with in spirit&sending our love&strength to you!XOXO


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[> Re: 3rd Chemo procedure cancelled -- Hannah ((((healing hugs)))), 04:08:39 01/22/13 Tue [1]

((((Dearest Ravenbeauty)))

You are winning the war, and everyone who loves you will be walking beside you every step of the way until you are totally cancer free! :)

(((((Love and hugs to you :) ))))
Hannah


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[> Re: 3rd Chemo procedure cancelled -- Rapido, 22:28:26 01/22/13 Tue [1]

Thinking of you, so brave and determined. Try to visualize the cancer cells imploding with every treatment.
I have a suggestion. After your recovery is complete, please write a book. Your online postings can be your outline. Your words never fail to inspire me.


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[> Re: 3rd Chemo procedure cancelled -- Jan loves abc soaps, 06:23:43 01/24/13 Thu [1]

HiRaven! Just wanted to post & let you know I am thinking of you & praying for your complete recovery. Hang in there!


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