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Date Posted: 10:28:24 10/02/01 Tue
Author: Collage by Brigitte, Ceremony by Katherine and Luoodles Oh, and if this goes wrong? Blame the Alien.
Subject: May I have a drum roll please????? (and a fast horse - cause I'm posting the whole thing outside. It will archive out soon enough. LOL!) This award is for someone too special to hide inside.....






I hereby present ROSIE w/ this season's FIRST special Golden Luoodle! For all you do, Rosie, this Gluoodle's for you!!! (So I stole that line! Sue me. I'm tired. Plus I'm going to have a board full of people trying to hunt me down as soon as this thing hits!) O.K. Here we go! And 3, 2, 1, CUE THE ALIEN!

Katherine: Hello folks. We are all gathered here to present a VERY special Golden Luoodle Award. Put your hands together for my CoEmcee, Lu.

~crowd fearfully applauds~

Lu: Why does everyone look so worried??? Oh well. Anyway, Rosie...are you out there, dear? Yes, I see you attempting to bolt for the door. Get BACK here!

~A shaking Rosie complies~

Lu: Here, have a seat. This is our "special" GLA chair. It's new this season!

~A shuddering Rosie complies~
~Arms on the chair quickly snap shut, bolting Rosie to her seat!~
~Rosie gasps and shakes even more~

Lu: Now then...

POOF! Wha. What happened! Poof! Poof! POOFPOOFPOOF!!! Members of JAG all suddenly appear.

Admiral: What's going on here? How'd we all get HERE?

Lu: Uhhhh. Hello again, Admiral!

Admiral: YOU!?!?!?!

Lu: Aiiiiiggggggghhhhh! Wait! Stop! I can explain!!! Katherine! Get. Him Off! Oooofff!!! Grwwacssckk! Wheeeezzzzz. It's for Rosie! It's for RRRRRROOOGaaack;w;k;jl;kfOSSSSSIIIEEEE! Ouuufff! Gasp!

Admiral: Well, WHY didn't you say so?

Lu: WELL IT'S HARD TO SPEAK WITH YOUR HANDS AROUND MY THROAT! GACK!

Tiner: Rosie, Rosebud, A Rose by any other name would still smell as sweet.

Admiral: Tiner, shut up.

Tiner: Aye, SIR!

Lu: Ahem, yes, well... As I started to say before, we are all here for a special presentation of the Golden Luoodle ...

Harm screams and attempts to run from the building. "AAAAAAAIIIIIIIIGGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!" Having no doors, he smacks the wall and falls unconscious.

Lu: Well WHAT was THAT all about???
~Before Katherine can answer, everyone gasps as Tiner quickly jumps on top Harm and whispers in his ear~ "Saaaaaave me, Harmkins!!!!" ~Harm immediately jumps to his feet and this time successfully makes a hole in
the wall. As he runs down PA Avenue and into the night, Tiner follows calling after him~ "Sir? Sir? Did you ever think I would be someone you would have a relationship with?Is this a bad time? Sir? Come to me! You know the reason!"

Katherine: ~stares for awhile in disbelief then continues~ Anyway. We thought Rosiedeserved an honorary Golden Luoodle because, well...because...

Lu: She's ROSIE!

Katherine: Would you mind NOT interrupting me???

Lu: Sorry. Won't happen again.

Katherine: THANK you! And now, without further ado...

Lu: Ask the Admiral! Ask the Admiral!

Katherine: Oh for PETE'S SAKE!!!!! Why don't YOU ask the Admiral?

Lu: I'm SCARED of him!

Katherine: Oh for crying out loud! And stop trying to hide behind me! It's weird. Plus you're bigger then me!

Lu: Hmm. Guess that diet's not working... Krispy Kreme?

Katherine: Oh for Pete's sake. Can we move ON! I've got WORK to do! Ahem. Admiral, would you like to say a few words about Rosie?

Admiral: Darn fine woman. Wish there were more like her over there!

Lu: Pssst! Katherine! How come he's nice to "you?"

Katherine: I don't know. He's a nice guy. Perhaps its because I don't POOF him into thin air when he's busy working!!!

Lu: Yes, but the man nearly throttles me every time I even walk near him, much less SPEAK to him!

Katherine: Umm.. well. Lu. I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, dear, but.. That's how MOST people react to you.

Lu: BWA HA HA! BWA HA!

Katherine: Can I have another co-Host? PLEASE???

~Suddenly a commotion is heard. An insane woman runs out of the shadows.~

Admiral: HEY! Watch it! Get your.! Wha. CUT THAT OUT!!!!! Would someone PLEASE tell me WHY this woman has her hands all over my HEAD??! Get.. Off. Uoof!! CORPSMAN!!! Get this woman a straight jacket! Who IS she anyway??!!!

Katherine: Oh gosh. Michelle is loose again. Chris? S.D.? Would you please peel Michy off the Admiral so we can continue? O.K. Yes. There she is. Get her. Yes. Her. I don't know HOW! Just GET her off the ADMIRAL!!! Here. Show her this picture of Spock. Just mention "ponn farr."

Ahem. Next.

Mic? How about you? You're smiling and applauding. Obviously you understand the value of our Rosie.

Mic: "Huh? Oh sorry, Mate. I was just thinking that Rabb and Tiner make a nice couple! Why are we here again????"

Lu: ROSIE. We're here for ROSIE! Rosie the Emoticon Queen, Computer Genious, All Around Nice Person Extroidinaire, reason the board is so user friendly, helper to everyone, BLA consultant, Speculation-Challenge Maker, Poll Maker/Taker, HTML rescuer, fire putter outer, bee costume maker...

Mic: Yeah, yeah...I get the general idea already.

Mac: Rosie, have you ever considered becoming a Marine? I could use you on my team.

Marco: I'll join your team, ma'am.

Mac: Hi Marco.

~Marco faints~

Mac immediately commences mouth to mouth resuscitation. Marco revives. They look deeply into each others eyes and realize it is true love. Mac leaves JAG and she and Marco live out the rest of their lives in the Hamptons w/ 12 children and a Luoodle Lab. (You're welcome, Marco.)

~Continuing~

Bud: Ah yes. Dear Rosie. I know her well. Here. I brought you a dozen long-stemmed roses.
Harriet: Rosie WHO, Bud?! And why are you giving her roses?
Bud: Rosie from Maeve's board, sweetheart.
Harriet: Oh...that ROSIE. OK. We love you ROSIE!! >cough< stay away from Bud>cough<
Katherine: Thank you Harriet!
Harriet: You stay away too, you hussie!
Katherine: Hmmmmppppffffttt.

Gunny: Ma'am, THANK YOU, MA'AM!

Katherine: Gunny, why don't you >cough< show Rosie your "scar" >cough<

The entire female contingent leaps to their feet and gazes with anticipatory delight.

Gunny: ~unwraps a bandaide from one of his knuckles~ "You mean this scar?"

Everyone sighs deeply. Disappointed, they all return to work.

Lu: O.K. O.K. Show's over, can we please continue? What about the rest of you? What are your thoughts on our dear Rosie?

Singer: Oh I think it's just great. Another woman threat! Just HOW do you expect me to become the first female JAG with all this competition? Anyway, way to go Rosie! ~Then under her breath~ Way to go across the bridge and over the river and way far away from me and my DESTINY!

Webb: It's no state secret that we love you Rosie!

Mrs. Mattoni: I feel..different..
Mr. Mattoni to Mrs. Mattoni: Who ARE you?
Entire office and Maeve's board residents: That's what WE'D like to know!!!
~Mrs. Mattoni stumbles over to a mirror looking confused and bewildered~

Katherine: Can we just get back on track here for ONE minute???? Please!

Cast mumbling: Ahem...sorry...carry on... Mrs. Mattoni rambling: I don't remember looking like this. When did this happen to me? Didn't I have different hair? I thought..." ~She stumbles away as Katherine continues~

Katherine: Dearest Rosie...on behalf of the entire cast of JAG and Maeve's Message board, I now present you with...
Hey!!!! Gimme that back!!! Someone help...That mutt BIT me! And he's got the GLUOODLE!!!!!!!

Jingo takes off: Ruff!

Katherine: Stop THIEF!!!!! Mac...dont' you ever FEED that dog? Sheesh!

~As the cast of characters chases Jingo around the stage, the dog darts through the melee and escapes~

Lu: (crying) WHY do thing like this always happen at my awards??? >sniff< I work so HARD on them...>sniffffff< I should have KNOWN collaborating w/ that Alien was a mistake!!! BWWWAAA HAAAAA!!!!

Katherine: Oh could you please hush up for FIVE seconds!

~Suddenly, out from the shadow staggered a tall, dark, handsome figure, albeit looking dishevled and sporting a giant knot on his head. Behind him, he dragged Tiner by the collar~

Harm (slightly slurring his words): Did anyone lose this? (holds up Tiner)

Everyone in unison: "NO!"

Whoops! I mean "this!" (Holds up Gluoodle.)

Lu: (runs over Katherine and throws her arms around Harm's neck) Oh thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!!! I love you! You've saved my award! Mwa! Mwa! Mwa!

Harm: Gack! STOP!

Lu: Thank you (still kissing).

Harm: Gack. Get. Oufff! OFF! Stop. Ow, HEY! Get! OWW! Did you just BITE me?

Lu: Oh it was just a little nibble on that little elfy ear of yours. tee hee..

Horrified, Harm shoves Lu in nearby closet. "Slam, CICK!"

Crowd applauds.

Tiner in closet: Hi, Lu!

LU: What? Let. Me. OUT! Unlock this door! Katherine! You ungrateful...(voice from closet trails off)

Katherine (dusting herself off and going on with the show): Well, Ladies and Gentlemen...a big round of applause for Mr. Harm who has saved the Golden Luoodle!

~Crowd goes wild~

Katherine: OK Harm--go for it.

Harm: Me? Again? Is she going to attack me? 'Cause I'm thinking, "Yes!"
That's it! I'm outta here! (Attempts to go, but Katherine zaps him with one of her hidden tentacles.) OW! Hey! What was THAT???!

Katherine: What was what? I didn't see anything. Anyway, you don't need to run, dear. Rosie's O.K. She'll be good. Right, Rosie???

Rosie: ~Nods head in agreeement~

Harm: OK then. Rosie...on behalf of Maeve's Message Board, I'd like to present you with the Golden Luoodle Award for your kindness and helpfullness. ~Harm plants a kiss on Rosie's cheek~

Rosie: ~blushing~T t t thank You.

NOW WILL SOMEBODY PLEASE TURN ME LOOSE???!

The end!


As the credits roll...

~Poof, Poof, POOFPOOFPOOF! Everyone is returned to their normal places. Lights dim. All is quiet except for a faint pounding sound. Out of the darkness is heard~ "No, Tiner. I do NOT think you have a chance with the Gunny. NO, not Mr. Mattoni, either. Would you just be quiet and help me pick this lock?"

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[> I needed to save this here. Thank you again guys. -- Rosie, 10:29:16 10/02/01 Tue


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