| Subject: Re: my "place" at the table |
Author:
bittersweet
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Date Posted: 16:21:56 08/23/05 Tue
In reply to:
lara
's message, "Re: my "place" at the table" on 15:39:43 08/22/05 Mon
>Jane,
>
>I'm happy you talked to your mom. I am the same; I
>don't want to feel forgotten, BUT I don't want to eat
>with the "family", partially because my father is
>drunk most of the time, partially because it is my
>silent protest against this "family" unit, partially
>because I am just so uncomfortable eating with other
>people.
>
>How old is your sis? Could you perhaps speak with her
>as well? I have a lil sis, she is 17, and she is my
>biggest supporter. I can cry on her shoulder when I
>need to. I never feel judged by her. Truly she is my
>best friend. She has gone through a lot herself. She
>had a brain tumor (an astrocytoma) when she was 4 and
>has been faced with her own challenges, memory and
>learning related, as she has grown up. I have often
>felt, and still do feel, that I have failed as a big
>sister. I wish I could be that strong older sister, a
>strong role model for her to look to. She is a little
>bit on the heavier side and I admire her for her
>confidence and acceptance of self. I wish I could
>model that for her like she has modeled that for me.
>
>xo
>Lara
>
>ps- Please don't sacrafice your health for weightloss.
>You don't want to screw up your metabolism anymore
>than you have. Try to get that protein in, ok? I'm
>seeing my nutritionist tomorrow, I'll write you with
>the details...
lara,
i know a lot of the pain that comes with having an alcoholic family member, my father is also an alcoholic. he doesn't live with us anymore, my mom forced him out years ago basically because he was abusive and a danger to us. it's probably common for people w/ Eds to have some form of "addiction" in the family...only, in my families case my dad was more of a threat to us than himself. i'm sending you much love, because it's a very difficult thing to deal with no matter what the circumstances <3
your sister sounds like an incredibly strong person and i'm glad you two have such a good friendship. i couldn't imagine having to go through something like that. my sister is 25, 6 yrs older than me- unfortunately we've never really gotten along. she made fun of me, her and my older brother, my whole childhood when i was overweight, calling me "fatass" and the like...when i developed an ED they both began to make fun of me even more, saying i was too skinny...i think my sister became extremely jealous (according to my mom) so instead of a "fatass" i was then, and still am, a "psycho obsessive freak". it seems like the insults never stop coming from them...i'm either too fat, too thin, weird, crazy, spoiled, etc. since i cant spend my whole life trying to be perfect so they wont harass me, i can guarantee i wont maintain a relationship with either one of them as i get older. it saddens me in a way, but i also feel like i can finally be free...eventually. my sister says my mom is always on my side and cant see how manipulative i am, and how "stupid" my ED is or whatever. She thinks EDs in general are stupid and not real problems. it's really quite maddening.
well i guess we all have our problems- the way i see it, at least i have my mom. i know for a fact she understands my problems, which helps a lot
take care
~jane~
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