Create a New Forum Admin Login Member Login Contribute to Voyager Search VoyForums Help Desk VoyForums Exchange VoyForums Directory/Categories VoyForums Homepage VoyForums News FAQ - Frequently Asked Questions

[ Show ]

Support VoyForums

[ Shrink ]

VoyForums Announcement: Programming and providing support for this service has been a labor of love since 1997. We are one of the few services online who values our users' privacy, and have never sold your information. We have even fought hard to defend your privacy in legal cases; however, we've done it with almost no financial support -- paying out of pocket to continue providing the service. Due to the issues imposed on us by advertisers, we also stopped hosting most ads on the forums many years ago. We hope you appreciate our efforts.

Show your support by donating any amount. (Note: We are still technically a for-profit company, so your contribution is not tax-deductible.) PayPal Acct: Feedback:

Donate to VoyForums (PayPal):

[ Login ] [ Contact Forum Admin ] [ Main index ] [ Post a new message ] [ Search | Check update time | Archives: 1, 2, 3, [4] ]

September 11



Get a GoStats hit counter
Join in to discuss Stargate SG-1, Stargate Atlantis, MacGyver, and other RDA Projects! Coherent posts are OPTIONAL!

Links: From Rosie: Window of Opportunity – Transcript and Screencaps GateWorld RDAnderson Stargate SG-1 Gekko Charmer JAG Links: The BLA GLA Archive MAEVE’S LiJo’s Reader's Niche

UPCOMING EPISODES: All times Eastern. MACGYVER STARGATE STARGATE Season SEVEN STARGATE (Syndication) Check local listings for days/times. Movies/Specials/Appearances In Syndication Week of 8 September. Check local listings for days/times. MERIDIAN Daniel Jackson is exposed to a lethal dose of radiation while visiting an alien civilization that is building a weapon of mass destruction. Thur, 11 Sep, 12am on TVLand. SQUEEZE PLAY. Mac helps a girl rescue her father from a blackmailing counterfeiter. Thur, 11 Sep, 2pm & Fri, 12 Sep, 12am on TVLand. JERICO GAMES. MacGyver's reunion with his high-school sweetheart sours when he learns she is being mistreated by a broadcasting mogul. Friday, 12 September, 2p.m. on TVLand. THE WASTELAND. MacGyver risks his life when he tries to prevent an ambitious land developer from causing further destruction to the environment. Friday, 12 September @ 9p.m. and 11p.m. on SCI-FI. HOMECOMING, Part 2 Anubis lays siege to Jonas' home planet, Kelowna, threatening to tear it apart and enslave its people. Saturday, 13 September, 2p.m. on TVLand. EYE OF OSIRIS. MacGyver helps an archaeologist and his assistant outsmart a gang attempting to raid Alexander the Great's lost tomb. Sun, 14 Sep @ 2pm & Mon, 15 Sep @ 12a.m on TVLand. HIGH CONTROL. Mac helps an innocent parolee escape from a gang of bikers that is blackmailing him. Wednesday, 17 September, 11:00AM on RC- Women’s Entertainment –WE IN THE EYES OF A STRANGER An innocent woman becomes the target of thieves who mistakenly believe she knows the location of their lost loot. Monday 22 September, 02:30AM & 08:00AM on TBS – Turner Broadcasting System BEYOND BETRAYAL A woman attempts to change her identity and start a new life after fleeing from her abusive policeman husband.

KAT’S EMOTICONS

• dasfads -- sdfasd, 17:11:52 10/13/02 Sun
  May I have a drum roll PLEASE!!!! And the winner the Gluoodle is …. Wait for it… TRISH!!!!! WWWHHHOOOOO HOOOOOOOO!!!!!!! Trish won this weeks.. uh.. months.. uhh… time period … Gluoodle!!! Congratulations, Trish. Inside for the nominations.
  
  
  
  Abby Normal ~ 5 points
  
  OK...Got a tatoo of a cute little butterfly when I was 18 . ..location: classified.....Does it hurt..?? yes...and I was snockered....And the reason WHY you should not get a tatoo ??? Cause what was a cute little butterfly at 18 has gotten way bigger like me and looks like ------- Mothra..-----arrrgggghhh!!!. ~ Abby Normal...( that is probably way tooo much info....but a tatoo on a old broad isn't all that neat....LOL)
  
  "Need to Know"---The combustion point of stubble vs stubble-- Harm comtemplates just how close of a shave is necessary before he drops by for an evening at Mac's... ~ Abby Normal ( more on stubblegate...), (speculating on future episodes)
  
  Okie Dokie Harmychokies ~ Abby Normal
  
  I am going to foward my suggestion of an all "undies" episode of Jag...where all the stars, with the exception of Bud, are in their undies the whole episode...I'd suggest an all nude episode but...it is on at 8:00pm...~ Abby Normal
  
  Percentage of people who actually believe that Harm and Mac are just friends and they aren't having wild monkey sex??? Zip..... ~ Abby Normal.....(in response to Acer’s JAG stats)
  
  
  Acer
  
  WOW!! Can we say it is almost like some sort of "indirect" kiss? ~ Acer... I know I need to home and take my mind away from JAG or Chinese food!!
  No. ~ Luoodles campaigning to raise Shipper standards!!! (this exchange was GLA’d as one, so point for Acer, point for Lu)
  
  
  AmyLynn
  
  THANK YOU!!!! I like it, I like it. "Chicago Chic Chick" It's good, I knew you ladies could come up with something. My brain quit 3 weeks ago and I haven't had time to charge it. THANK YOU!!!~ AmyLynn, the Chicago Chic Chick (I'm gonna waaay over-use this)
  
  
  BEK7
  
  I gotta say - ANY Harm is a GOOD Harm!! The younger version showed ALOT more skin (I know some debate the sexiness of this - but a nekkid/near-nekkid/kinda-sorta nekkid Harm is a GOOD thing people!! LOL!) On the other hand, the seductive voice/eyes of LL and ADII "Come to me " should have been enough to melt even the plexiglass..... ~ BEK7..... So... Can I be part of the NE Nymphos?.. or does PA have it's own little group??
  
  
  Cathy F.
  
  Luoodles, this is what my dad always told me about the bogeyman. Oh honey once he sees you in the light he'll bring you right back!! ~ Cathy F. Warm and Fuzzy HUH!!!
  
  
  Cece
  
  He's pointing at me and saying "hands up, baby hands up, give me your heart gimme gimme...and take off the bra while you're at it!" ~ Cece (in response to: Who is Harm pointing the gun at and why???)
  
  
  Cece’s Bouncer
  
  GAG!!! Blech!! That has got to be the ickiest thing I've heard all day!! Lu, you need to get your wires... er, uncrossed!! ~ Cece's Bouncer (in response to Lu suggesting they should write Singer into the show as a mommie)
  
  
  CG
  
  Sorry, you know I love Harm, but this was not his finest moment. Maybe he's too distracted by Mac and all the wild sex they're having. Oh, sorry, that's just in my imagination. ~ CG
  
  
  CharS
  
  It's all about a BOB named Harm! ~CharS (in response to Lu’s … …how LONG has it BEEN for the two of them? They must be INSANE by now…)
  
  
  CM
  
  No, I think Harriet would be a better choice. Could you see the baby shower she and Mac could throw??? Get the kid every loud, obnoxious beeping banging talking toy in the universe. My pick for twin names Dameon and Belezebub. ~ CM>^.,.^<
  
  
  Crosby
  
  Oh oh oh ohohohohoho OH! Pick ME! PiCK ME!!! ~~~Ahem~~~ AND folks, remember how Mic said, “Why in times of crisis am I the last person you turn to?” WELLLLL ~~~~ DINGDINGDING ~~~ we have made it… EXHALE ~ …. Crossy getting a nit too excited today
  
  oh my OH MY CECILIA !!!! uhhh…I’m falling over from your response…this, my friends…THIS…is definitely a turning point!!!! ACK! I LOVE it, Cec…THANK YOU for putting this into words…LOL! Dancer! THIS is IT…Can you see it??? The howmanyfreakingyearsdoesittakeforharmtoletgo…HOLY CARUMBA FOLKS….I think we’re onto something! ~ Crossy, desperately grabbing the arcs of TPTB and fitting them together,
  
  Complete with mirrors, bats, and ovulation kits... ~ LOL Crossy--hi lu (suggestions of what should be put in the I Like Singer Fan Club kits)
  
  
  Dancer
  
  Keyboard maintenance - essential for the modern Harmyboarder! ~ Dancer - You ought to see the title bar on this page. LOLOLOLOLOL (in response to… oh man.. o.k.. I’ll just put it all here! LOL! Here goes: When is Cece coming back??????? – Luoodles Oh, Cecilllllllllllllliiiiiiiiaaaaaa!!!!!!
  
  Oh, LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU, SHEEEEEEEEEEEEEE'SSSSS COMMMMINNNGGG BAAAACCCKKKK LLLLAAAATTTEEE WEEEDDDDNNNEESSSDDDAAAAYYYYY NNNNNIIIIGGGHHHHTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!! -- JJJJJJJJJJUUUUUUDDDDDIIIIIIII,
  
  Thhhhhhhaaaaaaaannnnnnnkkkkksssssssss,,,,,,,,, Juuuuuuuuuuuuddddddddddddiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!!!!!!!! -- Llllluuuuuuuooooooodddddddllllllleeeeeessssssssss
  
  
  Em-Jay
  
  Offensive Action....... A whole episode of nothing but Singer and SECNAV!!! ~ Em-jay (speculating on future episodes)
  
  
  FCCIC
  
  Re: Jag on ET - They showed a clip from this ep at the FanFest - I think the shippers will enjoy the Chinese food scene - even if it leaves them hungry for more in an hour ~ FCCIC
  
  
  Heather-O
  
  So if Singer's religion is the Navy, does she pray to John Paul Jones??~ Heather-O
  
  
  Jello
  
  So what did Harm name after Mac? His hand?-- whew, I did NOT just post that! ~ OlleJ (in response to Char’s It's all about a BOB named Harm!)
  
  
  Judi
  
  JAG Office Memo (now located on the HarmyXtraboard.) point for Judi for beginning the insanity and the ensuing madness! LOL!
  
  you mean it gets really hot in there???? ~ judi (in response to CM’s explanation of pilots undergarments….”Always all cotton because of fire hazard.”)
  
  Great idea, a count-up clock. I can do that. Does anyone know the last time HE got a workout? ~ judi waving to michelle and abby (also a point for Michy for suggesting the idea!)
  
  As the JAG turns... Stay tuned to... ~ judi
  Did Sergei and Singer make Lu happy on the way to the airport?
  What will Mac straighten on Harm next week? (we can hope!)
  Where will Singer hang her mezuzah and will she start saying 'Oy?'
  Will the new leg crafted by CindyB arrive before Bud has to begin his new life as Bud Light?
  Will Big Bud start a class for sensitivity training for families of soldiers injured in the war?
  Will Harm have to attend Lamaze classes with Singer as substitute for his bro who will be MIA in Timbuktu?
  Does Harm and Sergei know that each other has a real name and it's not 'brother?'
  Can Tiner be any happier?
  Can Harm be any more gorgeous?
  Does Harm ever take off his clothes?
  If so, why can't we see it?
  The answers to these and other burning questions may never be answered. Darn!
  
  
  Lonestar
  
  Kinky!...oh, wait, you meant on YOUR legs ~ Lonestar (In response to: Well.. it's just that he's never seen a woman use sheep shears before......)
  
  Loved the picture. I shipperventilated. ~ Lonestar--it's been a long, dry shipper summer, (In response to the side hug/handholding/head on his shoulder picture)
  
  
  Luoodles ~ 7 points
  
  Well.. it's just that he's never seen a woman use sheep shears before...... ~ Luoodles hoping to teach Harmkins a thing or two... OOooooo... do you think he'd like to join me for a day of HOME SCHOOL??????!!!!!!!!!!!!! (In response to: That's why his face looks that way. He's watching Lu shave her legs!!)
  
  ~
  Next Week on Jag… ~ Luoodles
  AJ’s concern about Meridith escalates when she shows up at JAG in dress whites and chef hat proclaiming the opening of her very own Naval Flight Training/Bakery/Shakespearian/Opera School entitled: Limitations Slimitations, Unlimited.
  
  Tiner becomes Secretary of the Navy.
  
  Reeling from sticker shock at the going rate for Prosthetics. Harriet saves the day when she goes online and discovers “CindyB’s Discount Legs” shop.
  
  Singer and Sturgis begin dating.
  
  Mac receives Customer of the Millennium award from PartyPalz, Inc. Crosby is promoted to West Coast Director and awarded a red convertible.
  
  His hopes dashed yet again following his euphoric ET buildup and subsequent episode let down, Commander Winkie attempts suicide but thankfully is saved when the zipper jams. Shaken, Harm initiates new Zipper Control Laws in an effort to stop the violence! In a surprise move, the National Zipper Association or “NZA” (now headed by Mrs. Moses) wholeheartedly agrees.
  ~
  
  Excuse me ladies, I need to talk w/ Char in private for a moment. Apparently the woman has lost touch. Let me see.. Char..I'll just wisper this in your ear, dear. Yes. Come here. Are you listening carefully? ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR EVERLOVIN MIND????!!! Rushing? RUSHING??!!! WHAT would you call going SLOW? BACKWARD TIME TRAVEL? And... DEVELOPMENT of their RELATIONSHIP? That SPAGHETTI SCENE? Lady and the Tramp saw more action over a noodle. Oh sigh. Oh heavy, heavy sigh. Our shippers are now so desperate they are content w/ anything. CatQuack, we need to bring Char 's DOSAGE DOWN a bit. Hmm... perhaps in her drugged state Char saw a DIFFERENT ep then ol' Lu. RAISE your EXPECTATIONS, CHILD! ! ROTFLOLOL!!!!, ~Lu
  
  WOW!! Can we say it is almost like some sort of "indirect" kiss? ~ Acer... I know I need to home and take my mind away from JAG or Chinese food!!
  No. ~ Luoodles campaigning to raise Shipper standards!!! (this exchange was GLA’d as one, so point for Acer, point for Lu)
  
  WELCOME , !!!!!!!!!! We missed you!!!!!!!!!!!! Judi (and everyone else) hung up on me in IM last night. YES! It's TRUE.. Can you believe it? Very sad. Oh.. and did you HEAR about SINGER???? Tsk Tsk. Oh.. I just can hardly SPEAK of it.. ROTFLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!! Luoodles so glad her Buddy is back in town!!!!
  Oh look! Here is everyone to greet you!!! !!! And look! It's MANETTE doing her little dance.... !! Isn't she cute?! Oh no. Get out of here, CindyB w/ that "leg." Ugh.. Eeeee! Oh.. I forgot to tell you. We're ALL expecting a FULL review from you tomorrow on last nights ep! Best get CRACKIN! Let's see.. what else happened whilst you were gone... Ummm..... Well.. I can't quite remember.. but.. WE MISSED YOU!!!
  Oh HI Judi! I didn't know you were here! Judi? AAAAIIIIGGGGGGGHhhhhh!! Judi! Put down the AX!!!!!! Judi!!!!!!Sigh.. welll I don't know WHAT's wrong with Judi. I was able to get the ax from her. She says she has another and is She keeps mumbling something about Emoticons.. I don't know.. I think the woman needs a doctor. ~ Luoodles (I think she has a TOOOMOR.. she says it's actually a LUUUUMOR though.. whatever that is) (Note: emoticons were left out of this copy)
  
  When the Bough Breaks – In a tragic episode Bud decides to join baby AJ in his new (weight limit 40 pounds) tree house… -- Luoodles(speculating on future episodes)
  
  Dangerous Game – while playing a game of underwear ping pong, Harm makes the dire mistake of mentioning Mac’s “stuble.” Hours later he awakes w/ a ping pong paddle wedged in his forehead and a can of Nair up his nose. ~ Luoodles Oh this is FUN! LOL!!! Let me get my COFFEE! LOLOL!!!!,(speculating on future episodes)
  ~
  
  
  O.K.. the following post get’s the blue ribbon for the MOST GLA’s. I didn’t count them but there was a ton!
  
  Manette
  
  I am still recovering from the SHOCKING noodle scene. I can't believe they showed that during the Family hour! -- manette-who is stuck at work with to much time on her hands,
  First Harm is shown poking around in his own box and after one bite declares that it is anything but delightful....poor man-- we know he has been left to his own devises for months now.. He looks sad -- he looks pitiful....
  
  So Mac has mercy on him and in a bold move invites him to partake from her box. Of course it has been months since he has been that close to a woman's box so he dives right in....He grasps his noodles firmly and proceeds to wave them in her face...teasing her..taunting her. In a dramatic climax they both grasp their noodles simultaneously but as so often happens in real life she finishes him while he has only started her...
  
  I guess no one is going to mention this either but I am pretty sure that they were both wearing UNDERWEAR under their clothes during that entire show!!!
  ~
  
  I believe Mac has a stubble tattoo ~ manette
  
  "Hi Georgetown Hospital E.R.? Can you give me a remedy for plaster burns? (NT) -- Trish...BAD manette...bad, bad, manette (speaking as Harm in response to pic of him talking on phone)
  
  
  MichelleBlue
  
  I think ----- WHy "go there" with them at ALL if they don't plan on REALLY turning it into something? LOLOLOL!!! Not that I *want* a Sergei/Singer thing .... but heck --- JAG has already gone so over-the-line into soapdom, that I say --- GO FOR IT! LOL! Singer carrying Serge's lovechild! He gets a qucik green card and Harmypoo gets a sister-in-law from Hell! LOL! And maybe they'll have twins and name them Flyboy & Ninjagirl! LOLOLOL!!!! ~ MichelleB (looking forward to this storyline JUST for the fun-factor! LOLOLOL
  
  Welcome home, Cece! I hope you had fun wherever it was that you went! I like photo # 3 ...................... I can just picture Cece supine on a couch whilst Harmkins lovingly looks down at her and asks "Do you HAVE to wear that Mary Poppins outfit AGAIN? Can't we do the Captain & Maria thing INSTEAD this time?"" ~ MichelleB
  
  
  Spud
  
  Cecila has partaken of a sabbatical from our azure domicile. Before an elongated passage of time, she will rematerialize and resume her loquacious methodology with her posts. ~ Spud and I will not say how long it took me to write those two sentences., 22:17:24 10/07/02 Mon
  
  
  Suze
  
  Oh RIGHT I remember that now. Clapping must give her an awful headache ~ Suze (after being reminded that Katherine’s ears were located on her hands)
  
  Personally I'm *amazed* at what TPTB can do with this show. It has such *depth*. I mean Harm goes to Russia and finds his long lost half brother. Mac discovers her psychic abilities and puts them to good use. Harm's girlfriend runs off with her father's mortician. And now the office antagonist is most likely carrying Harm's long-lost-then-found-then-runaway-half-brother's love child. It's just RIVETING! ~ Suze
  
  "Hello, Security? This is Commander Rabb. Could you please send someone up here to restrain the three ladies in my office? One's running around with a talking spatula, one's holding a leg, and the last one's holding a meat tray and yelling 'Soup's On!'.....yes. Ok thank you very much." ~ Suze
  
  (Suze also has a gigundus GLA’d post at the bottom)
  
  
  Trish ~ 8 points
  
  Well apparently Mac was the one caught with the stubble. Since she spends so much time in her underwear. ~ Trish (in response toCQ’s: Hm... last time I checked, it was the girl who got whisker burn cuz the guy has the whiskers... now correct me if I'm wrong)
  
  MANETTE !!!!! You wontan Texas hussy ! Go put some CLOTHES on. Heaven forbid someone should ZOOM in on your CROTCH for umpteen seconds and see your STUBLE !! You TRAMP !!! LOLOL ~ Trish…shaking her head at the behavior of my fellow Texas Tart. I am ASHAMED !!!
  
  Twin names huh. Evil-Lynn and Darth Vlader, that's russian for Vader ~ Trish
  
  
  Oh yummy!!!! We found flight suits at the military store on Hollywood BLVD. I asked mt hubby if he would consider wearing one. He said" why would I wear one of those?" I said" So I can get you OUT of it." *sigh* He didnt go for it. He is such a fantasy pooper. ~ Trish
  
  I'm a snake...I got me a hankerin' for some rabbit ..... here bunny , bunny. ~ Trish (in response to what was our Chinese astrological sign)
  
  I just want him nekkid. Bare butt nekkid !!! Preferably TIED to my bed. NEKKID !!!! ~ Trish...ahem, was that too forceful? LOL
  
  After all the hoopla last week, with the 'crotch' shot and the 'stubble', the only symbolism I was looking for was Harm with whisker burn on his cheeks. Now that is intimacy, baybee !!! ~ Trish...guess i'll settle for noodles...limp noodles
  ~
  Poor Sergei...get a life dude !!!!! ~ Trish
  
  I can't understand what got into Sergei. Clayton Webb risked his life to get the dork out of the POW camp/prison/whatever. It hasnt even been a year and he wants to go back to Russia. His excuse...he's bored and lonely. Duh!!! Get a life. There alot of ppl who work here in my town on a resident alien card. They also go to school. He is gonna give up everything Webb did for him, not to mention all the time Harm worried over him, to go back to Russia. Buy a prostitute, if you need a woman that bad. Good golly/with extra gravy. He was being a little p.m.s'y last night too. Hell Harmy has done without for how long now and he aint treating everyone snarky. Maybe he is just older and more experienced with the use of his hands.
  That whole story line was really weird. IMHO they didnt justify his going back to Russia, after what it took to get him out of prison. Shouldnt he be worried about going back?
  
  I would like to thank the camera ppl. Nice butt shots last night. Nothin' better than Harmy butt wrapped in summer whites to get the b/p up. Unless its wrapped in khakis, or flight suit, or boxers or....ahem. I just love that butt.
  Don't ya'll? I think he weres boxers under his summer whites those. I noticed some bunching in the back by the ....well in the back.Guess you cant justify going cammando in white pants.
  
  Anyone else hoping they dont center the Christmas show, 'When The Bough Breaks', around Singer. SNOOZE !!!
  
  I'm hoping Harm and Mac go to visit Granny Rabb and Harm has a tree house from when he was little. They get cozy and the tree house starts rockin'. They're a moanin' and WHAM!!!! the bough breaks. TraLa. Good Christmas ep/ with a little sex thrown in.
  
  Okay, i've taken up enough board space, talk amongst yerselves.
  ~
  
  
  Suze
  
  'Twas the hour of JAG -- Suze
  
  ‘Twas the hour of Critical Condition and all through voy.com,
  Not a poster was posting; not even CatMom.
  Thousands of tapes were set in the VCRs with care
  In hopes than an episode worth taping would appear on the air.
  
  We sat snug on our couches, too awake for our beds
  As visions on Harmkins danced through our heads.
  The doorbells disconnected, the phones off the hook,
  Frozen dinners for all so we wouldn’t have to cook.
  
  When on the TV there arose such a clatter,
  I sprang from my couch to see what was the matter.
  I called the next-door neighbor to see what was about.
  Her TV was fuzzy too—the cable was out!
  
  Anyone walking outside on the new fallen leaves
  Would have heard my shouts, my cries, and my sobbing heaves.
  When at the window what did my eyes meet?
  A shiny minivan, parked out on the street.
  
  If the man inside were Santa, he would have been fatter.
  This man carried a wire and what was that? A ladder?
  It was then that I knew whom I saw with my eye.
  It was none other than my own cable guy!
  
  He said you’ll get to see Bud and the hand-holding too
  Just grab some chocolate and wait. I know what to do.
  But I thought as he climbed up the ladder so tall
  Oh goodness, oh my lands, oh goodness, don’t fall!
  
  Like the birds who overhead in the spring fly,
  His strong figure was silhouetted against the night sky.
  And into my heart newfound hope flew.
  I thought of AJ and Harriet and of Sturgis too.
  
  The from the roof, downward he came.
  And I thought “There’s someone else who looks quite the same…”
  It must have been a mistake—my sight telling lies
  But I couldn’t overlook his flyboy smile and green eyes.
  
  He looked exactly like Harm from head to toe.
  I shook my head—it can’t be! No way, no no!
  But then he smiled a smile as beautiful as could be
  And said “You know the reason. I’m waiting. Come to me.”
  
  I began to stutter, to shake, and to drool.
  But Harm didn’t laugh—that would have been cruel.
  Oh my GOSH it was HARM. Everything was in check!
  Harm from the courtroom—from the flight deck.
  
  It was chilly outside and he breathed through his teeth.
  The steam it encircled his head like a wreath.
  Then he smiled again—oh my heart be still!
  If Mac wants him she’ll have to go through me she will.
  
  His shirt was unbuttoned—his jeans oh how tight!
  I dragged him inside to look in a better light.
  A quick glance at his six and my jaw hit the floor.
  He began to back up, heading towards the door.
  
  I dropped to floor and clutched on to “the leg.”
  “It’s me you want” I cried “not Mac, Renee, or Meg!
  Bobbie, Jordan, Annie—they weren’t right for you!
  I’ll stay by your side always, stick to you like glue!”
  
  He limped out the door, dragging me along.
  “You’re as bad as those other women—this is just wrong.”
  I cried out in vain as he sped away, but he didn’t put on the brakes.
  “I’ll wait for you,” I cried “As long as it takes!”
  

  [ Edit | View ]
  

  ---

• -- adsfa, 12:56:32 09/25/02 Wed
  
  May I have a drum roll please? It’s time to present the September 2002 Golden Luoodle!!! And the winner is…..Manette!!!!!!! Woooooooohooooooooo!!!!!!!!!! Wait a minute.. what’s that sound? It sounds like…. Naw.. it couldn’t be.. I’m the only one that knows how to…
  
  ~POOF!~
  
  "AAAAIIIIIGGGGGH!!!!" What the…?? Harm?
  
  “Yeah, it’s me. “Where is she?”
  
  Where is who? How’d you get here? I didn’t poof you yet. It’s not TIME.
  
  “I poofed myself,” he said quickly. “Where is she?” he asked again, looking around.
  
  What? Who are you TALKING about? And what do you mean you poofed yourself? Who taught you how to poof?
  
  “I took that Cecilia woman’s class. Look, I don’t have time for this. Where is Manette? I’ve got my Tomcat parked outside in your driveway and I’m in a hurry.”
  
  You took a cl.... She’s teaching CLASSES???!! You are ki…
  
  “Manette! Manette!” he called, pushing past Lu. “Are you in here?! Oh nevermind, I’ll get her…”
  
  ~POOF!~
  
  "AAAAIIIIIGGGGGH!!!!" Manette! Hi! GACK! My LANDS that’s unsettling!
  
  “Lu!” exclaimed Manette.
  
  Yes?
  
  “Move!” she said, grabbing Lu by the shoulders and helping her aside.
  
  “Manette!” Harm called once again. “Come to me. You know the reason.”
  
  “Oh yeah!” Manette answered breathlessly.
  
  “Manette, what do you say we find ourselves a little island all to ourselves,” suggested the dashing Commander. “Just me and you?”
  
  “I’m ready, Lover. !!!!!!” Manette squealed happily. “WHEN do we leave?!”
  
  “Now, baby. Right now!” Harm answered. Then looking over Manette’s shoulder, “Lu… it’s been… whatever. Chow, baby.”
  
  ~POOF!~
  
  What? Wait! HEY! You left your airplane in my DRIVEWAY!!!!!!! You left your AIRPLANE in my DRIVEWAY!!!!!!! Sigh.. Oh for heavens SAKE. What about the ceremoany? I’ve got PEOPLE coming! I’ve made CUCUMBER SANDWHICHES!!!! Hello? Hello? Oh for heaven’s sake! That was just so RUDE! I’ll take care of this!
  
  ~POOF!~
  
  Oh my WORD!!!! Bad idea! Bad Idea! Gack! Gack!
  
  ~POOF!!! POOF!!! POOF!!!!!!!!~
  
  Well… They certainly didn’t waste any TIME, did they! Oh my GOSH! ….Was that…. PLASTER?
  

  [ Edit | View ]
  

  ---

• Wild Women of the Harmyboard! May I have your attention, please! (Well honestly, “Ladies and Gentlemen?” I don’t think so….) -- Luoodles, 15:52:45 09/18/02 Wed
  
  INSIDE PLEASE!!!
  
  O.K. LISTEN UP! I am pleased to announce the Harmyboard Emmy nominations for Worst Plot Device. To assist me with tonight’s nominations we have… COLORADO!!!
  
  ~POOF!~
  
  "AAAAIIIIIGGGGGH!!!!"
  
  Colorado! Colorado! It’s O.k.!!!! You’re fine, dear. I just poofed you and….
  
  "AAAAIIIIIGGGGGH!!!!"
  
  O.K. Uhh.. maybe we needed a more seasoned veteran..
  
  "AAAAIIIIIGGGGGH!!!!"
  
  Oh good Heavens!
  
  ~POOF!~
  
  Sheesh. Man she’s got a set of lungs! O.K. how about.. ~POOF!~ BRIGITTE! Welcome Brigitte!
  
  Oh Lu… I told you I was going to the BEACH. What are you DOING now?
  
  Harmyboard Emmy Nominations. Cats and Gats and Yowling or some sort of attorney people made me do it. I don’t know. It’s sort of a community service thing. You know… after that unfortunate mishap on the Harmyboard….
  
  Luoodles, you have so MANY unfortunate mishaps.
  
  Uh, yeah. It does SEEM that way...Sigh. Anyway, here, help me out and read these. Hey.. LOL! You could do it in French and really freak people out! LOL.. ~cough~ Right... o.k…. Just go ahead and read them and I’ll poof you back to your beach. Besides, you’re getting sand all over the carpet.
  
  Oh Lu… Give them to me. Sigh. And the nominees for worst Plot Device are: Sergei's existence, Renee's dead Dad, and Psychic Mac. And the winner is……Renee’s Dead Dad. Accepting the award tonight is none other then.. uh.. none other then.. Lu, who IS this person??
  
  It’s the actor that played Renee’s father.
  
  But.. he… He was in the COFFIN the entire time. Did he have LINES?
  
  Well I HOPE not. Sheesh. Anyway, help him up on stage.. He looks a bit wobbly… ummm… Maybe I should poof him here.
  
  Nooooooo….!!!!!
  
  ~POOF!~
  "AAAAIIIIIGGGGGH!!!!"
  
  Oh.. ummm… Sir? Sir? Are you o.k.? Sir?
  
  LUOODLES!! I think you KILLED him! Oh my GOSH! Poof me back to France! Poof me back to France. YOU POOF ME BACK TO FRANCE RIGHT NOW!
  
  Curtain falls as sirens begin to wail.
  

  [ Edit | View ]
  

  ---

• adsfa -- asdf, 08:20:04 09/17/02 Tue
  
  
  Hey Folks! It’s Lu! Reporting live from my holding cell after that unfortunate mishap during Wednesday’s Emmy award. Umm.. perhaps whilst I’m announcing someone could try to get in touch with my lawyer SandyB? She hasn’t returned my call yet and ….
  
  Auurrrrruuuuggg!!!! Auurrrrruuuuggg!!!
  
  Gaaaaack! Uhh… Helping me with tonight’s award is uh.. is uh.. apparently my new best friend “Big Barb.” Big Barb, say hello to the Harmyboard audience.
  
  Grunt. Auurrrrruuuuggg…
  
  That was uh.. great, uh … () Now.. On to the nominations. Big Barb, would you like to do the honors?
  
  Grunt.
  
  O.K. then.. uh.. I guess I’ll handle it then… The nominations for best Shipper Scene are: Come to me, you know the reason scene. Adrift II; Cuddling for body heat. In Country; and the Dinner scene and head bonk. Tribunal. And the winner is: Come to me, you know the reason. Adrift II!
  
  Accepting the award via live remote are none other then… Harm and Mac!!!! Wooo hoooo!!!! Presenting their award is our leader, the RDOL Supreme. Let’s listen in as she gives them their award:
  
  
  As fearless leader of the Harmyboard, and believe me it takes intestinal fortitude to run THIS place, I hereby present to you our most prestigious and I might add USEFUL Emmy: The GOLDEN SCISSORS!
  
  Thank you. Thank you very much. On behalf of Sarah and myself, I accept your award with honor. Pssstt… Mac.. what the heck? A pair of SCISSORS? What kind of award is that? We really need to talk w/ our agents…
  
  “Don’t worry about it,” Mac winked, “and btw, I already TALKED to our agents. How do you think we got nominated? Hey, Judi! I owe you one!”
  
  You better believe it, Sister…
  
  “MY, LOOK at the time!” Mac suddenly exclaimed, pretending to check a nonexistent watch. “Harm, perhaps you should take me home now. Besides, I need to go over those briefs!” she grinned. “…Then I’ll show you what those scissors are for…”
  
  ~
  
  ~Meanwhile, back at the holding cell~
  
  Oh sigh… HOW romantic. Well. There you have if folks. Harm and Mac. Together at last. Sigh. Wasn’t that beautiful, Big Barb? Big Barb?
  
  Grunt. Auurrrrruuuuggg! Grunt.
  
  Gaaaaaaaaaack ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  

  [ Edit | View ]
  
  Replies:

  • Hi asdf!! Just came by to say hi. Check your email. But the forum id here is 19334. (NT) -- Rosie, 13:25:19 09/17/02 Tue

  ---

• adsfad -- adsfdasf, 08:08:17 09/17/02 Tue
  
  Hey Folks! It’s Lu! Reporting live from my holding cell after that unfortunate mishap during Wednesday’s Emmy award. Umm.. perhaps whilst I’m announcing someone could try to get in touch with my lawyer SandyB? She hasn’t returned my call yet and ….
  
  Auurrrrruuuuggg!!!! Auurrrrruuuuggg!!!
  
  Gaaaaack! Uhh… Helping me with tonight’s award is uh.. is uh.. apparently my new best friend “Big Barb.” Big Barb, say hello to the Harmyboard audience.
  
  Grunt. Auurrrrruuuuggg…
  
  That was uh.. great, uh … () Now.. On to the nominations. Big Barb, would you like to do the honors?
  
  Grunt.
  
  O.K. then.. uh.. I guess I’ll handle it then… The nominations for best Shipper Scene are: Come to me, you know the reason scene Adrift II; Cuddling for body heat. In Country; and the Dinner scene and head bonk. Tribunal. And the winner is: Come to me, you know the reason. Adrift II!
  
  Accepting the award via live remote are none other then… Harm and Mac!!!! Wooo hoooo!!!! Presenting their award is our leader, the RDOL Supreme. Let’s listen in as she gives them their award:
  
  
  As fearless leader of the Harmyboard, and believe me it takes intestinal fortitude to run THIS place, I hereby present to you our most prestigious and I might add USEFUL Emmy: The GOLDEN SCISSORS!
  
  Thank you. Thank you very much. On behalf of Sarah and myself, I accept your award with honor. Pssstt… Mac.. what the heck? A pair of SCISSORS? What kind of award is that? We really need to talk w/ our agents…
  
  “Don’t worry about it,” Mac winked, “and btw, I already TALKED to our agents. How do you think we got nominated? Hey, Judi! I owe you one!”
  
  You better believe it, Sister…
  
  “MY, LOOK at the time!” Mac suddenly exclaimed, pretending to check a nonexistent watch. “Harm, perhaps you should take me home now. Besides, I need to go over those briefs!” she grinned. “…Then I’ll show you what those scissors are for!”
  
  ~
  
  ~Meanwhile, back at the holding cell…~
  
  Oh sigh… HOW romantic. Well. There you have if folks. Harm and Mac. Together at last. Sigh. Wasn’t that beautiful, Big Barb? Big Barb?
  
  Grunt. Auurrrrruuuuggg! Grunt.
  
  Gaaaaaaaaaack ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  

  [ Edit | View ]
  

  ---

• adsf -- dsf, 23:49:22 09/16/02 Mon
  
  
  Hey Folks! It’s Lu! Reporting live from my holding cell after that unfortunate mishap during Wednesday’s Emmy award. Umm.. perhaps whilst I’m announcing someone could try to get in touch with my lawyer SandyB? She hasn’t returned my call yet and ….
  
  Auurrrrruuuuggg!!!!
  
  Gaaaaack! Uhh… Helping me with tonight’s award is uh.. is uh.. apparently my new best friend “Big Barb.” Big Barb, say hello to the Harmyboard audience.
  
  Grunt.
  
  That was uh.. great, uh … () Now.. On to the nominations. Big Barb, would you like to do the honors?
  
  Grunt.
  
  O.K. then.. uh.. I guess I’ll handle it then… The nominations for best Shipper Scene are: Come to me, you know the reason scene Adrift II; Cuddling for body heat. In Country; and the Dinner scene and head bonk. Tribunal. And the winner is: Come to me, you know the reason. Adrift II!
  
  Accepting the award via live remote are none other then… Harm and Mac!!!! Wooo hoooo!!!! Presenting their award is our leader, the RDOL supreme. Let’s listen in as she gives them their award:
  
  As fearless leader of the Harmyboard, and believe me it takes intestinal fortitude to run THIS place, I hereby present to you our most prestigious and I might add USEFUL Emmy: The GOLDEN SCISSORS!
  
  Thank you. Thank you very much. On behalf of Sarah and myself, I accept your award with honor. Pssstt… Mac.. what the heck? A pair of SCISSORS? What kind of award is that? We really need to talk w/ our agents…
  
  Don’t worry about it, and btw, I already TALKED to our agents. How do you think we got nominated? Hey, Judi! I owe you one!
  
  You better believe it, Sister…
  
  MY, LOOK at the time. Harm, perhaps you should take me home. When we get there I’ll show you how these scissors work….
  
  Oh sigh… HOW romantic. Well. There you have if folks. Harm and Mac. Together at last. Sigh. Wasn’t that beautiful, Big Barb?
  
  Grunt.
  
  Gack!
  

  [ Edit | View ]
  

  ---

• Golden Luoodle Attempt No. 438 -- Lu, 21:39:14 09/16/02 Mon
  
  
  
  May I have a drum roll please!!! We hereby present the July.. no.. now it’s August WHOOPS nope SEPTEMBER! The September 2002 Golden Luoodle Award to..... HEATHER!!!!! Wooooo Hoooooo!!!!!!
  
  In case some of the Newbies don't know, Heather has been around and posting since before most of us even heard of a JAG board. She's a non-shipper but we try not to hold that against her. Well...o.k. Judi MAKES us not hold that against her.... Anyway, her vocation is "domestic goddess" but fortunately for us she's also a JAG fanfic writer extraordinare! The last one she wrote over on the Harmyboard was.. well it was.. ummm... well... lets just say my monitor melted! It's not surprising Heather holds the "prestigious" title of Blue Angel #3!
  
  Now, on to the ceremoany!!! Assisting me tonight with Heather's Gluoodle will be none other then Trish!! Come on out, Trish!
  
  Whooooo baybee!!! Heather is heading down Love Muff-in Lane tonight! Yum Yum Alert!!! YAWZA!! They're gonna be doin' the WILD thang! Oh mama, oh mama!
  
  Trish!
  
  What?!
  
  Goodbye, Trish.
  
  Awwwwww...... Come on, Lu. I'm just having fun!
  
  Out. Out! OUT! I've LEARNED my lesson. Scoot. Skidaddle. I'll handle this myself! Sheesh.
  
  ~ BEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPP!!!!! ~
  
  Wait. What's that coming across the monitor? Wait. Everyone be quiet! There's a special news bulletin! Trish, turn up the t.v. on your way out, dear.
  
  You turn up your OWN dang t.v.! Grumble. Grumble. Tell me to leave. I NEVER! Grumble Grumble. Turn up the t.v. HA!
  
  ~ BEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPP!!!!! ~
  
  We interrupt this program to bring you a special report. This is Sean Havatme reporting LIVE from HBX News. This just in. Heather has won the September 2002 Golden Luoodle. Congratulations Heather! This has been a special live report. We now resume your regularly scheduled Gluoodle already in progress.
  
  ~ BEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPP!!!!! ~
  
  Well for heaven's sake! How 'bout that. Huh. Well.. without further ado, let us welcome our latest Gluoodle recipient to the stage! Woooohhhooooooo!!!!! Come on out, Heather!
  
  ~Sound of things breaking~
  
  Ow! Hey! Watch it, Lady! You're gonna put somebody's EYE out!
  
  ~Heather enters stage, glaring back over her shoulder at the nameless voice~
  
  Oh my! Ummmm.... what a unique hair doo you have there, Heather.. ummm.....
  
  ~Heather glares at Lu~
  
  Psssstt.... Heather, there's this new thing out now called "conditioner" and I believe ...
  
  CONDITIONER! Conditioner?! Look! NOTHING takes this stuff out. NOTHING. What kind of SPIT does that dog HAVE?
  
  I have no idea what you're speaking of, Heather. Perhaps you need a Snickers...
  
  Oh don't start with that Miss Innocent line. I've been around here too long. I know all about you and your giant dog too! That yellow behemoth slobbered all over me and now I have to trim my hair with a chain saw!
  
  Well actually... you know.... funny you should mention that, because chain saw art is catching on! Really! Why I was just at this carnival the other day and this guy took a hunk of wood and before you know it he'd carved that baby into a crocodile! Or maybe it was an Alligator. hmmm.... I always get those two mixed up... Saaaaayyyy... Heather, have YOU ever been to a carnival? Cause I 'm thinking with that hair you could....
  
  ARRGGGGHHHH!!!!!
  
  AAAAAIIIIIIIGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! TRISH! HELP!
  
  Oh... so now it's help, is it? Sorry. I was just LEAVING.
  
  ~slam~
  
  AAAAccckkk! Heather! If gasp gack OW! you wheeze kill me now GAAAACK you'll never choke whheeeezee get HARM! WHEEEEZZZZEEEEEEEE!
  
  ~Heather glares at Lu but reluctantly releases her~
  
  Gaaaaaaaassssspp! Whhhhhheeezzzzzee... O.K. Maybe we should just whheeeeezzzzzeee move on to the ceremoany.
  
  Yes! Maybe we SHOULD. Especially since I've been WAITING for TWO YEARS!!!!!!
  
  Yes, well.. MY how time flies! ~cough~
  
  Anyway, you wait back there behind the curtain for a bit and I'll get Harm. Just be a second!
  
  ~POOF!~
  
  Oh no. Oh no. Oh no oh no ohnoohnoohno!
  
  Hiya, Harmkins!!!!
  
  Oh no Oh no. Oh no. Oh no oh no No no no no... please. no.
  
  Oh for heaven's sake! Buck up! It's been AGES since I last poofed you. Here. Take one of my pills. It will calm you right down. Here. No! NO! You may NOT KEEP them!!!! Give them back! Give them to me! Give. Them. BACK! SWACK! Sheesh. Thank you. Maniac.
  Oh my HEAVEN'S!! How many of these did you TAKE?!!!
  
  Not enough apparently. I'm still here!
  
  Oh my GOSH! How do you feel??
  
  Actually... I feel kind of .. GREAT! Wow! What kind of pills were zay?
  
  They're for NERVES!
  
  Really? I don't fweel nervous at ALL! They mush not work bery well... Wow... howd you get those flowrs to grow out of za wall paper like thlat? Thlat is weally cool man. Hmmm... my mowuth doesn't sleem to be working berwy well. Can you slee my wips moobing? Am I tawlking to yew?
  
  Oh my GOSH! Uhh.. you just sit here whilst I call poison control, k?
  
  Okie Dokie Doodlies!
  
  Heather! HEATHER!!!! Get out here!
  
  What? Where? What's happening? Oh my GOSH! It's HARM! What... What's... WRONG with him???
  
  He took a HANDFUL of my TRANQS!
  
  You... you DRUGGED him? I wait TWO YEARS for a Gluoodle and Harm and you DRUGGED HIM???!!!
  
  Well Not on PURPOSE!!!
  
  Oh right, like my hair was not on purpose either!
  
  Right! Exactly! Now. Stay with him whilst I call the doc!
  
  ~Heather sighs and sits down next to Harm.~
  
  Hi! I sure do like that purdy hair doo.
  
  Uh, thanks.
  
  Gosh you look purdy. Have you alwayz had three headz?
  
  Uh, no.
  
  Well, they sure are purdy movin' all over za place like thatphl.
  
  Gee thanks.
  
  ..... ..............THUD! ZZZZZZZzzzzzzz
  
  GACK!
  
  ~ Meanwhile..... ~
  
  Hello? Hello? Poison control? Is this Fred? Hi, Fred, it's Lu again. Yes. No! My family didn't confuse Mrs. Bingo's food w/ their own supper again. No. I TOLD you that was just a silly mistake. Besides, Hubby said supper never tasted better that night.... ~cough~ ANYWAY.. I have an EMERGENCY here. What? Yes. I know I have lots of emergencies. Yes. I know. We're the poster family for Ipecac syrup. Yes. I heard that. Sigh.. Yes. That's nice. Yes.. very sweet of you to name your dog after me. Anyway... I've got a problem.....
  
  ~
  
  Back. Oh good, he's sleeping. O.K. Poison Control says he'll just sleep for awhile and then be fine. Shew! THAT's a relief! Well.. uh.. Heather.. umm... Here's your Gluoodle. And ummm.. you go ahead and take Harmkins home with you. Have him back by noon tomorrow. That gives you two love birds ... let's see... 16 hours! Gotta go now! Tuoodles!
  
  Wait a minute. You said he'd sleep for a while. How long is "a while?"
  
  Ummm... when did he fall asleep?
  
  Just now.
  
  O.K. He should be waking up around one o'clock then. Well. I best be going!
  
  One o'clock A.M.?
  
  Uh.. no. PM... Next Wednesday.
  
  You're dead.
  
  Yes. I know.. HEATHER! I'm SORRY. I didn't know this was going to happen! HONEST. Look.. maybe we can get some coffee into him and wake him up a bit for you and .. Heather? Heather? Heather... don't look at me that way, dear. You're SCARING me, Heather.. ummmm... AAAAAAAIIIIIIIGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!
  
  Heather....moan..... Heather is that you, sweet thing? Moan......
  
  Wha... What? WAIT! What did he say?!
  
  What? I don't know.. I was concentrating on dodging your axe. And btw, do you ALWAYS walk around carrying that thing??!! And where on earth do you KEEP it?
  
  Heather.. oh Heather... take off that towel.......Moan.....
  
  AAAAAIIIIIGGHHHHHH!!!!!! Oh my GOSH! Lu. Wake him up! Wake. Him. UP! Poof him or something. HE'S CALLING MY NAME!!!!! DO something!
  
  AIIGHHHH!!!! Watch the axe! Watch the axe! Like WHAT? What the heck am "I" supposed to do, you... you axe wielding maniac! Sheesh. It’s like I’m dealing with a cross between Yosemite Sam and Lizzie Borden on crack! I'm not going to even MENTION Woody Woodpecker. You are one scary woman, do you know that? I've never seen anything like....
  
  Look. You haven't SEEN scary yet. You get him awake PRONTO. You figure something out and I don't mean maybe. AND MAKE IT SNAPPY!!
  
  O.K. O.K. CALM down. Let me THINK. O.K. How 'bout we get some wire and sort of string him up.. you know sort of like Pinochio? I could...
  
  
  
  No. That wouldn't be good. O.k. Plan B. Harmkins! Oh Harmkins! Wakey Wakey! Sigh. I KNOW! How 'bout you pick someone ELSE? I could poof them and...
  
  
  
  No. O.k. Yes. Gotcha. ONLY Harm. Sigh.. O.K. Ummmmm....... How 'bout this?!
  
  ~throws bucket of ice water on Harm~
  
  KaPluuusssshhhhh!!!!!!!!
  
  AAAAIIIIIIGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! ~ Harms shoots skyward ~ Holy SMOKES that's COLD! Who did that? What happened? Where am I?
  
  It worked! It worked! Oh,Harm! You're awake! Oh thank GOODNESS! We were worried about you, dear. Well.. actually, I was more worried about me.. ~cough~ ANYHOO... Congratulations! Harmkins, meet this month's Golden Luoodle recipient Miss Heather. Apparently you've already met her in your DREAMS. Oh how romantic is THAT! Heather, here's Harmkins! All awake and ready to serve..eer... come... er... anyway. He's ready. Oh MY is he ready!
  
  Dang! My clothes are all wet and clingy now.
  
  Trust me dear, that's a feature. Heather? Heather dear? It's time!
  
  Heather? Did you say, “Heather?” Surely you don’t mean …. “my” Heather? The woman of my dreams? The one I’ve been waiting for year after year lest I dare risk my heart and tell her of my love? In my loneliness I’ve spent my life half-heartedly pursuing a co-worker, but my heart was never truly hers. Not when I knew my one true love was still out there. Now here you are. Heather, Ho Heather, will you MARRY ME?
  
  
  

  [ Edit | View ]
  

  ---

• sfdgs -- fgs, 23:42:14 09/04/02 Wed
  Well , Judi , this is Luoodles, Judi.
  It's so nice to have you back where you belong.
  Here all is well, Judi,
  Really swell, Judi,
  You’re here and now for certain’,
  you're not goin’ back.
  You feel the room swayin
  for now Harm’s sayin’
  “You know the reason,” and “Won’t you come to me…eee”
  So, golly gee, Harmkins,
  find a vacancy, Harmkins.
  And Judi'll never go away again!
  
  Well , Judi , this is Luoodles, Judi.
  With some things to know before you take a look see
  It wasn’t me, Judi
  Please let me be, Judi
  I tried to warn about Crosby
  You didn’t listen to me
  
  We’re glad you’re back, Judi
  Now we’re on track, Judi
  Plus all the shippers need you to help us to brea eeeeeeeeth
  So, rest your mind, Judi
  Here we can all go blind, Judi,
  The Harmyboard is the place to be
  The Harmyboard is the place to be
  The Harmyboard is the place to be YIPEE!
  
  WELCOME
  
  

  [ Edit | View ]
  

  ---

• fdsaf -- adsf, 20:02:09 09/01/02 Sun
  Well , Tracy, this is Luoodles, Tracy.
  It's so nice to have you here where you belong.
  Here all is well, Tracy,
  Really swell, Tracy,
  You’ve delurked and now for certain’,
  you're not goin’ back.
  You feel the room swayin
  for now Harm’s sayin’
  “You know the reason,” and “Won’t you come to me…eee”
  So, golly gee, Harmkins,
  find a vacancy, Harmkins.
  And Tracy'll never go away again!
  
  Well , Tracy, this is Luoodles, Tracy.
  With some things to know before you begin
  I am the Sane One, Tracy.
  Beware the others, Tracy
  Just smile and nod and then run
  you’ll be doing swell.
  We love your stories, Tracy
  Oh yes, no worries, Tracy
  We all observe strict copy write policy-eeees
  So, stick with us, Tracy,
  Here there’s no fret or fuss, Tracy,
  The Harmyboard is the place to be
  The Harmyboard is the place to be
  The Harmyboard is the place to be you’ll see!
  
  WELCOME
  
  

  [ Edit | View ]
  

  ---

• dasf -- dsf, 18:43:00 08/30/02 Fri
  WELCOME NEWBIE SHERI!!!!!!!
  
  
  Well , Sheri, this is Luoodles, Sheri.
  It's so nice to have you here where you belong.
  Here all is well, Sheri,
  Really swell, Sheri,
  You’ve been lurkin but now for certain’,
  you're not goin’ back.
  You feel the room swayin
  for now Harm’s sayin’
  “You know the reason,” and “Won’t you come to me…eee”
  So, golly gee, Harmkins,
  find a Vacancy, Harmkins.
  And Sheri'll never go away again!
  
  
  
  
  WELCOME
  
  
  
  
  Well , Sheri, this is Luoodles, Sheri.
  With some things to know before you begin
  I am the Sane One, Sheri.
  Beware the others, Sheri
  Just smile and nod and then run
  you’ll be doing swell.
  We’ve got page 10, Sheri
  It’s a gem, Sheri
  Just make sure you’re sitting down when you preview-eww
  So, get on the bus, Sheri,
  Watch some Untouchables with us, Sheri
  The Harmy board will never be
  The Harmy board will never be
  The Harmy board will never be the sane!
  

  [ Edit | View ]
  

  ---

• dfasdf -- asdfads, 10:33:21 08/30/02 Fri
  Previously on The Mission….
  
  Cece and Judi have just poofed themselves into Lu’s closet and find SK but no Harm. They eventually agree to dispatch SK…..
  
  ~POOF!~
  
  ~SK disappears in puff of smoke~
  
  "Where did you send him, Cece?"
  
  "How should "I" know?"
  
  "What? You don't know where you SENT him?"
  
  "Oh Judi, for heaven's sake. I'm sure he's perfectly fine."
  
  ~Somewhere in Canada SK finds himself perched in a pine tree with some squirrels~
  
  "Why did I ever go to that board? Why? WHY?!" he sobs.
  
  Meanwhile back in the closet there is a sound outside the door. SOMEONE IS COMING!!!!!
  THE MISSION
  ~Chapter 9~
  
  ~Looks of abject terror spread across their faces as the closet door creaked slowly open~
  
  A beautiful young woman stood in the doorway dressed in a stunning negligee, the mere sight of just her silhouette at once causing the other two women to groan with envy. They recognized her immediately. “CHAR! What are YOU doing here?” they asked.
  
  “I'm a trauma nurse,” the vision of beauty purred, tossing her head to flip an errant strand of long golden tress away from her cerulean eyes. “I heard there is an injury in here!”
  
  “What? Who?” they asked, heads bowed in reverence to this embodiment of grace and beauty.
  
  “Why Harmkins of course. He’s up there on that top shelf!” her melodious voice all but sang the words.
  
  “Wow! You must be psychic!” Judi exclaimed.
  
  “Oh yes, dear. I’m psychic for Harm!” she said as she entered the closet, her perfect, smooth skin glistened in the soft light of the closet.
  
  “Actually I think she’s more psychotic then psychic,” Cece whispered discreetly to Judi as Char glided past them.
  
  “Whatever,” Char mumbled. “Come to me, Harm. You know the reason!” she trilled.
  
  Just then Harm emerged from the shadow of the top shelf. Carefully climbing down he stood in front of the threesome. Judi and Cece’s jaws sagged. Tiny drops of drool began to pool in the corners of their now twitching mouths. There before them was Commander Harmon W. Rabb, Jr.
  
  O.K. Let’s see it,” Char crooned to Harm.
  
  Judi and Cece froze. Their eyes widened as the possible meaning of Char’s request sunk in. Thrilled beyond belief at this happy turn of events, their hearts and minds began to race with anticipatory delight.
  
  “What?” asked a puzzled Harm.
  
  “A bruise was reported,” Char stated matter o factly.
  
  “Oh you mean this small smudge on my face?” he asked. “It’s nothing. I’m fine.”
  
  “I"LL be the one to determine THAT!” Char informed the dashing Commander. “Now, STRIP!”
  
  Judi and Cece clasped their hands to their breasts in an attempt to keep their pounding hearts from leaping from their heaving chests. Dare they HOPE?
  
  “WHAT?!” Harm asked incredulously.
  
  “I must examine you!” Char explained trying to keep her patience.
  
  “WHAT?!” Harm asked again, not believing his ears.
  
  You heard me. Clothes off. Now. Don't MAKE me get the golden Scissors!” Char warned, simultaneously pulling out a boom box and hitting “play.”
  
  As strains of “The Stripper” filled the closet, pulsating off the walls, Harm began to complain…”But.. I don't need to be examined! I'm not even INJURED! It's just a SMUDGE.. and besides.. it's on my FACE. Why do I have to take off my clothes if it's on my FACE? And what’s with the music?!”
  
  “O.K. That's it. SCISSORS! Hand me the Scissors!” Char ordered.
  
  “HERE YOU GO!” Cece and Judi squealed in unison, gleefully handing over a huge pair of highly polished gold scissors. Adorned w/ diamonds and rubies, its jewels sparkled and danced, reflecting in the twosomes gleaming eyes.
  
  Char took the scissors and advanced on Harm…..
  
  ~~~~~~~~
  “Char! Char! Wake up, dear. You're having that dream again! Char, wake up!” Mr. Char gently shook his wife awake.
  
  “What? Oh drat! You woke me UP??!” Char croaked, holding her head as she turned so her giant pink curlers wouldn’t pull out what was left of her hair, all the while being careful not to smudge her acne be gone facial mask.
  
  “AIIIIIGGHH!!!!!” Mr. Char screamed. Give me some WARNING next time, would ya?!”
  
  Char gave him a withering look through the green slime. “You hush! I do all this for YOU. Anyway, why did you have to wake me up?!”
  
  “Well... It's just that I'm getting tired of you shredding my jammies with those pinking shears every night! And speaking of jammies.. Don’t you think you could find something a bit sexier to wear to bed then one of my ripped t-shirts? Sigh. Anyway, no more JAG for you!” he said, adjusting what was left of his tattered jammies. He then rolled over and clicked off the light. ”And how ‘bout you shave those legs sometime this year?” he added, shuddering a bit. “It’s like sleeping in a durn hay field!”
  ~~~~~~~~~~~
  
  Yes, folks, this entire chapter was Char’s dream. Back to the REAL story in Chapter Ten! It will pick up w/ the opening of the closet door following SK’s departure.
  

  [ Edit | View ]
  

  ---

• sdfads -- fdsfads, 21:15:29 08/29/02 Thu
  Previosly on The Mission….
  
  Editors note: Cece and Judi have just poofed themselves into Lu’s closet and find SK there but no Harm.
  
  "Well.. what about SK?" Judi whispered, smiling and waving reassuringly to him over Cece's shoulder.
  
  "I'm thinking, I'm thinking..... Perhaps I can poof him!" Cece whispered back.
  
  "WHAT?!!" Judi nearly shouted. "Oh Cece.. I don't know. I mean.. it was just by accident you got us here. What if you poof him somewhere weird or something?"
  
  "Shhhhhh! Keep your voice down! And for heaven's sake! Where could I poof him that would be weirder then Lu's closet?"
  
  "Good point," Judi admitted. "Go ahead."
  
  "O.K. Stand back."
  
  "Wha..." SK began.
  
  ~POOF!~
  
  ~SK disappears in puff of smoke~
  
  "Where did you send him, Cece?"
  
  "How should "I" know?"
  
  "What? You don't know where you SENT him?"
  
  "Oh Judi, for heaven's sake. I'm sure he's perfectly fine."
  
  ~Somewhere in Canada SK finds himself perched in a pine tree with some squirrels~
  
  "Why did I ever go to that board? Why? WHY?!" he sobs.
  
  Meanwhile back in the closet there is a sound outside the door. SOMEONE IS COMING!!!!!
  
  ~TO BE CONTINUED!!!!~
  
  and now, Chapter 9………
  
  
  ~Looks of abject panic spread across their faces as the closet door creaked slowly open~
  
  A beautiful young woman stood in the doorway dressed in a beautiful negligee, her mere silhouette at once causing the other two women to groan with envy. They recognized her straight away. “CHAR! What are YOU doing here?” they asked.
  
  “I'm a trauma nurse,” the vision of beauty purred, tossing her head to flip an errant strand of long golden tress away from her cerulean eyes. “I heard there is an injury in here!”
  
  “What? Who?” they asked, heads bowed in reverence to this embodiment of grace and beauty.
  
  “Why Harmkins of course. He’s up there on that top shelf!” her melodious voice all but sang the words.
  
  “Wow! You must be psychic!” Judi exclaimed.
  
  “Oh yes, dear. I’m psychic for Harm!” she said as she entered the closet, her perfect, smooth, soft, skin glistening in the dim light of the closet.
  
  “Actually I think she’s more psychotic then psychic,” Cece whispered discreetly to Judi as Char glided past them.
  
  “Whatever,” Char mumbled. “Come to me, Harm. You know the reason!” she trilled.
  
  Just then Harm emerged from the shadow of the top shelf. Carefully climbing down he stood in front of the threesome. Judi and Cece’s jaws dropped in amazement. There before them was Commander Harmon W. Rabb, Jr.
  
  O.K. Let’s see it,” Char crooned to Harm.
  
  Judi and Cece froze. Their eyes widened as they dared to hope at the meaning of Char’s request. Their hearts and minds began to race with anticipation.
  
  “What?” asked a puzzled Harm.
  
  “A bruise was reported,” Char stated matter o factly.
  
  “Oh you mean this small smudge on my face?” he asked. “It’s nothing. I’m fine.”
  
  “I"LL be the one to determine THAT!” Char informed the dashing Commander. “Now, STRIP!”
  
  Judi and Cece gasped. They clasped their hands to their breasts in an attempt to keep their pounding hearts from leaping from thier now heaving chests.
  
  “WHAT?!” Harm asked incredulously.
  
  “I must examine you!” Char explained trying to keep her patience.
  
  “WHAT?!” Harm asked again, not believing his ears.
  
  You heard me. Clothes off. Now. Don't MAKE me get the golden Scissors!” Char warned, simultaneously pulling out a boom box and hitting “play.”
  
  As strains of “The Stripper” filled the closet, pulsating off the walls, Harm began to complain…”But.. I don't need to be examined! I'm not even INJURED! It's just a SMUDGE.. and besides.. it's on my FACE. Why do I have to take off my clothes if it's on my FACE? And what’s with the music?!”
  
  “O.K. That's it. SCISSORS! Hand me the Scissors!” Char ordered.
  
  “HERE YOU GO!” Cece and Judi squealed in unison, gleefully handing over the scissors, thrilled beyond belief at this happy turn of events.
  
  Char took the scissors and advanced on Harm…..
  
  ~~~~~~~~
  “Char! Char! Wake up, dear. You're having that dream again! Char, wake up!” Mr. Char gently shook his wife awake.
  
  “What? Oh drat! You woke me UP??!” Char croaked, holding her head as she turned so her giant pink curlers wouldn’t pull out what was left of her hair, all the while being careful not to smudge her face mask.
  
  “AIIIIIGGHH!!!!!” Mr. Char screemed. Give me some WARNING next time, would ya?!”
  
  Char gave him a withering look thru the green slime. “You hush! I do all this for YOU. Anyway, why did you have to wake me up?!”
  
  “Well... It's just that I'm getting tired of you shredding my jammies with those pinking shears every night! And speaking of jammies.. don’t you think you could find something a bit more sexy to wear to bed then one of my old t-shirts? Sigh. Anyway, no more JAG for you!” he said, and rolling over clicked off the light. ”And how ‘bout you shave those legs sometime this year?” he added, shuddering a bit. “Pretty soon you’ll be able to BRAID it,” he muttered silently.
  
  ~~~~~~~~~~~
  
  Yes folks this entire chapter was Char’s dream. Back to the REAL story in Chapter Nine! LOLOLOL!!!!!!
  

  [ Edit | View ]
  

  ---

• dsaf -- adsfa, 21:04:18 08/26/02 Mon
  Well, Crosby, this is Luoodles, Crosby.
  Thanks O so much for helping me out today.
  You are insane, Crosby,
  And such a pain, Crosby,
  You’re a psycho that’s for certain,
  Oh yes, certified!
  We feel the board swayin’
  and now Judi’s sayin’
  What have I done?! I should have listened to Lu-oooo”
  So, golly gee, help us,
  She’s in a padded room, tell us.
  Crosby'll never come this way again!
  
  Oh ALL RIGHT. Don’t get your shorts in a bunch. I love Crosby just as much as the rest of you nuts. Here goes. Cros. Your official welcome song… about a year late. You know, dear… when you’ve been here THIS long.. you don’t .. oh NEVER mind. Sigh. I’ll humor her. Poor child. Must be desperate…. It’s sad really.. and who KNOWS what’s up w/ her and those FARM animals…. ~cough~ Anyway… here goes:
  
  Well , Crosby, this is Luoodles, Crosby.
  It's so nice to have you here where you belong.
  Here all is well, Crosby,
  Really swell, Crosby,
  You’re here and now for certain’,
  you're not goin’ back.
  You feel the room swayin
  for now Harm’s sayin’
  “You know the reason,” and “Won’t you come to me…eee”
  So, golly gee, Harmkins,
  find a Vacancy, Harmkins.
  And Crosby'll never go away again!
  
  
  Well, Crosby, this is Luoodles, Crosby.
  With some things to know before you begin (again)
  I am the Sane One, Crosby.
  Beware the others, Crosby
  Just smile and nod and then run
  you’ll be doing swell.
  I’ve got the tart gun, Crosby
  Yes, I’m the smart one, Crosby
  These nuts won’t catch me with all my poofing skills
  So, stick with me, Crosby,
  Share that delete key, Crosby,
  The Harmy board will never be
  The Harmy board will never be
  The Harmy board will never be the same!
  
  
  WELCOME
  
  

  [ Edit | View ]
  

  ---

• adsfads -- asdfdas, 20:54:04 08/26/02 Mon
  ">http://websmileys.bei.t-online.de/em130.gif”>
  

  [ Edit | View ]
  

  ---

• 20:53:30 08/26/02 Mon
  [ Edit | View ]
  

  ---

• dfads -- adsfad, 20:46:28 08/26/02 Mon
  Well , Crosby, this is Luoodles, Crosby.
  Thanks O so much for helping me out today.
  You are insane, Crosby,
  And such a pain, Crosby,
  You’re a psycho that’s for certain,
  Oh yes, certified!
  We feel the board swayin’
  and now Judi’s sayin’
  What have I done?! I should have listened to Lu-oooo”
  So, golly gee, help us,
  She’s got a padded room, tell us.
  Crosby'll never come this way again!
  
  Oh ALL RIGHT. Don’t get your shorts in a bunch. I love Crosby just as much as the rest of you nuts. Here goes. Cros. Your official welcome song… about a year late. You know, dear… when you’ve been here THIS long.. you don’t .. oh NEVER mind. Sigh. I’ll humor her. Poor child. Must be desperate…. It’s sad really.. and who KNOWS what’s up w/ her and those FARM animals…. ~cough~ Anyway… here goes:
  
  Well , Crosby, this is Luoodles, Crosby.
  It's so nice to have you here where you belong.
  Here all is well, Crosby,
  Really swell, Crosby,
  You’re here and now for certain’,
  you're not goin’ back.
  You feel the room swayin
  for now Harm’s sayin’
  “You know the reason,” and “Won’t you come to me…eee”
  So, golly gee, Harmkins,
  find a Vacancy, Harmkins.
  And Crosby'll never go away again!
  
  
  Well , Crosby, this is Luoodles, Crosby.
  With some things to know before you begin (again)
  I am the Sane One, Crosby.
  Beware the others, Crosby
  Just smile and nod and then run
  you’ll be doing swell.
  I’ve got the tart gun, Crosby
  Yes, I’m the smart one, Crosby
  These nuts won’t catch me with all my poofing skills
  So, stick with me, Crosby,
  Share that delete key, Crosby,
  The Harmy board will never be
  The Harmy board will never be
  The Harmy board will never be the same!
  
  
  WELCOME
  
  

  [ Edit | View ]
  

  ---

• dasf -- dsf, 17:19:22 08/24/02 Sat
  WELCOME
  
  

  [ Edit | View ]
  

  ---

• dsfa -- adsfa, 17:17:28 08/24/02 Sat
  Well hello, Kristin, this is Luoodles, Kristin.
  It's so nice to have you here where you belong.
  Here all is well, Kristin,
  Really swell, Kristin,
  You’ve delurked and now for certain’,
  you're not goin’ back.
  You feel the room swayin
  for now Harm’s sayin’
  “You know the reason,” and “Won’t you come to me…eee”
  So, golly gee, Harmkins,
  find a vacancy, Harmkins.
  And Kristin'll never go away again!
  
  
  Well hello, Kristin, this is Luoodles, Kristin.
  With some things to know before you begin
  I am the Sane One, Kristin.
  Beware the others, Kristin
  Just smile and nod and then run
  you’ll be doing swell.
  I’ve got the tart gun, Kristin
  Yes, I’m the smart one, Kristin
  And don’t forget who poofs Harm out and in…nnn
  So, stick with me, Kristin,
  Do a round robin or three, Kristin,
  The Harmyboard is the place to be
  The Harmyboard is the place to be
  The Harmyboard is the place to be you’ll see!
  
  WELCOME
  
  

  [ Edit | View ]
  

  ---

• dsfads -- dsafdas, 17:12:57 08/24/02 Sat
  Well hello, Kristin, this is Luoodles, Kristin.
  It's so nice to have you here where you belong.
  Here all is well, Kristin,
  Really swell, Kristin,
  You’ve delurked and now for certain’,
  you're not goin’ back.
  You feel the room swayin
  for now Harm’s sayin’
  “You know the reason,” and “Won’t you come to me…eee”
  So, golly gee, Harmkins,
  find a vacancy, Harmkins.
  And Kristin'll never go away again!
  
  
  Well hello, Kristin, this is Luoodles, Kristin.
  With some things to know before you begin
  I am the Sane One, Kristin.
  Beware the others, Kristin
  Just smile and nod and then run
  you’ll be doing swell.
  I’ve got the tart gun, Kristin
  Yes, I’m the smart one, Kristin
  And don’t forget who poofs Harm out and in…nnn
  So, stick with me, Kristin,
  Do a round robin or three, Kristin,
  The Harmyboard is the place to be
  The Harmyboard is the place to be
  The Harmyboard is the place to be you’ll see!
  
  WELCOME
  
  

  [ Edit | View ]
  

  ---

• gsdfg -- sfdgfsdg, 17:10:08 08/24/02 Sat
  Well hello, Kristin, this is Luoodles, Kristin.
  It's so nice to have you here where you belong.
  Here all is well, Kristin,
  Really swell, Kristin,
  You’ve delurked and now for certain’,
  you're not goin’ back.
  You feel the room swayin
  for now Harm’s sayin’
  “You know the reason,” and “Won’t you come to me…eee”
  So, golly gee, Harmkins,
  find a vacancy, Harmkins.
  And Kristin'll never go away again!
  
  
  Well hello, Kristin, this is Luoodles, Kristin.
  With some things to know before you begin
  I am the Sane One, Kristin.
  Beware the others, Kristin
  Just smile and nod and then run
  you’ll be doing swell.
  I’ve got the tart gun, Kristin
  Yes, I’m the smart one, Kristin
  And don’t forget who poofs Harm out and in…nnn
  So, stick with me, Kristin,
  Do a round robin or three, Kristin,
  The Harmyboard is the place to be
  The Harmyboard is the place to be
  The Harmyboard is the place to be you’ll see!
  
  

  [ Edit | View ]
  

  ---

• -- Luoodles LAST try. LOL! Take it away Cece!, 19:23:28 08/09/02 Fri
  May I have a drum roll please!!! We hereby present the August 2002 Golden Luoodle Award to..... HEATHER!!!!! Wooooo Hoooooo!!!!!!
  
  In case some of the Newbies don't know, Heather has been around and posting since before most of us even heard of a JAG board. She's a non-shipper but we try not to hold that against her. Well...o.k. Judi MAKES us not hold that against her.... Anyway, her vocation is "domestic goddess" but fortunately for us she's also a JAG fanfic writer extraordinare! The last one she wrote over on the Harmyboard was.. well it was.. ummm... well... lets just say my monitor melted! It's not surprising Heather holds the "prestigious" title of Blue Angel #3!
  
  Now, on to the ceremoany!!! Assisting me tonight with Heather's Gluoodle will be none other then Trish!! Come on out, Trish!
  
  Whooooo baybee!!! Heather is heading down Love Muff-in Lane tonight! Yum Yum Alert!!! YAWZA!! They're gonna be doin' the WILD thang! Oh mama, oh mama!
  
  Trish!
  
  What?!
  
  Goodbye, Trish.
  
  Awwwwww...... Come on, Lu. I'm just having fun!
  
  Out. Out! OUT! I've LEARNED my lesson. Scoot. Skidaddle. I'll handle this myself! Sheesh.
  
  ~ BEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPP!!!!! ~
  
  Wait. What's that coming across the monitor? Wait. Everyone be quiet! There's a special news bulletin! Trish, turn up the t.v. on your way out, dear.
  
  You turn up your OWN dang t.v.! Grumble. Grumble. Tell me to leave. I NEVER! Grumble Grumble. Turn up the t.v. HA!
  
  ~ BEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPP!!!!! ~
  
  We interrupt this program to bring you a special report. This is Sean Havatme reporting LIVE from HBX News. This just in. Heather has won the August 2002 Golden Luoodle. Congratulations Heather! This has been a special live report. We now resume your regularly scheduled Gluoodle already in progress.
  
  ~ BEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPP!!!!! ~
  
  Well for heaven's sake! How 'bout that. Huh. Well.. without further ado, let us welcome our latest Gluoodle recipient to the stage! Woooohhhooooooo!!!!! Come on out, Heather!
  
  ~Sound of things breaking~
  
  Ow! Hey! Watch it, Lady! You're gonna put somebody's EYE out!
  
  ~Heather enters stage, glaring back over her shoulder at the nameless voice~
  
  Oh my! Ummmm.... what a unique hair doo you have there, Heather.. ummm.....
  
  ~Heather glares at Lu~
  
  Psssstt.... Heather, there's this new thing out now called "conditioner" and I believe ...
  
  CONDITIONER! Conditioner?! Look! NOTHING takes this stuff out. NOTHING. What kind of SPIT does that dog HAVE?
  
  I have no idea what you're speaking of, Heather. Perhaps you need a Snickers...
  
  Oh don't start with that Miss Innocent line. I've been around here too long. I know all about you and your giant dog too! That yellow behemoth slobbered all over me and now I have to trim my hair with a chain saw!
  
  Well actually... you know.... funny you should mention that, because chain saw art is catching on! Really! Why I was just at this carnival the other day and this guy took a hunk of wood and before you know it he'd carved that baby into a crocodile! Or maybe it was an Alligator. hmmm.... I always get those two mixed up... Saaaaayyyy... Heather, have YOU ever been to a carnival? Cause I 'm thinking with that hair you could....
  
  ARRGGGGHHHH!!!!!
  
  AAAAAIIIIIIIGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! TRISH! HELP!
  
  Oh... so now it's help, is it? Sorry. I was just LEAVING.
  
  ~slam~
  
  AAAAccckkk! Heather! If gasp gack OW! you wheeze kill me now GAAAACK you'll never choke whheeeezee get HARM! WHEEEEZZZZEEEEEEEE!
  
  ~Heather glares at Lu but reluctantly releases her~
  
  Gaaaaaaaassssspp! Whhhhhheeezzzzzee... O.K. Maybe we should just whheeeeezzzzzeee move on to the ceremoany.
  
  Yes! Maybe we SHOULD. Especially since I've been WAITING for TWO YEARS!!!!!!
  
  Yes, well.. MY how time flies! ~cough~
  
  Anyway, you wait back there behind the curtain for a bit and I'll get Harm. Just be a second!
  
  ~POOF!~
  
  Oh no. Oh no. Oh no oh no ohnoohnoohno!
  
  Hiya, Harmkins!!!!
  
  Oh no Oh no. Oh no. Oh no oh no No no no no... please. no.
  
  Oh for heaven's sake! Buck up! It's been AGES since I last poofed you. Here. Take one of my pills. It will calm you right down. Here. No! NO! You may NOT KEEP them!!!! Give them back! Give them to me! Give. Them. BACK! SWACK! Sheesh. Thank you. Maniac.
  Oh my HEAVEN'S!! How many of these did you TAKE?!!!
  
  Not enough apparently. I'm still here!
  
  Oh my GOSH! How do you feel??
  
  Actually... I feel kind of .. GREAT! Wow! What kind of pills were zay?
  
  They're for NERVES!
  
  Really? I don't fweel nervous at ALL! They mush not work bery well... Wow... howd you get those flowrs to grow out of za wall paper like thlat? Thlat is weally cool man. Hmmm... my mowuth doesn't sleem to be working berwy well. Can you slee my wips moobing? Am I tawlking to yew?
  
  Oh my GOSH! Uhh.. you just sit here whilst I call poison control, k?
  
  Okie Dokie Doodlies!
  
  Heather! HEATHER!!!! Get out here!
  
  What? Where? What's happening? Oh my GOSH! It's HARM! What... What's... WRONG with him???
  
  He took a HANDFUL of my TRANQS!
  
  You... you DRUGGED him? I wait TWO YEARS for a Gluoodle and Harm and you DRUGGED HIM???!!!
  
  Well Not on PURPOSE!!!
  
  Oh right, like my hair was not on purpose either!
  
  Right! Exactly! Now. Stay with him whilst I call the doc!
  
  ~Heather sighs and sits down next to Harm.~
  
  Hi! I sure do like that purdy hair doo.
  
  Uh, thanks.
  
  Gosh you look purdy. Have you alwayz had three headz?
  
  Uh, no.
  
  Well, they sure are purdy movin' all over za place like thatphl.
  
  Gee thanks.
  
  ..... ..............THUD! ZZZZZZZzzzzzzz
  
  GACK!
  
  ~ Meanwhile..... ~
  
  Hello? Hello? Poison control? Is this Fred? Hi, Fred, it's Lu again. Yes. No! My family didn't confuse Mrs. Bingo's food w/ their own supper again. No. I TOLD you that was just a silly mistake. Besides, Hubby said supper never tasted better that night.... ~cough~ ANYWAY.. I have an EMERGENCY here. What? Yes. I know I have lots of emergencies. Yes. I know. We're the poster family for Ipecac syrup. Yes. I heard that. Sigh.. Yes. That's nice. Yes.. very sweet of you to name your dog after me. Anyway... I've got a problem.....
  
  ~
  
  Back. Oh good, he's sleeping. O.K. Poison Control says he'll just sleep for awhile and then be fine. Shew! THAT's a relief! Well.. uh.. Heather.. umm... Here's your Gluoodle. And ummm.. you go ahead and take Harmkins home with you. Have him back by noon tomorrow. That gives you two love birds ... let's see... 16 hours! Gotta go now! Tuoodles!
  
  Wait a minute. You said he'd sleep for a while. How long is "a while?"
  
  Ummm... when did he fall asleep?
  
  Just now.
  
  O.K. He should be waking up around one o'clock then. Well. I best be going!
  
  One o'clock A.M.?
  
  Uh.. no. PM... Next Wednesday.
  
  You're dead.
  
  Yes. I know.. HEATHER! I'm SORRY. I didn't know this was going to happen! HONEST. Look.. maybe we can get some coffee into him and wake him up a bit for you and .. Heather? Heather? Heather... don't look at me that way, dear. You're SCARING me, Heather.. ummmm... AAAAAAAIIIIIIIGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!
  
  Heather....moan..... Heather is that you, sweet thing? Moan......
  
  Wha... What? WAIT! What did he say?!
  
  What? I don't know.. I was concentrating on dodging your axe. And btw, do you ALWAYS walk around carrying that thing??!! And where on earth do you KEEP it?
  
  Heather.. oh Heather... take off that towel.......Moan.....
  
  AAAAAIIIIIGGHHHHHH!!!!!! Oh my GOSH! Lu. Wake him up! Wake. Him. UP! Poof him or something. HE'S CALLING MY NAME!!!!! DO something!
  
  AIIGHHHH!!!! Watch the axe! Watch the axe! Like WHAT? What the heck am "I" supposed to do, you... you axe wielding maniac! Sheesh. It's like I'm dealing with Yosemite Sam and Lizzie Borden all rolled in to one... and I'm not going to even MENTION Woody Woodpecker. You are one scary woman, do you know that? I've never seen anything like....
  
  Look. You haven't SEEN scary yet. You get him awake PRONTO. You figure something out and I don't mean maybe. AND MAKE IT SNAPPY!!
  
  O.K. O.K. CALM down. Let me THINK. O.K. How 'bout we get some wire and sort of string him up.. you know sort of like Pinochio? I could...
  
  
  
  No. That wouldn't be good. O.k. Plan B. Harmkins! Oh Harmkins! Wakey Wakey! Sigh. I KNOW! How 'bout you pick someone ELSE? I could poof them and...
  
  
  
  No. O.k. Yes. Gotcha. ONLY Harm. Sigh.. O.K. Ummmmm....... How 'bout this?!
  ~ Lu throws bucket of ice water on Harm~
  KaPluuusssshhhhh!!!!!!!!
  
  AAAAIIIIIIGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! ~ Harms shoots skyward ~ Holy SMOKES that's COLD! Who did that? What happened? Where am I?
  
  It worked! It worked! Oh,Harm! You're awake! Oh thank GOODNESS! We were worried about you, dear. Well.. actually, I was more worried about me.. ~cough~ ANYHOO... Congratulations! Harmkins, meet this month's Golden Luoodle recipient Miss Heather. Apparently you've already met in your DREAMS. Oh how romantic is THAT! Heather, here's Harmkins! All awake and ready to serve..eer... come... er... anyway. He's ready. Oh MY is he ready!
  
  But my clothes are all wet and clingy now.
  
  Trust me dear, that's a feature. Heather? Heather dear? It's time!
  

  [ Edit | View ]
  

  ---

• kjhlk -- kjhlkj, 08:19:37 05/29/02 Wed
  
  The Mission, part 8
  From the shadows of the closet stepped a strange looking man. He appeared to be wearing large lobster shaped pot holders and on his head sat a crumpled cardboard crown.
  
  "Oh my GOSH! Who ARE you?" asked Judi, taking a step back.
  
  "I'm Spoiler King!" the man explained. "I had given up all hope! Thank you so much for coming to rescue me!"
  
  "Umm.. You're welcome!" Cece said hesitantly. "....Ummm... Did you say we're in Lu's CLOSET?" she asked, excitement rapidly replacing any previous fears. "Anyone ELSE in here with you?" she queried hopefully, peeking around behind him.
  
  "No.. I'm alone," SK replied.
  
  "Shoot!" Cece said disappointedly, snapping her fingers in the air.
  
  "There were a BUNCH of people in here," he continued, "but most escaped the last time someone opened the door. Then the rest poofed out when you poofed in. I was up on the top shelf and couldn't get down in time!" Bitter tears began to well in his eyes.
  
  "Umm...I'm almost afraid to ask, " Judi began, "but.. why are you here .... and like this?"
  
  "Well... do you remember when I posted that spoiler puzzle a while back. You know.. the one with all the mixed up letters?"
  
  "Ummm.. yes, I remember," said Judi. "How could she forget?" she thought. The board had practically gone into meltdown. The posters for whom English was a second language had been particularly traumatized, and Lu..... Lu had to be restrained. Judi had suffered migraines (and e-mails) for days.
  
  "Well, Lu poofed me in here right after that," SK continued to explain. "She said since I liked puzzles so much, she just knew I would love this. She gave me twenty-four 5,000 piece jigsaw puzzles and told me when they were all put together she would let me go home."
  
  "But.. the.. pot holders...." Judi gasped.
  
  "Yes, yes, I know," SK sighed. "She said she didn't want to spoil my fun and have it not be a challenge, so she superglued these to my hands. Then she mixed all the boxes... btw, no two pieces are alike ... oh.. and if you put the wrong piece in the wrong hole? It implodes and you must start over. That's pretty fun," SK giggled a bit hysterically, tears again welling in his eyes.
  
  "Oh my gosh," Judi said. "You poor man! How many times have you started over?"
  
  "Oh.. I don't know. A couple...thousand I guess," SK's bottom lip quivered.
  
  "Oh my!" exclaimed Judi, glancing over at Cece who by now was examining with great interest what appeared to be a small fuse box door.
  
  "Yes.. My advice is if you have any spoilers, engrave them in gold and send them immediately to Lu. Oh.. and no puzzles!" he warned. "Apparently she really isn't much for 'games.'"
  
  "Riighhht..." Judi agreed, arching an eyebrow.
  
  "Ummm... Judi... can I see you for a moment?" Cece interrupted. Taking her aside she whispered, "Judi! We are in Lu's closet! The Commander must be around here SOMEWHERE! Plus I just found this door... I say we ditch Mitten Man and get busy looking for Harmkins!"
  
  "CECE! Shame on you!" Judi scolded. "SK is our FRIEND."
  
  "He's YOUR friend," Cece corrected. "I could never figure out those stupid spoilers he gave EITHER. Plus if I e-mailed him once, I e-mailed him a thousand times. Not ONE response!"
  
  "Cece... you e-mail EVERYONE a thousand times. NOONE can answer your e-mails. It takes six years just to figure out what you're TALKING about!"
  
  "Oh you HUSH," Cece scoffed. "They are NOT that bad. You've been listening to LU!"
  
  "O.K. For instance," Judi said. "Here's the last one. I printed it out so I could work on it whilst waiting in lines and such. Yes. Here it is: 'Beloved Judith, In what way or manner of reality are you in existence presently?'"
  
  Judi gave her an accusing look.
  
  "What?" Cece asked innocently.
  
  "What?! Why can't you just speak English and put 'Dear Judi, How are you?'"
  
  "That IS English," Cece hissed. "I was just trying to make it more.. interesting! Oh for heaven's sake! Why are we talking about this??! Let's go find Harmkins!" Cece exclaimed.
  
  "Well.. what about SK?" Judi whispered, smiling and waving reassuringly to him over Cece's shoulder.
  
  "I'm thinking, I'm thinking..... Perhaps I can poof him!" Cece whispered back.
  
  "WHAT?!!" Judi nearly shouted. "Oh Cece.. I don't know. I mean.. it was just by accident you got us here. What if you poof him somewhere weird or something?"
  
  "Shhhhhh! Keep your voice down! And for heaven's sake! Where could I poof him that would be weirder then Lu's closet?"
  
  "Good point," Judi admitted. "Go ahead."
  
  "O.K. Stand back."
  
  "Wha..." SK began.
  
  ~POOF!~
  
  ~SK disappears in puff of smoke~
  
  "Where did you send him, Cece?"
  
  "How should "I" know?"
  
  "What? You don't know where you SENT him?"
  
  "Oh Judi, for heaven's sake. I'm sure he's perfectly fine."
  
  ~Somewhere in Canada SK finds himself perched in a pine tree with some squirrels~
  
  "Why did I ever go to that board? Why? WHY?!" he sobs.
  
  An irate squirrel looks at SK for a moment then drops an acorn on his head. SK wakes up at home in his nice soft warm beddie. It was all just a bad dream. (Well.. I didn't want to traumatize the poor man too badly. LOL!)
  
  Meanwhile back in the closet there is a sound outside the door. SOMEONE IS COMING!!!!!
  
  ~TO BE CONTINUED!!!!~
  

  [ Edit | View ]
  

  ---

• lhk;kj -- ljkhl, 10:23:15 05/16/02 Thu
  May I have a drum roll please! The winner of this month's Golden Luoodle is none other then..... TRISH! Trish won the Gluoodle for her "IT IS A CONSPIRACY!!!" post following "In Country," when poor Commander Winkie was denied er.. access once again. I am STILL laughing.
  
  To refresh your memories, here it is:
  
  ----------
  
  
  IT IS A CONSPIRACY!!! -- Trish
  Oh!. The torture. Poor Commander Winkie. Ifnot for the bombs, aaahhhh!!! Just a few more seconds and he could have been strolling the banks of Love Muffin Lane, Did ya'll see where Harm put his leg? Dont you know I would have been tucking my hands betwixt that hot spot. Even out in the boonies the Wink-meister cant catch a break. Bombus interuptus!!!Mac was so wanting to let the big boy out for some air. I'm afraid it will be a loooong hard summer for our dear Commander... with no relief in sight.This is just tooo sad. I DEMAND the right to BARE HARM. Okay ladies..ahem er um.. okay harmy boarders...all together now. Free Cmdr Winkie, Free Cmdr Winkie.
  
  OOPS!! HOT FLASH!!! TTTHHHUUUDDD!
  
  ----------
  
  
  So with out further ado I hereby present Trish with her very first GOLDEN LUOODLE. Inside for the ceremoany. WWWWOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! Assisting me with tonight's presentation is none other then CatQuack! She will be standing by at all times with two copies of Black Jet, several sacks of M&M's, and if necessary, IV chocolate. She is also CAREFULLY guarding the newly restored Golden Luoodle statue. Are we ready CatQuack?
  
  ~POOF!~
  
  Welcome Trish!!!!
  
  AAAAAIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
  
  Trish! Trish! It's ME! Luoodles!
  
  AAAAAIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
  
  Well.. that wasn't the calming effect I was hoping for... ummmm.... CatQuack. Assistance! Yes, just throw some M&M's in her mouth next time she scr... Oh my GOSH! They're all... they're all... What is that ...stuff on them?! Gack! DON'T give her THOSE! Don't give her...
  
  ~too late~
  
  Cough weeeezzzeeee chhhhhhzzzzzaccck!!! Gchhhhhhzzzzzaccck!!!
  
  Trish! Trish! Are you all right? Oh my GOSH! CatQuack!!! What was on the...What? CAT HAIR?! Oh my gosh!
  
  Cough weeeezzzeeee chhhhhhzzzzzaccck!!! Cough thhhh..sp sp spppt. ~GAG~
  
  Oh gross. Ummm......
  
  ~POOF!~
  
  CatMom... CatMom.... WHY are the M&M's covered in cat hair? You say you just sat the sack down for a second before you left home? CatMom.. ummm... exactly how many "children" do you have? Oh never mind. I don't want to know. Go throw those things in the trash, buy some new M&M's and get back here on the double. I'm going to POOF Trish back in. Hopefully she's o.k. by now.
  
  ~POOF!~
  
  Oh my GOSH! What did you people DO to me! That was HORRIBLE! What was that thing she threw in my MOUTH? Oh gross.. Ugh.. And.. I have like HAIR or something.. uttthhhh..sp sp spppt..
  
  Oh umm.. I'm so sorry, dear, ummm... I don't know exactly what happened.. perhaps an errant moth flew...
  
  THAT WAS NOT A MOTH! That maniac CatQuack woman shot something in my mouth and YOU TOLD HER TO DO IT!
  
  Well... uhh... Anyway, you're here now and all is well... I just wanted to let you know you are the winner of this month's Golden Luoodle award. I understand if you prefer to go home now. I'll just get your Gluoodle and you can be on your...
  
  Are you STUPID?! I won the Gluoodle and you think I'm going home NOW? To no CABLE?! I want my award. The WHOLE award. Now... where's Harmkins?
  
  Well.. ummm.... I'll just go get him them.
  
  Yes.. you do thatthhhh..sp sp spppt.. Oh man. Anyone got a tissue?
  
  Uh.. with out further delay then....
  
  ~POOF!~
  
  WELCOME COMMANDER RABB!!!
  
  Oh no. Please. Not again.
  
  Yes! Yes! We're happy to see you again, too, dear. I'd like you to meet our honoree for this evening and your date for the weekend. Miss Trish. Trish. Say hello to the Commander!
  
  Hello, it's ni GAAAACCKKK!!! Kkhatthhhh..sp sp spppt... Uh.. Pardon. It's nice to ~GAG~
  
  Oh my GOSH! What's WRONG with that woman?
  
  Oh well umm.. she's just umm... Oh.. don't worry about it. She's fine. CatQuack! CatQuack! Are you back yet? Oh good. CatQuack! STOP IT! Get away from the Commander's leg this MINUTE! Are you.. PURRING? Oh my gosh. Look. Just hand him the Glu... That is NOT my Gluoodle. What do you mean, "It is now?" What.. IS it? A Tender Vittle?! Sigh. Oh.. I don't care. Just hand it to him. Trish. Can you speak yet? Trish?
  
  AAAACCKKK!!! khatthhhh..sp sp spppt.. BWAhaha! Bwa ha ha! Bwa hkhatthhhh..sp sp spppt.. Kill CatQuack. Kill .sp sp skpppth CatQuatthhhh..sp sp skpppth. ~GAG~
  
  O.K. Well uh.. I'm sure you'll be fine by morning. You two have fun. Here's your key to the Manly Arms.
  
  ~POOF!~
  
  Epilogue.... Trish finally hacked up that pesky hair ball just as Harm realized she was in fact the most beautiful woman he'd ever encountered. After strolling the banks of Love Muffin Lane Trish demanded the right to bare Harm. He then whisked her off to the Manly Arms Honeymoon Suite where he introduced her to Commander Winkie. And they all lived happily ever after.
  

  [ Edit | View ]
  

  ---

• Cecilia!!!!!! Twenty One today. Oh.. she's so young and innocent! Oh my oh my oh my! For your birthday gift we have a special Harmkins surprise JUST for you!!! Yes indeedy!!! May I have a drumroll please? -- ty, 07:40:24 05/13/02 Mon
  
  O.K. EVERYBODY OUT OF THE CLOSET EXCEPT HARMKINS AND CECILIA! Come on. EVERYONE out! Let's go. We're wasting precious closet time here. Keep moving. Form a line along the hallway. Yes, Judi, you too. ESPECIALLY you. Out, out, OUT!
  
  Now then, here's a key. See that little door inside the closet? It looks like a fuse box. Well, it isn't. Use this key and.. well... you two just have fun.
  
  Harm immediately attempts to put his key in the lock. "Oh, you mean the OTHER lock and key!" he says sheepishly and finally opens the door. Before their very eyes is none other then..... A SECRET DOORWAY LEADING TO THE MANLY ARMS HOTEL BIRTHDAY SUITE!!!!! It's the GRAND OPENING!!! ESPECIALLY for Cecilia's birthday!!! Oh my.. She's BLUSHING folks! Oh how CUTE!
  
  Now.. you two have fun. Don't worry about these other folks. I'll keep them safely on the linen shelves. You two just enjoy.
  
  HAPPY BIRTHDAY CECILIA!!!!!!!
  

  [ Edit | View ]
  

  ---

• Golden Luoodle -- Luoodles, 16:41:21 04/30/02 Tue
  
  
  
  Thank you Kris N. Reine for the fabulous collage!!!!
  (Kris made this out of the goodness of her heart. She had no clue who I was and certainly no idea about what a Gluoodle might be.)
  
  Thank you Rose Garden Kathy for contacting Kris and assuring her I was not dangerous!
  Thank you Cece for the good advice that I tried (unsucessfully for the most part) to follow.
  Thank you Dancer for writing the Manly Arms scene!! WooooHooooo!!! I'm sure Brigitte is thanking you too!
  
  And now, with out further ado......
  
  May I have a drum roll please!!! In recognition of all the hard work she has done entertaining us with her fabulous videos and collages, we hereby present the April 2002 Gluoodle to..... BRIGITTE!!!!! Wooooo Hoooooo!!!!!!
  Assisting me tonight will be her countryman, Helene! Helene, why don't you warm the audience up with one of your famous jokes I've heard so much about!!!!
  
  ~Helene begins joke~
  
  Lu:
  
  Audience:
  
  Abby: Oh, that was great! Too funny! Clap! Clap! Clap!
  
  Lu: Gack! That's enough! That's enough! No more "JOKES." ~Crazy French B.A.! I should have KNOWN better~ Helene! Where on EARTH did you hear such things anyway??? What? BRIGITTE told them to you?!! Sigh. Oh for heaven's sake. Just... get off the stage and get the Golden Luoodle ready. What? You say it already looks ready? Oh. O.K. Well.. then.. just leave it alone. Sigh.. anyway.... Without further delay, let us bring out our dear recipient!
  
  Crosby: Hanky Panky Party Palz!! Get your Hanky Panky Party Palz!!!
  
  Lu: WHAT?! Crosby! Get off the stage! You can't sell that stuff here!!!!
  
  Crosby: Hey! If I can't sell this stuff HERE, I can't sell this stuff ANYWHERE, know what I mean?
  
  Lu: Sigh... What "I" mean is YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED to sell that stuff here! Now skidaddle! I thought you were in jail anyway!
  
  Crosby: Oh, that was just a big misunderstanding. Once I showed the nice policewoman my inventory she let me go right away...well ... I did give a few things 75% off but...
  
  Lu: CROSBY!
  
  Crosby: Oh all right, all right, but.. let me just show them this one last thing. It's NEW!
  
  ~Crosby pulls object out of bag~
  
  Lu: What on EARTH?
  
  Audience looking puzzled, tilts head from side to side, then with realization dawning: Oooooooooo.........
  
  Abby waving a wad of cash in the air: I'll take FIVE! Man, this is the best Gluoodle I've ever been to!
  
  Lu: Sigh... Abby, you sit down and be quiet. Crosby, if you don't get off this stage in the next nano second and take your "Palz" with you, I'm starring you in the next Mission ep. Kapish?
  
  Crosby: BYE!
  
  Lu: Sigh.. My head hurts.... O.K. Let's continue on, shall we? Helene, do you have Brigitte yet? Good, send her on out. Brigitte! Congratulations! You've won the Gluoodle!!!!
  
  Brigitte: AAAAAIIIIIIIGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
  
  Luoodles wincing: Oh no. Not again. Brigitte, you simply MUST calm down. You must! Now remember what happened last time? Do you want that again?
  
  ~Brigitte shakes her head sadly~
  
  O.k. then! Now. Pull yourself together. I'm about to poof in the Commander. Can you control yourself? Yes? O.K. I'm trusting you... Helene, did you frisk her for irons like I told you? Never mind, "Why." Go look in the GLA archive if you really want to know. Now, did you do it? O.K. Good.
  
  POOF!
  
  Commander: AAAAAAAIIIIIIIGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
  
  Lu jumping: GACK!!!!! I WISH you people would stop this SCREAMING all the time! I am getting so NERVOUS!
  
  Commander: Sorry. I still haven't quite gotten used to this poofing business.
  
  Lu: Yes, well... You don't have any aspirin on you, do you?
  
  Commander: No. I took them all as soon as I got here.
  
  Lu: Sigh.. Anyway, are you ready?
  
  Commander: I suppose. I've just sort of resigned myself to the fact that I have these psychotic episodes. I know if I stay calm, it will all be over soon and I will be back in my office, you will be gone, and all will be well.
  
  Lu: Uhh... yeah. ANYWAY. This evening you will be presenting to Miss Brigitte.
  
  Harm: You mean that lunatic with the IRON?! Are you insane! Look at this print she put on my head! YOU said it would go away but it's been a YEAR! I think she had it on PERMANENT PRESS! I'm not getting near that maniac! No no no!
  
  Lu: Wait, wait.. now listen.. that was ummm.... A DIFFERENT Brigitte.. Yes.. That's right. THAT Brigitte is not here. This is a NEW Brigitte. Just look, she standing over there in the wings. See her?
  
  Commander: You mean the one with the long legs and the hat? Hmmm... She looks o.k. I guess....
  
  Luoodles squinting: Hat? I don't thin... That's the COAT rack! What's wrong with you?
  
  Commander: Well, I was in the middle of putting my contacts in when you POOFED me. I've only got one in. It's a bit disorienting!
  
  Luoodles: Oh for CRYING OUT LOUD! ~ POOF! ~ Here. Put them in.
  
  Commander: Do you have any solution?
  
  Lu: NO!
  
  ~Puts in contacts~
  
  Lu: Now... look again. Do you see her???
  
  Commander, blinking: You mean that woman with the big Party Palz shopping bag?
  
  Lu: WHAT?! Helene!!! Sigh..... No! The OTHER woman....
  
  Commander: Well... surely you can't mean..... No. I couldn't hope... Do you mean that vision of beauty standing next to the curtain?
  
  Lu: Uhh... well... she IS standing next to the curtain! I don't know about that vision of beauty thing.. You sure you have those contacts in? Maybe I should get you some of that solution stuff after all.
  
  But Harm wasn't listening. His thoughts, his heart, his very soul was focused on Brigitte. "Come to me, Brigitte. You know the reason," said Harm, reaching out his hand toward her. Brigitte all but floated across the stage and into his arms.
  
  As they gazed deeply into each other's eyes, Luoodles continued: Helene, would you come out and tell the lovely couple about their Gluoodle Prize package please? Helene? Helene?
  
  ~Helene sobbing in the corner... ~ He saw ME first! He wanted ME first!
  
  Lu: Oh for heaven's sake! He wanted the COAT rack first. Get out here and tell them about their award. And bring the Gluoodle with you! What? Stop CRYING! I can't underSTAND you! What do you mean it's not exactly the Gluoodle anymore? What are you talking about? Crosby!!! She did WHAT? She "accesorized" it. WHAT!? How do you accesorize a Glu....
  
  
  
  Put it back! Put it BACK IN THE BOX!
  
  Helene... Come here, dear. Yes. You. Come here. Helene, HOW did Crosby get hold of the Gluoodle?
  
  Helene: It's not my FAULT! It's not my FAULT! She.. she... well...She said she just wanted to see it for a moment.. and that.. she would... give me 10% off anything I bought and... I.. I.... It's not my FAULT! I'm a VICTIM!
  
  Lu: Sigh. Oh, NEVERMIND! Folks, we'll get this sorted out. Anyway, Harm, Brigitte, here's a key to the Honeymoon suite at the Manly Arms, compliments of Dancer.
  
  Harm couldn’t believe his luck. That crazy woman with the POOFing thing had finally POOFed him somewhere he wanted to go.
  
  Brigitte, astonished: What’s THIS? A credit card?
  
  Commander: Maybe it’s the key. It says “Special Guest Pass!”
  
  Brigitte: Ooohh! Look at all the pretty rainbow colors – like the back of a CD.
  
  Commander: What’s in that bag?
  
  Brigitte: I don’t know. Luoodles just gave it to me with the passes.
  
  Commander: Hey. Look HERE. It’s full of these little PACKETS!. . .They’re all different colors.
  
  Brigitte: What are they?
  
  Commander, reading from label: Oda’s Orange Pixie Dust – Just a pinch on your tail, and you’re ready to sail! ~ [Harm reads further] ~ Contents: One Poof! This product brought to you by the fine folks at Tink, Inc., a division of White Rabbit Enterprises, Wouldntyouliketoknow, VA
  
  Brigitte, rubbing her hands together with glee: Oh, yes, I know how this works! I’ve seen her use it!
  
  Commander: Well, great, but…
  
  Lu, bounding across the stage: No! You CAN’T…I didn’t MEAN for you to have…BRIGITTE, DON’T OPEN THAT!
  
  But, Brigitte had already sprinkled the glittering particles on their heads and…
  
  ~ POOF~!
  
  In an instant, Harm and Brigitte were whisked away to a beautiful, Luxury Suite high atop the Manly Arms Hotel. Harm was surprised to find himself all decked out in formal, mess dress complete with gold cummerbund and white, cotton gloves.
  
  From across the room, he spotted Brigitte coming toward him in an off-the-shoulder, red velvet evening gown and white elbow-length opera gloves. There were tiny jewels in her hair where the Pixie Dust had been moments before. She was a vision of loveliness.
  
  Her eyes enchanted him, her lips beguiled him, and the way she moved made his heart beat faster. Harm felt like he’d struck gold.
  
  As he gazed deep into Brigitte’s eyes, all he could think to say was, “Wow!”
  
  “Et moi, aussi,” sighed the dazzled French woman looking at her dashing Commander.
  
  They sat down to a gourmet, candlelight supper filled with great wine and warm conversation, then stepped out onto their private balcony.
  
  Harm saw her standing by the railing framed against the sea of lights below. “I love to look at city lights,” she said softly.
  
  The Commander whispered back, “And I love to look at you.” His eyes shone with brilliant fire as he murmured, “Je suis enchante de faire votre connaissance.”
  
  Brigitte smiled shyly. “Harm, you’ve already met me.”
  
  “But, I feel like I’m seeing you for the first time.”
  
  She blushed at the look in his eyes. “Oh, Harm, you embarrass me.”
  
  He took her in his arms and kissed her deeply, passionately until she swooned from the sheer joy of it. “Don’t worry, Brig,” he smiled, “I’ll take care of you.” With that, Harm pulled another small packet from inside his cummerbund. This one read “seldoouL Blue Brew – Oh, the things that you’ll do and take someone else, too! Simply cast these sparkles into the air and step into the shower.”
  
  With a squeal of delight, Brig threw the powder into the air, and Harm carried her through the curtain of glitter – that POOFed them into the shower – the real one! Their clothes weren’t so lucky. The water was warm and relaxing as they CENSORED, and CENSORED and even CENSORED once they got their feet arranged correctly.
  
  And so we leave the lovely Brigitte and her daring Commander frolicking happily with her Golden Gluoodle as they wend their way toward. . .wait a minute…Brigitte found another packet. No, you can’t use that one. Brigitte, STOP! That’s the PURPLE ONE. YOU CAN’T USE THE PURPLE ONE! BRIGITTE, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
  
  POOF!
  

  [ Edit | View ]
  

  ---

• Test 4,008 -- Lu, 23:08:08 04/28/02 Sun
  The Mission, part 7
  
  Emerging from the shadows, Commander Harmon Rabb, Jr. stood at attention before Heather and Dancer. His dark hair a bit long and tousled, his collar unbuttoned, his tie long ago discarded. A small smudge or bruise was apparent on one cheek. "I was knocked over here when the door opened," he said. "Before I could get out, you ladies locked it again!"
  
  "Dancer! Dancer! It's... it's.... HIM! And he's got that little SMUDGE thing... Oh my GOSH... I need new underwear!"
  
  ~ THUD! ~ (Heather faints)
  
  "Heather! You idiot! Get up!" Dancer hissed, giving Heather a kick.
  
  "OW! Knock it off! I'm SWOONING here!" Heather whispered out of the corner of her mouth.
  
  "Is she o.k.? Maybe I should take a look at her," the Commander asked taking a step toward Heather, a look of concern on his face.
  
  "Yes! Yes! Let him take a look at me" Heather's whispered to Dancer, her eyes gleaming with delight.
  
  "She fine!" Dancer assured him over her shoulder. Frowning at Heather she gave her another discrete kick. "Behave yourself and get up you maniac!"
  
  "No!" Heather refused. "I need help!" she grinned shyly at the Commander.
  
  "Fine!" Grabbing her by the hair, Dancer helped an unhappy Heather scramble to her feet.
  
  "I'll get you for this," Heather hissed.
  
  "Whatever!" Dancer scowled. "But right now you behave!" Then collecting herself, Dancer continued, "Mr. Rabb...we were sent here to rescue you. Unfortunately we were not informed Luoodles had guard dogs and .... uh...wildlife on hallucinogens."
  
  "Oh. I see you've met the rabbits.. and Mrs. Bingo," the Commander said knowingly.
  
  "Yellow, pony size?"
  
  "Yes. That's her. She's harmless really, as long as you don't run out of Snausages," assured the Commander.
  
  "What's a Snausage?" asked Heather.
  
  "I can't remember anymore... I ran out months ago," the Commander whimpered.
  
  Suddenly Heather jumped. Something had touched her leg! Looking down she sighed with relief. "Oh, it's just a dust bunny. MY look at the size of that thing! Lu's needs to DUST in here! Would you look at this?" she marveled, reaching down to pick it up.
  
  "YIIIIPE!"
  
  "AAAAAAAIIIIIGGGGGGGHHH!" Heather screamed.
  
  "AAAAAAAIIIIIGGGGGGGHHH!" Dancer screamed louder.
  
  "What?! What was THAT?!" Heather screeched.
  
  "It's a dog," explained the Commander.
  
  Dancer shakily climbed down from Heather's shoulders. "You idiot. You're going to give me a heart attack!"
  
  "A DOG!" Heather exclaimed, ignoring Dancer. "Another one? It... it looks like.... That is NOT a dog," she said.
  
  "No, really. It's a dog," the Commander assured her.
  
  "But... it looks like... a tennis ball.. and.. there's so much HAIR. Where's it's HEAD?" Heather questioned, picking the little dog up and switching it back and forth.
  
  "Oh for crying out LOUD! It's the end that barks!" said Dancer, grabbing the dog from Heather, all patience lost. "Look. We've got to get OUT of here! It's almost MORNING!" Dancer said nervously checking her watch.
  
  "Escape is impossible," Harm said matter of factly, defeat sounding in his voice.
  
  "Are you on DRUGS?" Dancer shrieked. "I am NOT spending the rest of forever in this closet! I don't care WHO I'm with!"
  
  Just then electricity began shooting through the closet. "What? What's THAT?!" Heather jumped, watching the light ricochet around her.
  
  "It's the POOFING! It's the POOFING!" cried Harm. "AAAAAAAIIIIIGGGGGGGHHHH!!!!!"
  
  "What? Who's poofing? WHO's poofing?" Heather wailed. "NOT NOW! Not No..."
  
  ~POOF!~
  
  Heather and Dancer disappeared in a flash of light and a puff of smoke. Standing in their place was none other than...
  
  
  w
  a
  i
  t
  
  f
  o
  r
  
  i
  t
  .
  .
  .
  
  
  Judi and Cecilia!
  
  "...and then you just take this Spatula, twirl it three times and ....AAAAIIIIIIIIGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!! Where ARE we???? JUDI! Judi! What HAPPENED?
  
  "I think... I think you POOFED us!!!!!" Judi gulped. "Oh my GOSH! You DID it! I didn't believe you really COULD!!!!"
  
  "Well, me EITHER!" Cecilia confessed. Surprised and confused she looked around her. "Oh my GOSH! Where ARE we???"
  
  Welcome to Lu's closet," said a familiar voice.
  
  ~TO BE CONTINUED!!!!~
  

  [ Edit | View ]
  

  ---

• gsdfgs -- sfdgsfdg, 11:12:24 04/25/02 Thu
  The Mission, part 6
  
  A low rumbling sound emanated from the back of the closet, growing in decibels with each passing second. Soon the sound was rattling lamps and shaking pictures from their hooks. Heather's eyes widened in fear as she turned back just in time to see dozens of people shoot from the closet doorway. With no hope of escaping the bolting horde, she and Dancer were instantly knocked to the ground. As quick as it began the stampede was over, the rumble fading off into the distance. Hesitantly Dancer and Heather pulled themselves back to their feet, amazed to find themselves still in one piece.
  
  "Oh my GOSH! What happened?!??" Dancer asked, swaying unsteadily.
  
  "We were just TRAMPLED! THAT'S what happened! I TOLD you not to open that door! Ow Ow!" Heather complained, gingerly checking her bumps and bruises.
  
  "Was it... BUFFALO?" Dancer asked, still trying to stop the room from spinning.
  
  "Buffalo? Are you DAFT? Those were PEOPLE! I... I think I saw Elvis and... what does Jimmy Hoffa look like?" Heather asked.
  
  "I don't know, I don't know," Dancer moaned. "How many people do you think she had locked IN THERE?"
  
  "Well, I've got at LEAST 24 shoe prints on my backside, I can tell you that!" said Heather unhappily. Stepping forward she peered into the tiny closet. "How on earth could all those people fit?"
  
  "I have no idea. It's like everything around here is vacuum packed! Anyway, what about Harm? Did you see Harm?" asked Dancer, joining her friend for a look see into the infamous closet.
  
  "I don't know and I don't care. I've had enough of this place. Let's get out of here before anything else happens... And STOP breathing on my neck!"
  
  "I'm not breathing on your neck. What's wrong with you?" Dancer asked. "I thought YOU were breathing on MY neck!"
  
  Realization dawned as a giant pink tongue lolled over one of Heather's shoulders.
  
  "AAAAIIIIIGGGGGH!!!! Get in the closet! Get in the Clo.."
  
  With lightning quick speed, once again their adrenaline propelled them forward. ~Slam CLICK!~ The door closed behind them.
  
  "What kind of dog IS that?!" Dancer panted, leaning against the door.
  
  "Big dog. Big dog BIIIIIIIG dog." Heather wheezed.
  
  "Yes. I figured out that part," Dancer said sarcastically. "Is it gone yet?" she asked, tilting her head to listen.
  
  "Ow! Ow! Watch the HAIR!" Heather complained, trying to bat it out of her face.
  
  "Sorry. I keep forgetting," Dancer said. "I keep TRYING to smooth it down, but apparently dog spit is like shellack or something. In any event, people in glass houses and all that!" Dancer quipped, nodding towards Heather's own hair. "Anyway, do you think she's gone?"
  
  "Yes. I think so," said Heather. "Let's get OUT of here!"
  
  Reaching for the door, she attempted to turn the handle. It jiggled a bit, but did not turn. Locked. Turning to Dancer with a look of utter despair she rasped, "Door's.... locked."
  
  "What?" asked Dancer, straining to hear.
  
  Heather tried again to find her voice, "The door is LOCKED," she whispered, barely choking back a sob.
  
  Dancer's eyes widened. "Are you telling ME we are LOCKED in LU'S CLOSET????!!!!!!!" she shrieked.
  
  Heather slowly shook her head up and down, eyes welling with tears.
  
  Immediately Dancer began pulling wildly at door knob, Heather all the while clicking her heels and wailing, "I want to go home. I want to go home. I want to go home. I want to go..." She was cut off by a voice from the darkness.
  
  "I've tried that already. It doesn't work," said the voice.
  
  Dancer and Heather froze.
  
  "Who said that?" asked Dancer, looking around fearfully.
  
  "Commander Rabb, at your service," said the voice.
  
  
  ~TO BE CONTINUED!!!!~
  

  [ Edit | View ]
  

  ---

• The Golden Luoodle -- Luoodles, Master of Ceremonies, 11:41:23 04/23/02 Tue
  
  
  
  
  Thank you Kris N. Reine for the fabulous collage!!!!
  (Kris made this out of the goodness of her heart. She had no clue who I was and certainly no idea about what a Gluoodle might be.)
  
  Thank you Rose Garden Kathy for contacting Kris and assuring her I was not dangerous!
  Thank you Cece for the good advice that I tried (unsucessfully for the most part) to follow!
  Thank you Dancer for writing the Manly Arms scene!! WooooHooooo!!! I'm sure Brigitte is thanking you too!
  
  And now, with out further ado......
  
  May I have a drum roll please!!! In recognition of all the hard work she has done entertaining us with her fabulous videos and collages, we hereby present the April 2002 Gluoodle to..... BRIGITTE!!!!! Wooooo Hoooooo!!!!!!
  Assisting me tonight will be her countryman, Helene! Helene, why don't you warm the audience up with one of your famous jokes I've heard so much about!!!!
  
  ~Helene begins joke~
  
  Lu:
  
  Audience:
  
  Abby: Oh, that was great! Too funny! Clap! Clap! Clap!
  
  Lu: Gack! That's enough! That's enough! No more "JOKES." ~Crazy French B.A.! I should have KNOWN better~ Helene! Where on EARTH did you hear such things anyway??? What? BRIGITTE told them to you?!! Sigh. Oh for heaven's sake. Just... get off the stage and get the Golden Luoodle ready. What? You say it already looks ready? Oh. O.K. Well.. then.. just leave it alone. Sigh.. anyway.... Without further delay, let us bring out our dear recipient!
  
  Crosby: Hanky Panky Party Palz!! Get your Hanky Panky Party Palz!!!
  
  Lu: WHAT?! Crosby! Get off the stage! You can't sell that stuff here!!!!
  
  Crosby: Hey! If I can't sell this stuff HERE, I can't sell this stuff ANYWHERE, know what I mean?
  
  Lu: Sigh... What "I" mean is YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED to sell that stuff here! Now skidaddle! I thought you were in jail anyway!
  
  Crosby: Oh, that was just a big misunderstanding. Once I showed the nice policewoman my inventory she let me go right away...well ... first she bought some stuff but...
  
  Lu: CROSBY!
  
  Crosby: Oh all right, all right, but.. let me just show them this one last thing. It's NEW!
  
  ~Crosby pulls object out of bag~
  
  Lu: What on EARTH?
  
  Audience looking puzzled, tilts head from side to side, then with realization dawning: Oooooooooo.........
  
  Abby waving a wad of cash in the air: I'll take FIVE! Man, this is the best Gluoodle I've ever been to!
  
  Lu: Sigh... Abby, you sit down and be quiet. Crosby, if you don't get off this stage in the next nano second and take your "Palz" with you, I'm staring you in the next Mission ep. Kapish?
  
  Crosby: BYE!
  
  Lu: Sigh.. My head hurts.... O.K. Let's continue on, shall we? Helene, do you have Brigitte yet? Good, send her on out. Brigitte! Congratulations! You've won the Gluoodle!!!!
  
  Brigitte: AAAAAIIIIIIIGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
  
  Luoodles wincing: Oh no. Not again. Brigitte, you simply MUST calm down. You must! Now remember what happened last time? Do you want that again?
  
  ~Brigitte shakes her head sadly~
  
  O.k. then! Now. Pull yourself together. I'm about to poof in the Commander. Can you control yourself? O.K. I'm trusting you... Helene, did you frisk her for irons like I told you? Never mind, "Why." Go look in the GLA archive if you really want to know. Now, did you do it? O.K. Good.
  
  POOF!
  
  Commander: AAAAAAAIIIIIIIGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
  
  Lu jumping: GACK!!!!! I WISH you people would stop this SCREAMING all the time! I am getting so NERVOUS!
  
  Commander: Sorry. I still haven't quite gotten used to this poofing business.
  
  Lu: Yes, well... You don't have any aspirin on you, do you?
  
  Commander: No. I took them all as soon as I got here.
  
  Lu: Sigh.. Anyway, are you ready?
  
  Commander: I suppose. I've just sort of resigned myself to the fact that I have these psychotic episodes. I know if I stay calm, it will all be over soon and I will be back in my office, you will be gone, and all will be well.
  
  Lu: Uhh... yeah. ANYWAY. This evening you will be presenting to Miss Brigitte.
  
  Harm: You mean that lunatic with the IRON?! Are you insane! Look at this print she put on my head! YOU said it would go away but it's been a YEAR! I think she had it on PERMANENT PRESS! I'm not getting near that maniac! No no no!
  
  Lu: Wait, wait.. now listen.. that was ummm.... A DIFFERENT Brigitte.. Yes.. That's right. THAT Brigitte is not here. This is a NEW Brigitte. Just look, she standing over there in the wings. See her?
  
  Commander: You mean the one with the long legs and the hat? Hmmm... O.k. She looks o.k. I guess....
  
  Luoodles squinting: Hat? I don't thin... That's the COAT rack! What's wrong with you?
  
  Commander: Well, I was in the middle of putting my contacts in when you POOFED me. I've only got one in. It's a bit disorienting!
  
  Luoodles: Oh for CRYING OUT LOUD! ~ POOF! ~ Here. Put them in.
  
  Commander: Do you have any solution?
  
  Lu: NO!
  
  ~Puts in contacts~
  
  Lu: Now... look again. Do you see her???
  
  Commander, blinking: You mean that woman with the big Party Palz shopping bag?
  
  Lu: WHAT?! Helene!!! Sigh..... No! The OTHER woman....
  
  Commander: Well... surely you can't mean..... No. I couldn't hope... Do you mean that vision of beauty standing next to the curtain?
  
  Lu: Uhh... well... she IS standing next to the curtain! I don't know about that vision of beauty thing.. You sure you have those contacts in? Maybe I should get you some of that "solution" after all.
  
  But Harm wasn't listening. His thoughts, his heart, his very soul was focused on Brigitte. "Come to me, Brigitte. You know the reason," said Harm, reaching out his hand toward her. Brigitte all but floated across the stage and into his arms.
  
  As they gazed deeply into each other's eyes, Luoodles continued: Helene, would you come out and tell the lovely couple about their Gluoodle Prize package please? Helene? Helene?
  
  ~Helene sobbing in the corner... ~ He saw ME first! He wanted ME first!
  
  Lu: Oh for heaven's sake! He wanted the COAT rack first. Get out here and tell them about their award. And bring the Gluoodle with you! What? Stop CRYING! I can't underSTAND you! What do you mean it's not exactly the Gluoodle anymore? What are you talking about? Crosby!!! She did WHAT? She "accesorized" it. WHAT!? How do you accesorize a Glu....
  
  
  
  Put it back! Put it BACK IN THE BOX!
  
  Helene... Come here, dear. Yes. You. Come here. Helene, HOW did Crosby get hold of the Gluoodle?
  
  Helene: It's not my FAULT! It's not my FAULT! She.. she... well...She said she just wanted to see it for a moment.. and that.. she would... give me 10% off anything I bought and... I.. I.... It's not my FAULT! I'm a VICTIM!
  
  Lu: Sigh. Oh, NEVERMIND! Folks, we'll get this sorted out. Anyway, Harm, Brigitte, here's a key to the Honeymoon suite at the Manly Arms, compliments of Dancer.
  

  [ Edit | View ]
  

  ---

• Result of "Answered Prayers" Speculation Challenge (take II)! -- Rosie, 05:18:12 12/20/01 Thu
  The most insightful JAG's "Answered Prayers" viewer among the posters of this board who decided to take a chance!
  
  

  	Tam.
  	KatRose.
  	JAGfan1, Northstar & Mag.
  	Nicolas S., Karin, LisaR & Rae.
  	Sharon, Acer, JOHN, ScoobieD, PB, AmandaW, Adrienne, fishwoman, Lyn, Luoodles, CB, heather17 & Kim.
  	Frances, annie, peter, Alexa, lilly, Jen, Cinders, MichelleB, Dancer, phyllis, CQ, Danie, Snuez, Jam, C, patricia, LoriD, Lisa & Jennifer NTS.
  	Lori Lynn, Nadja, Katherine, Tess, JenL, Marco, GH, Aurora, Rainbow, Aria & CSM.
  	Marilyn T, Meg, Stomp, cava & Heather.
  	Kawrae (Elfy), Susan & Canrane.

  
  
  
  
  Hi guys.
  
  Sorry. I usually keep a pointer to the speculation challenge thread. Apparently I kept a wrong pointer this time and I was missing 8 people. Here is the complete list. And Katherine, dear, I did a recount but sorry could not do anything this time, hopefully next time!!
  

  [ Edit | View ]
  
  Replies:

  • Questions and Answers: -- Rosie, 05:19:12 12/20/01 Thu

  ---

• Result of "JAGaThon" Speculation Challenge! -- Rosie, 20:26:36 12/19/01 Wed
  
  The most insightful JAG's "JAGaThon" viewer among the posters of this board who decided to take a chance!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

  	AmandaW, Elfy & Serena.
  	ScoobieD & Aria.
  	Kat, Cinders, seldoouL, LisaR, Lauren, Aurora & Rachel.
  	KrisL., Tammie, Meg, C, CB, Cros, Cindy, Kim, Rainbow, SandyB & Patricia.
  	Jen, peter, Danie, Marco, Adrienne, Nadja, Mag, Tess, MarineMac & LoriD.
  	MCR, Dancer, angeline & Jacob.
  	JAG_cq, JAGfan1, JenL, phyllis & cava.

  
  

  [ Edit | View ]
  
  Replies:

  • Questions and Answers: -- Rosie, 20:27:31 12/19/01 Wed

  ---

• Result of "Ambush" Speculation Challenge! -- Rosie, 20:23:24 12/19/01 Wed
  
  The most insightful JAG's "Ambush" viewer among the posters of this board who decided to take a chance!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

  	Tammie & Harry.
  	John, LisaR, WebbWacker, Serena, Northstar, dtm & Rainbow.
  	Mag, Tess, Kat, MichelleB, phyllis, Dancer & JoeB.
  	Jen, Zypher, Nadjezhda, peter, Marco, GH, SandyB & Lauri.
  	AmandaW, Anna, JAG_cq, KrisL., Exleygirl, Cinders, snuez, Lu, LoriD & C.
  	Meg, angeline, Cindy, Stomp, Nicolas S., Adrienne, joyce, GUY ON THE BOARD, Annie, JAGfan1, patricia & Aria.
  	ground control & Brigitte.
  	Canrane & Candi.
  	CAVA & Flo.

  
  

  [ Edit | View ]
  
  Replies:

  • Questions and Answers: -- Rosie, 20:25:38 12/19/01 Wed

  ---

• 2001 Posters' Page! -- Rosie, 15:43:12 12/12/01 Wed
  Hi.
  
  Here is what we have so far for 2001 Posters. Would you please check it and make sure I did not make any mistakes while copy and pasting.
  
  Also I will add more posters until the end of the year. So if you are not listed here and want to be included please let me know.
  
  Thank you
  

  [ Edit | View ]
  

  ---

• Result of "Redemption" Speculation Challenge! -- Rosie, 10:16:12 11/02/01 Fri
  
  The most insightful JAG's "Redemption" viewer among the posters of this board who decided to take a chance!
  
  

  	Tammie & Harry.
  	Northstar, Crosby, Exleygirl, LisaR, Lizard & Lauri.
  	Tess, Rachel & SandyB.
  	Serena, Nadjezhda, Megan, MichelleB, USAF4Life, angeline, Marco, Aurora, Patricia, CSM & LiJo.
  	AmandaW, ground control, JAG_cq, peter, Stomp, Kat, Lyn , Lori Lynn, Zypher, Cinders, GH, Nicolas S., Zona, Dancer, Frances, Aria, JoeB , Snuez, heather, LoriD, JenL & Trish.
  	ScoobieD, Brigitte, Amy, Luoodles, Adrienne, phyllis, C, Canrane, KrisL., Rainbow, cava, WebbWacker & Cindy.
  	Annie.
  	JAGfan1.

  
  

  [ Edit | View ]
  
  Replies:

  • Questions and Answers: -- Rosie, 10:16:59 11/02/01 Fri

  ---

• Result of "Adrift II" Poll! -- Rosie, 09:28:47 09/28/01 Fri
   Will there be any sort of confession of romantic feelings between Harm and Mac in "Adrift II"?

  
  

  	39.0%		No way, first they are too busy locating Harm, then they are too busy making sure he is OK, then they are too buys with the amnesia story, and thus 46 minutes is up. At most maybe there will be some more long looking, but that would be all. (23)
  	49.2%		Yes, there will be something vague that can be interpreted in many ways. But Harm and Mac will get to say a few things about how they feel about each other to each other. (29)
  	11.9%		Another scenario (if you select this would you like to elaborate)! (7)

  
  

  [ Edit | View ]
  

  ---

• Result of "Mixed Messages" Speculation Challenge! -- Rosie, 11:08:18 10/26/01 Fri
  
  The most insightful JAG's "Mixed Messages" viewer among the posters of this board who decided to take a chance!
  
  

  	LisaR, Lizard & Rainbow.
  	Lori Lynn, Jen, Dancer, MichelleB & Lisa.
  	Lauri, Annie, patricia, Tess, Katherine, Luoodles & cava.
  	Harry & Tammie.
  	AmandaW, Nadjezhda, Elfy, USAF4Life, Kat, JAGfan1, JAG_cq, Cinders, Frances, Lia, WebbWacker, Canrane, Cros, LiJo & Lois.
  	Brigitte, GH, Stomp, Marco, phyllis, Nicolas S., Rachel, KrisL, Exleygirl, Aurora, SandyB & LoriD.
  	Candi, peter & Zypher.
  	GUY ON THE BOARD, C, & Aria.
  	JenL.

  
  

  [ Edit | View ]
  
  Replies:

  • Questions and Answers: -- Rosie, 11:09:34 10/26/01 Fri

  ---

• Result of "Guilt" Speculation Challenge! -- Rosie, 23:24:42 10/19/01 Fri
  
  The most insightful JAG's "Guilt" viewer among the posters of this board who decided to take a chance!
  
  

  	Harry
  	AmandaW
  	Kat, SandyB, Katie, JAG_cq, GH, ScoobieD, Lauri, Tess, Rainbow, Lizard, CB & C
  	Trish, PB, ground control, JAGfan1, Crosby, WebbWacker, Aurora, Lori Lynn, Jen, Dancer, MichelleB, peter, JenL, angelica, Snuez, Tbear, Phyllis & MarineMac
  	Tam, Katherine, DonnaM, LisaR, Rachel, USAF4Life, Brigitte, Lia, Lois, Patricia, Mrs. Diet Coke Guy, LoriD & Aria
  	Nicolas S., Canrane, cava, Cinders & Stomp

  
  

  [ Edit | View ]
  
  Replies:

  • Questions and Answers: -- Rosie, 23:27:12 10/19/01 Fri

  ---

• Result of "The Measure of Men" Speculation Challenge! -- Rosie, 23:19:53 10/19/01 Fri
  
  The most insightful JAG's "The Measure of Men" viewer among the posters of this board who decided to take a chance!
  
  

  	MarineMac & lauri
  	Tammie & Harry
  	Kim, Snark Hunter, Nicolas S., AmandaW, phyllis, peter, Candi, Aria, Lia, Serena, Lois & ScoobieD
  	Jill, Canrane, Stomp, Mag, JellO, Tess, Exleygirl, Rainbow & LoriD
  	Luoodles, Lizard, Kat, CMDR Cher, heather16, CAVA & SandyB
  	Elfy, CB, JenL, C, Dancer, Brigitte, KathyB & Trish
  	Heather, JAGfan1 & Marco
  	Oldspice & PB

  
  

  [ Edit | View ]
  
  Replies:

  • Questions and Answers: -- Rosie, 23:21:54 10/19/01 Fri

  ---

• Result of "New Gun in Town" Speculation Challenge! -- Rosie, 09:45:33 10/05/01 Fri
  The most insightful JAG's "New Gun in Town" viewer among the posters of this board who decided to take a chance!
  
  

  	Spoiler King
  	Katherine
  	Tammie
  	CMDR Cher & joyce
  	MichelleB, Aria, Elfy, Canrane, angeline, Lois, Rainbow & C
  	Lauri, Mag, Lizard, Kat, Brigitte, missy, CB, peter, Marco, PB & Serena
  	Jen, Crosby, cinders, JF1, DonnaM, Lia, JenL, LoriD, Trish, MarineMac & SandyB
  	ScoobieD, ground control, Lu, Dancer, Danie, AmandaW & Jennifer, NTS
  	Stomp, Snuez, Nicolas S

  
  

  [ Edit | View ]
  
  Replies:

  • Questions and Answers: -- Rosie, 09:46:54 10/05/01 Fri

  ---

• May I have a drum roll please????? (and a fast horse - cause I'm posting the whole thing outside. It will archive out soon enough. LOL!) This award is for someone too special to hide inside..... -- Collage by Brigitte, Ceremony by Katherine and Luoodles Oh, and if this goes wrong? Blame the Alien., 10:28:24 10/02/01 Tue
  
  
  
  
  
  I hereby present ROSIE w/ this season's FIRST special Golden Luoodle! For all you do, Rosie, this Gluoodle's for you!!! (So I stole that line! Sue me. I'm tired. Plus I'm going to have a board full of people trying to hunt me down as soon as this thing hits!) O.K. Here we go! And 3, 2, 1, CUE THE ALIEN!
  
  Katherine: Hello folks. We are all gathered here to present a VERY special Golden Luoodle Award. Put your hands together for my CoEmcee, Lu.
  
  ~crowd fearfully applauds~
  
  Lu: Why does everyone look so worried??? Oh well. Anyway, Rosie...are you out there, dear? Yes, I see you attempting to bolt for the door. Get BACK here!
  
  ~A shaking Rosie complies~
  
  Lu: Here, have a seat. This is our "special" GLA chair. It's new this season!
  
  ~A shuddering Rosie complies~
  ~Arms on the chair quickly snap shut, bolting Rosie to her seat!~
  ~Rosie gasps and shakes even more~
  
  Lu: Now then...
  
  POOF! Wha. What happened! Poof! Poof! POOFPOOFPOOF!!! Members of JAG all suddenly appear.
  
  Admiral: What's going on here? How'd we all get HERE?
  
  Lu: Uhhhh. Hello again, Admiral!
  
  Admiral: YOU!?!?!?!
  
  Lu: Aiiiiiggggggghhhhh! Wait! Stop! I can explain!!! Katherine! Get. Him Off! Oooofff!!! Grwwacssckk! Wheeeezzzzz. It's for Rosie! It's for RRRRRROOOGaaack;w;k;jl;kfOSSSSSIIIEEEE! Ouuufff! Gasp!
  
  Admiral: Well, WHY didn't you say so?
  
  Lu: WELL IT'S HARD TO SPEAK WITH YOUR HANDS AROUND MY THROAT! GACK!
  
  Tiner: Rosie, Rosebud, A Rose by any other name would still smell as sweet.
  
  Admiral: Tiner, shut up.
  
  Tiner: Aye, SIR!
  
  Lu: Ahem, yes, well... As I started to say before, we are all here for a special presentation of the Golden Luoodle ...
  
  Harm screams and attempts to run from the building. "AAAAAAAIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!" Having no doors, he smacks the wall and falls unconscious.
  
  Lu: Well WHAT was THAT all about???
  ~Before Katherine can answer, everyone gasps as Tiner quickly jumps on top Harm and whispers in his ear~ "Saaaaaave me, Harmkins!!!!" ~Harm immediately jumps to his feet and this time successfully makes a hole in
  the wall. As he runs down PA Avenue and into the night, Tiner follows calling after him~ "Sir? Sir? Did you ever think I would be someone you would have a relationship with?Is this a bad time? Sir? Come to me! You know the reason!"
  
  Katherine: ~stares for awhile in disbelief then continues~ Anyway. We thought Rosiedeserved an honorary Golden Luoodle because, well...because...
  
  Lu: She's ROSIE!
  
  Katherine: Would you mind NOT interrupting me???
  
  Lu: Sorry. Won't happen again.
  
  Katherine: THANK you! And now, without further ado...
  
  Lu: Ask the Admiral! Ask the Admiral!
  
  Katherine: Oh for PETE'S SAKE!!!!! Why don't YOU ask the Admiral?
  
  Lu: I'm SCARED of him!
  
  Katherine: Oh for crying out loud! And stop trying to hide behind me! It's weird. Plus you're bigger then me!
  
  Lu: Hmm. Guess that diet's not working... Krispy Kreme?
  
  Katherine: Oh for Pete's sake. Can we move ON! I've got WORK to do! Ahem. Admiral, would you like to say a few words about Rosie?
  
  Admiral: Darn fine woman. Wish there were more like her over there!
  
  Lu: Pssst! Katherine! How come he's nice to "you?"
  
  Katherine: I don't know. He's a nice guy. Perhaps its because I don't POOF him into thin air when he's busy working!!!
  
  Lu: Yes, but the man nearly throttles me every time I even walk near him, much less SPEAK to him!
  
  Katherine: Umm.. well. Lu. I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, dear, but.. That's how MOST people react to you.
  
  Lu: BWA HA HA! BWA HA!
  
  Katherine: Can I have another co-Host? PLEASE???
  
  ~Suddenly a commotion is heard. An insane woman runs out of the shadows.~
  
  Admiral: HEY! Watch it! Get your.! Wha. CUT THAT OUT!!!!! Would someone PLEASE tell me WHY this woman has her hands all over my HEAD??! Get.. Off. Uoof!! CORPSMAN!!! Get this woman a straight jacket! Who IS she anyway??!!!
  
  Katherine: Oh gosh. Michelle is loose again. Chris? S.D.? Would you please peel Michy off the Admiral so we can continue? O.K. Yes. There she is. Get her. Yes. Her. I don't know HOW! Just GET her off the ADMIRAL!!! Here. Show her this picture of Spock. Just mention "ponn farr."
  
  Ahem. Next.
  
  Mic? How about you? You're smiling and applauding. Obviously you understand the value of our Rosie.
  
  Mic: "Huh? Oh sorry, Mate. I was just thinking that Rabb and Tiner make a nice couple! Why are we here again????"
  
  Lu: ROSIE. We're here for ROSIE! Rosie the Emoticon Queen, Computer Genious, All Around Nice Person Extroidinaire, reason the board is so user friendly, helper to everyone, BLA consultant, Speculation-Challenge Maker, Poll Maker/Taker, HTML rescuer, fire putter outer, bee costume maker...
  
  Mic: Yeah, yeah...I get the general idea already.
  
  Mac: Rosie, have you ever considered becoming a Marine? I could use you on my team.
  
  Marco: I'll join your team, ma'am.
  
  Mac: Hi Marco.
  
  ~Marco faints~
  
  Mac immediately commences mouth to mouth resuscitation. Marco revives. They look deeply into each others eyes and realize it is true love. Mac leaves JAG and she and Marco live out the rest of their lives in the Hamptons w/ 12 children and a Luoodle Lab. (You're welcome, Marco.)
  
  ~Continuing~
  
  Bud: Ah yes. Dear Rosie. I know her well. Here. I brought you a dozen long-stemmed roses.
  Harriet: Rosie WHO, Bud?! And why are you giving her roses?
  Bud: Rosie from Maeve's board, sweetheart.
  Harriet: Oh...that ROSIE. OK. We love you ROSIE!! >cough< stay away from Bud>cough<
  Katherine: Thank you Harriet!
  Harriet: You stay away too, you hussie!
  Katherine: Hmmmmppppffffttt.
  
  Gunny: Ma'am, THANK YOU, MA'AM!
  
  Katherine: Gunny, why don't you >cough< show Rosie your "scar" >cough<
  
  The entire female contingent leaps to their feet and gazes with anticipatory delight.
  
  Gunny: ~unwraps a bandaide from one of his knuckles~ "You mean this scar?"
  
  Everyone sighs deeply. Disappointed, they all return to work.
  
  Lu: O.K. O.K. Show's over, can we please continue? What about the rest of you? What are your thoughts on our dear Rosie?
  
  Singer: Oh I think it's just great. Another woman threat! Just HOW do you expect me to become the first female JAG with all this competition? Anyway, way to go Rosie! ~Then under her breath~ Way to go across the bridge and over the river and way far away from me and my DESTINY!
  
  Webb: It's no state secret that we love you Rosie!
  
  Mrs. Mattoni: I feel..different..
  Mr. Mattoni to Mrs. Mattoni: Who ARE you?
  Entire office and Maeve's board residents: That's what WE'D like to know!!!
  ~Mrs. Mattoni stumbles over to a mirror looking confused and bewildered~
  
  Katherine: Can we just get back on track here for ONE minute???? Please!
  
  Cast mumbling: Ahem...sorry...carry on... Mrs. Mattoni rambling: I don't remember looking like this. When did this happen to me? Didn't I have different hair? I thought..." ~She stumbles away as Katherine continues~
  
  Katherine: Dearest Rosie...on behalf of the entire cast of JAG and Maeve's Message board, I now present you with...
  Hey!!!! Gimme that back!!! Someone help...That mutt BIT me! And he's got the GLUOODLE!!!!!!!
  
  Jingo takes off: Ruff!
  
  Katherine: Stop THIEF!!!!! Mac...dont' you ever FEED that dog? Sheesh!
  
  ~As the cast of characters chases Jingo around the stage, the dog darts through the melee and escapes~
  
  Lu: (crying) WHY do thing like this always happen at my awards??? >sniff< I work so HARD on them...>sniffffff< I should have KNOWN collaborating w/ that Alien was a mistake!!! BWWWAAA HAAAAA!!!!
  
  Katherine: Oh could you please hush up for FIVE seconds!
  
  ~Suddenly, out from the shadow staggered a tall, dark, handsome figure, albeit looking dishevled and sporting a giant knot on his head. Behind him, he dragged Tiner by the collar~
  
  Harm (slightly slurring his words): Did anyone lose this? (holds up Tiner)
  
  Everyone in unison: "NO!"
  
  Whoops! I mean "this!" (Holds up Gluoodle.)
  
  Lu: (runs over Katherine and throws her arms around Harm's neck) Oh thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!!! I love you! You've saved my award! Mwa! Mwa! Mwa!
  
  Harm: Gack! STOP!
  
  Lu: Thank you (still kissing).
  
  Harm: Gack. Get. Oufff! OFF! Stop. Ow, HEY! Get! OWW! Did you just BITE me?
  
  Lu: Oh it was just a little nibble on that little elfy ear of yours. tee hee..
  
  Horrified, Harm shoves Lu in nearby closet. "Slam, CICK!"
  
  Crowd applauds.
  
  Tiner in closet: Hi, Lu!
  
  LU: What? Let. Me. OUT! Unlock this door! Katherine! You ungrateful...(voice from closet trails off)
  
  Katherine (dusting herself off and going on with the show): Well, Ladies and Gentlemen...a big round of applause for Mr. Harm who has saved the Golden Luoodle!
  
  ~Crowd goes wild~
  
  Katherine: OK Harm--go for it.
  
  Harm: Me? Again? Is she going to attack me? 'Cause I'm thinking, "Yes!"
  That's it! I'm outta here! (Attempts to go, but Katherine zaps him with one of her hidden tentacles.) OW! Hey! What was THAT???!
  
  Katherine: What was what? I didn't see anything. Anyway, you don't need to run, dear. Rosie's O.K. She'll be good. Right, Rosie???
  
  Rosie: ~Nods head in agreeement~
  
  Harm: OK then. Rosie...on behalf of Maeve's Message Board, I'd like to present you with the Golden Luoodle Award for your kindness and helpfullness. ~Harm plants a kiss on Rosie's cheek~
  
  Rosie: ~blushing~T t t thank You.
  
  NOW WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE TURN ME LOOSE???!
  
  The end!
  
  
  As the credits roll...
  
  ~Poof, Poof, POOFPOOFPOOF! Everyone is returned to their normal places. Lights dim. All is quiet except for a faint pounding sound. Out of the darkness is heard~ "No, Tiner. I do NOT think you have a chance with the Gunny. NO, not Mr. Mattoni, either. Would you just be quiet and help me pick this lock?"
  

  [ Edit | View ]
  
  Replies:

  • I needed to save this here. Thank you again guys. (NT) -- Rosie, 10:29:16 10/02/01 Tue

  ---