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Date Posted: 03:22:23 03/05/03 Wed
Author: OdaMaeLu
Subject:

“IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII Love a Parade!!! La la la la la la la la laaaaa!!!!! GAAACK!!! Judi! Wait! Don’t kill me! Wait! It’s for YOU! Yes! Really! In honor of your birthday we’ve decided to give you you’re very own PARADE!!! WooHOOO!!! Yes! I KNEW you’d be thrilled! O.K. Sit back and relax and enjoy the show! Here they come NOW! , JUDI!!!!!!

Whoooo hooo… and LOOK who’s LEADING the parade!!!! Hiya, HARMKINS!!! Oh look! He’s waving at you, Judi! Now he’s SALUTING! Oh my GOODNESS! Boy HOWDY is he saluting! Oh Blush! Blush! I’m so embarrassed! SHIELD your eyes, Judi! Don’t loooo… Oh my.. Umm.. you know.. He certainly can fill uh.. ~cough~.. You know those pleats ummmm… Gosh, I wish I’d brought those extra panties… ~cough~ Anyway, let’s see what’s next!

Why it’s the Harmyboarders! Trish, Matou, and Maggie, followed by LoriD, and AmyLynn, and TWO Lindys! Oh my.. THAT’s scary.. and KK, Phoebe, and Carrots, Jennifer NTS, Allie, Jagglebelle… My lands.. LOOK at them all! I see Cathy, Paris, Limbo, Chris… it’s like a MOB scene down there! And here comes KAL and Rita and Jerseygirl and is that Lijo?! Hey, Lijo! Yoo Hoo!!!!!
AAAAAIIIIIIIGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
What on earth?!
AAAAIIIIIGGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!
What’s wrong with you!? What are you screaming about!
AAAAIIIIGGGGHHH!!!! I just LURK! I just LURK! I just LURK! AAAAIIIGGGGHHHHH!!!!!
Oh for heaven SAKE. You know.. SOME of these people REALLY scare me… Sigh.. Moving on.. I see… MichelleB. Uumm.. do we want to know why she has her hands tied and duct tape on her mouth?? And what’s that written on the tape? Let’s see.. Let me get the binoculars…. “Harm’s my hero!” Oh isn’t that sweet. I knew she’d come around! That cow thing was just wrong on SO many levels. Ahem.. Next we have Sarahsue, Araninda, J-Bird, MSU98… Oh LOOK! It’s even LORI LYNN!! … and.. is that JELLO??? and.. TECHIE51, too??!!!! Wow! I haven’t seen them in AGES! HI, Lori Lynn!!! HI, Jello!!!! HI, Techie!!!! Oh.. and there’s the Kept.. Wonder what kept her.. ar ar… and then…lets see.. who else? Jen, Lisa, newbies Kay, and KathyJL… my lands.. it’s ENDLESS.. I can’t NAME them all.. Look how they’ve all turned out for your birthday, Judi! And here comes another huge group! There’s, Yali, Vivienne, Tracy, Em-Jay.. I see Ashke, CB, Lee, CatQuack, HeatherA, Oldspice. There’s the Skip, Manette, CharS, Windchime, LRM, ChrisL… Wait a minute… Aren’t these our resident FIC writers? What are THEY doing down there! Hey! Aren’t you guys supposed to be home WRITING? I mean… who gave you permission to leave your keyboard? Oh all right.. I guess you could stand a bit of sun… But as soon as this parade is over YOU GET BACK TO WORK! Sheesh… You know.. I have to keep on these people ALL the time. It’s SHAMEFUL, the bunch of lagabouts! Ahem.. Now then. Here comes Cavewoman, Katie, Ajlover (umm… time to UP those meds, dear…), Sue T, Aims, and… Oh my.. they seem to be working themselves into a FRENZIE! What’s that sign they’re carrying? Let me put my glasses on.. it says… it says… Freeeeee… Computers!… No, no.... that’s not it.. Freeeee Comander.. COMMANDER! Yes. Free Commander…. WINKIE! Well.. I think we can ALL agree on THAT one!

Oh and look, here comes a FLOAT! Gosh.. it seems to be going sort of.. fast. Huh.. Well.. anyway… Let me take a lookie and see who’s on it! WooHoo!! It’s the King and Queen of the Parade! Spoiler King and Minerva!!! Oh, now.. that is just too cute! Their scepters are little talking spatulas! LOL! Let’s see who else is on the float with them.. Oh.. it’s Brigitte! Isn’t that cute? She’s handing out some of her music videos to the crowd! Wow! They’re going wild! And there’s Helene up there with her. Oh look she’s passing out little Eiffel Tower statuettes… at least I THINK that’s the Eiffel Tower! Hmm… seems to be pretty popular whatever it is. And there’s Claudia! She is just the cutest thing. Oh and she’s handing out that yummy chocolate! Claudia! Gosh I LOVE that stuff! Up here! Oh good.. she’s tossing… HEY! Judi! Give that back! That’s MINE! What do you mean I look like I’ve already had enough?! Well! How RUDE! You see if you get a parade NEXT year! Harumph! O.K. back to the float… Standing beside Claudia is… LEE! Woo hoo! She’s handing stuff out too! Oh my GOSH! But it seems to be… DECKING people. What on earth is she THROWING? Bricks? Somebody pass one up to Lu… Here we go! My lands, it a book. A very, very BIG book. “Harm, Mac, and TPTB, A Unique Perspective by Lee.” ~cough~ Ummm.. Here Judi. From me to you. Happy Birthday. What? What do you mean it’s hard for you to follow her logic? Lee makes PERFECT sense to me! And I’m telling you, that first one of hers “Harm, Mac, and HMS,” was FLYING off the shelves down at the local Shipperdeland bookstore! What do you mean, “Want to trade?” No. What’s that? Exactly where in my house do I keep it? You stay away from my house! Besides, you people frighten Mr. Lu, not to mention the neighbors, local police, and lest we forget, certain domestic farm animals! Sheesh. Anyway… Back to the parade. Oh look.. the King and Queen are hugging each other. Isn’t that the sweetest thing? Actually.. they seem to be sort of…gripping each other. Oh my, it looks like Brigitte, Helene, Claudia, Lee, and the two talking… well, no, now they’re screaming, spatulas have bailed! What the heck? Why is everyone acting so SCARED? Wait.. who’s that guy on the tractor pulling the float?! Wait a minute.. that’s no guy.. that’s.. ABBY NORMAL! Oh for Pete’s sake!!! Abby! I TOLD you NOT to drive that tractor until you read all the directio…. Abby?! Abby!!!! LOOK OUT!!! Run people! RUN!!!! Oh gosh.. Was that anyone we know? Gack.. I hope that poor person is o.k!! … Well.. I see LoriLynn, Oldspice, SandyB, and Yali are all running up to…. help …~cough~ Anyway, here comes another poster.…

Look! It’s CindyB marching and twirling a flaming … stuffed leg!? Gack! Gosh.. that’s sort of… Sigh.. Judi.. You REALLY need to speak w/ Cindy. Yes.. the sooner the better... I mean… she’s starting to get… I don’t know.. sort of.. gruesome. NEXT!

Oh it’s Crosby driving a pink Cadillac and throwing Partypalz samples to the crowd. My LANDS look at them DIVING for the things! Oh gee.. there goes Abby again.. Well, at least she’s off the blame tractor! Judi? Judi? Why are you crying? What? No. No, I’m SURE Crossy saved some samples for you, dear. No. I’m sure she didn’t give them all away. Now, now. Let’s not say unkind things about Abby. Anyway, how do you know Abby isn’t down there collecting them for YOU!?? Right. Sorry... Anyway, I’m sure Cros has saved you a sample or two. Probably. Oh, would you stop bawling! You’re giving me a hegg egg! Sheesh. NEXT!

Oh and here comes that cheery Miss Shell! She likes everything! And my she’s smiling! Now.. what’s her sign say…let me see…. Oh..it’s not a sign at ALL! It’s..it’s a… FLAG! A flag? What kind of a flag is THAT? Oh MY GOSH IT’S A PAIR OF BOXERS!!! She’s got a pair of BOXERS run up a flagpole and she’s waving them at the crowd! Oh my gosh! People are going WILD!!!! Good HEAVENS! Someone has broken through security! It’s… it’s LAURI!!!! My lands! She’s appears to be threatening Shell w/ a golf club of some sort! She wants.. What is she yelling??… She wants… the BOXERS!!! Let’s see if we can listen in…

GIVE THEM TO ME!

Have you lost your mind?! Get away!

They’re MINE! I got them fair and square!

You did NOT!

Yes I did! I got them at the golf tourney!

Well I bought them on E-Bay! I’ve got a RECEIPT!

HA! Stolen merchandise! I got them from Harmkins himself!

Oh STOP! You did not!

I did! You know when he was playing golf and I was there on the sidelines?! And you know that picture of him bending over?!… Well… right after that pic was taken I snuck up and SNATCH!!!! Pulled them right out!

What!?!

Yes! I did! It was EASY… besides.. they’re those breakaway boxers.. I think he may have ordered them from that Crazy Crossy.. in fact it SAYS PartyPalz on the inside label.

Well.. I don’t care. You’re not getting them back!

Oh yes I am!

Oh no you’re not!

Give. Me. Those. BOXERS!! ~SWACK!!!~
Oh dear! Umm.. ~cough~ I think we’d best move along now… Sigh…

Oh LOOK! It’s my wonderful GLA helper buddies, Spud and Pretz…. carrying a GLA sign. Oh isn’t that SWEEET… Wait a minute.. why does it have a SLASH thru it??? And.. isn’t that a picture of… ME?? Yeeeee! Oh my… Hmmm.. looks like a bit of dissention amongst the troops… Hey, Spud, Pretz! What’s up with the OW!! HEY! Watch it! Gack! Why are you throwing your signs at me?! Sheesh.. The HELP you get these days! Sigh..Well..it appears they have joined up w/ the next group…

Now this is interesting..… Here comes none other then Holy Shipper Freakin’ Moly herself CG! Looks like she’s holding up a letter.... it says… it says, “J.” Hmm… and then .. CharS.. has an “A” followed by CarolD with an “M” and then… Pretz with another “M” and then.. CathyF has… an “I,” and then.. Shell is bringing along an “E,” and last but not least we have.. Spud with an “S.” Let’s see.. what does… oh.. I should have known… JAMMIES! Sheesh! These people are obsessed…

Anyway… here comes one of our resident non-shippers… Yes, it’s none other then Heather and.. what the heck?… Why is she pulling Dancer in a wagon? Oh dear. The Skip doesn’t look well. Oh my. I think this season has really taken its toll on the poor dear… Umm.. Heather! Excuse me! Heather?! What’s wrong w/ the Skip?
Huh? Oh nothing. She’s fine!
Well.. gosh.. she doesn’t LOOK fine… Why is she laying there.... twitching? Gosh.. should we call a doctor? What’s that Dancer?

What? Heather, who is “Dr. Ron?”
No one. Ignore her. She gets like this sometimes. …She’ll be fine. I think….
Gosh, Heather. Are you sure??
Oh yeah. Happens all the time. Dancer! Get up! ~ Boot! Boot! ~ Oh gross! Stop drooling in my kid’s wagon would you?! Ugh. They want to USE this again, you know! Sigh… The NEXT time Judi has a parade, I’m coming by myself. Sheesh. Who appointed me your keeper, anyway?
My goodness, would you LOOK at the time!!! NEXT!

Here comes the Admiral. Oh for heavens SAKE! Go AWAY, Michy! Not THAT Admiral. OUR Admiral! Oh.. isn’t that cute. She’s on a float shaped like a boat! That’s an unusual SAIL she’s using. What on earth.. oh my gosh! It’s the Harmy Quilt she won! And what’s that written on it???.. it says.. It says, “Someone help me! I was shanghaied here by Katrose!” Oh my… NEXT!

Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh! Oh my GOSH! It’s a .. It’s a.. GOLDEN SCISSORS float! Oh my goodness! Give me the BINOCULARS! Give me the .. JUDI! GIVE ME THE STINKING BINOCULARS!!!!! Thank you! Hmm.. I see.. CharS, Lauri… Where IS he??!!! Where IS he!?? Jam, Xena…Mz. Bob, Trish… Oh Crud. No Harmkins. It’s just the Golden Scissor LADIES! No Harmkins. How depressing. Here, Judi.. You can have the binoculars back now. WHAT?! Oh stop whining and watch your parade! You don’t have any M&M’s on you do you? No? Sigh.. NEXT!

Now.. WHO is this in the CHEF hat coming down the lane? MANETTE!!! What on EARTH?! Oh my gosh.. TELL me.. TELL me that’s a salami laying on that tray…. Oh my gosh.. I just.. I just.. CatQuack! Catquack! Get over here!!! MAG! Get the tranq gun!! Yes. Dart her. She’s gone too far this time! Yes.. Tranq her, Mag! Catquack.. uhh.. you may want to get Sarahsue to .. uhh.. bag uhh.. that.. umm… .. just in case someone is uhh.. looking for.. uhh.. NEXT!!
Well, here comes the Second Banana herself! WooooHoooo!!! Some of you may not know this but Cece is also President and founder of S*M*O*O*C*H! That’s right! Smudgaholics Madly Obsessed Over Commander Harm! One of my FAVORITE organizations!!! Ooooooo!!! What’s this? It says here in my notes that she has an extra special gift for Harmkins! Wonder what it is? Hey, Cece! Whatcha g… oh my GOSH! CECE!! What HAPPENED to you??!!! You’re all… all.. SQUISHED looking… Cece! What? A TRACTOR you say… Oh umm… That’s umm…

YES and my lawyers tell me if I can ID the driver we’re ALL gonna be rich!

Oh Cece, now.. You don’t really look all that worse for wear. It’s not like you to seek revenge…
CECE! CECE! I know who DID it! Seek REVENGE! Seek REVENGE! Yes! SUUUUUEEEE her!

What?

Nothing.. nothing. Judi! Shame on you! You hush!

I will NOT! That stinking Abby has hogged her last PartyPalz! And on MY birthday no less! HA! What goes around comes around! Cece! ABBBBBYYYY! It was AAAAABBBBBBBY!!

Oh JUDI! Good GRIEF! Calm down! Sigh.. Now, Cece, it’s TRUE that Abby was the driver of the trac..

Hold that thought..

..tor…Sigh…Umm..Hi Sandy. Uh.. Nice weather we’re uh.. having umm.. Who ya got there with you? Oldspice! Hey! How’s Beans doing these days? Hey LoriLynn, Yali. Soo… How’s every little thing with you all?

SIC EM!

What?! Wait! Now LADIES! I’m SURE we can work ALL of this out.

Oh yes.. We figure four ways!
Hey.. you said FIVE!
Oh yes.. ~cough~ FIVE ways.

Oh now you people just STOP this nonsense! Abby is a fellow Harmyboarder! Besides, you know good and well she didn’t MEAN to run over Cece. Plus Cece is OBVIOUSLY fine. Well…maybe a little.. uh.. flatter but.. Hey! Who doesn’t want to be able to turn sideways and virtually disappear?! Now.. What say we ALL just get along and go back to the parade!

Forget the parade! Sue that stinking Abby! She’s got my Partypalz!!!

JUDI! Sigh..O.K.. I’m sorry to have to do this, but.. everybody, pull out your contracts. Yes. Look for.... Yes. Chapter 53, subchapter 64, part a.3. Now.. read down there.. it’s a clause in our Parade contract that says if you are run over by a tractor you are not allowed to sue. Yes… it’s after the danger of poofing clause.

I don’t see it.

Sigh.. LoriLynn, it’s right there.. after the poofing clause.

Nope. Mine says, “Harm stood in the doorway, his gold wings shimmering in the candle light. Mac leaned closer and began to..”

WHAT?! Let me see that!

Hey!

Oh hush. Let me look at th… This isn’t the parade contract! This is .. OH MY GOSH! THE LATEST CHAPTER OF DREAMLAND!!!!!!!!! JACKPOT!!!! We have hit the JACKPOT!!!!!!! Oh my GOSH! Yes.. see.. there’s Dancer’s name at the top! It must have fallen out of her pocket on the parade route! Oh my Oh my Oh… Do you have any CLUE how much this thing is WORTH? There are shippers all over the WORLD breaking out in HIVES waiting for this chapter to post! And WE’VE got it in our hot little ha….



Oh Hi, Skip… Uh....

~SWACK!!~

Well.. easy come, easy go…Sigh… O.k. O.k.. where were we? Oh yes.. As a gesture of good will, and to smooth over any hard feeling, how about I talk to Cros about sending you each complimentary Palz packets. Would that make you a bit happier?

Oh yeah. Hey! Tell her to send the sparkly one with the …
YALI!
Sorry.

O.K. Now.. Ladies… why don’t you go on back to the parade. I’ll catch up later. Cece… you originally said you had a gift for Harmkins. What is it, dear? Can you show us?

Sure.. why not?

FLASH!!!!

AAAIIGHHHH!!!!!! Oh good GRIEF, woman! You’ve been all this time marching around down there NEKID but for a trench coat?! No wonder Abby ran over you. She probably went BLIND! I know I almost did! Thank goodness I had on my sunglasses. My lands! When’s the last time you got some SUN, anyway!? Gee WHIZ! You know.. That’s it. I’m soooo out of here. Judi… Happy Birthday. Cece… Put some clothes on.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JUDI!!!!
THANK YOU FOR OUR HARMYBOARD!!!!!


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