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Date Posted: 16:41:21 04/30/02 Tue
Author: Luoodles
Subject: Golden Luoodle




Thank you Kris N. Reine for the fabulous collage!!!!
(Kris made this out of the goodness of her heart. She had no clue who I was and certainly no idea about what a Gluoodle might be.)

Thank you Rose Garden Kathy for contacting Kris and assuring her I was not dangerous!
Thank you Cece for the good advice that I tried (unsucessfully for the most part) to follow.
Thank you Dancer for writing the Manly Arms scene!! WooooHooooo!!! I'm sure Brigitte is thanking you too!

And now, with out further ado......

May I have a drum roll please!!! In recognition of all the hard work she has done entertaining us with her fabulous videos and collages, we hereby present the April 2002 Gluoodle to..... BRIGITTE!!!!! Wooooo Hoooooo!!!!!!
Assisting me tonight will be her countryman, Helene! Helene, why don't you warm the audience up with one of your famous jokes I've heard so much about!!!!

~Helene begins joke~

Lu:

Audience:

Abby: Oh, that was great! Too funny! Clap! Clap! Clap!

Lu: Gack! That's enough! That's enough! No more "JOKES." ~Crazy French B.A.! I should have KNOWN better~ Helene! Where on EARTH did you hear such things anyway??? What? BRIGITTE told them to you?!! Sigh. Oh for heaven's sake. Just... get off the stage and get the Golden Luoodle ready. What? You say it already looks ready? Oh. O.K. Well.. then.. just leave it alone. Sigh.. anyway.... Without further delay, let us bring out our dear recipient!

Crosby: Hanky Panky Party Palz!! Get your Hanky Panky Party Palz!!!

Lu: WHAT?! Crosby! Get off the stage! You can't sell that stuff here!!!!

Crosby: Hey! If I can't sell this stuff HERE, I can't sell this stuff ANYWHERE, know what I mean?

Lu: Sigh... What "I" mean is YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED to sell that stuff here! Now skidaddle! I thought you were in jail anyway!

Crosby: Oh, that was just a big misunderstanding. Once I showed the nice policewoman my inventory she let me go right away...well ... I did give a few things 75% off but...

Lu: CROSBY!

Crosby: Oh all right, all right, but.. let me just show them this one last thing. It's NEW!

~Crosby pulls object out of bag~

Lu: What on EARTH?

Audience looking puzzled, tilts head from side to side, then with realization dawning: Oooooooooo.........

Abby waving a wad of cash in the air: I'll take FIVE! Man, this is the best Gluoodle I've ever been to!

Lu: Sigh... Abby, you sit down and be quiet. Crosby, if you don't get off this stage in the next nano second and take your "Palz" with you, I'm starring you in the next Mission ep. Kapish?

Crosby: BYE!

Lu: Sigh.. My head hurts.... O.K. Let's continue on, shall we? Helene, do you have Brigitte yet? Good, send her on out. Brigitte! Congratulations! You've won the Gluoodle!!!!

Brigitte: AAAAAIIIIIIIGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

Luoodles wincing: Oh no. Not again. Brigitte, you simply MUST calm down. You must! Now remember what happened last time? Do you want that again?

~Brigitte shakes her head sadly~

O.k. then! Now. Pull yourself together. I'm about to poof in the Commander. Can you control yourself? Yes? O.K. I'm trusting you... Helene, did you frisk her for irons like I told you? Never mind, "Why." Go look in the GLA archive if you really want to know. Now, did you do it? O.K. Good.

POOF!

Commander: AAAAAAAIIIIIIIGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Lu jumping: GACK!!!!! I WISH you people would stop this SCREAMING all the time! I am getting so NERVOUS!

Commander: Sorry. I still haven't quite gotten used to this poofing business.

Lu: Yes, well... You don't have any aspirin on you, do you?

Commander: No. I took them all as soon as I got here.

Lu: Sigh.. Anyway, are you ready?

Commander: I suppose. I've just sort of resigned myself to the fact that I have these psychotic episodes. I know if I stay calm, it will all be over soon and I will be back in my office, you will be gone, and all will be well.

Lu: Uhh... yeah. ANYWAY. This evening you will be presenting to Miss Brigitte.

Harm: You mean that lunatic with the IRON?! Are you insane! Look at this print she put on my head! YOU said it would go away but it's been a YEAR! I think she had it on PERMANENT PRESS! I'm not getting near that maniac! No no no!

Lu: Wait, wait.. now listen.. that was ummm.... A DIFFERENT Brigitte.. Yes.. That's right. THAT Brigitte is not here. This is a NEW Brigitte. Just look, she standing over there in the wings. See her?

Commander: You mean the one with the long legs and the hat? Hmmm... She looks o.k. I guess....

Luoodles squinting: Hat? I don't thin... That's the COAT rack! What's wrong with you?

Commander: Well, I was in the middle of putting my contacts in when you POOFED me. I've only got one in. It's a bit disorienting!

Luoodles: Oh for CRYING OUT LOUD! ~ POOF! ~ Here. Put them in.

Commander: Do you have any solution?

Lu: NO!

~Puts in contacts~

Lu: Now... look again. Do you see her???

Commander, blinking: You mean that woman with the big Party Palz shopping bag?

Lu: WHAT?! Helene!!! Sigh..... No! The OTHER woman....

Commander: Well... surely you can't mean..... No. I couldn't hope... Do you mean that vision of beauty standing next to the curtain?

Lu: Uhh... well... she IS standing next to the curtain! I don't know about that vision of beauty thing.. You sure you have those contacts in? Maybe I should get you some of that solution stuff after all.

But Harm wasn't listening. His thoughts, his heart, his very soul was focused on Brigitte. "Come to me, Brigitte. You know the reason," said Harm, reaching out his hand toward her. Brigitte all but floated across the stage and into his arms.

As they gazed deeply into each other's eyes, Luoodles continued: Helene, would you come out and tell the lovely couple about their Gluoodle Prize package please? Helene? Helene?

~Helene sobbing in the corner... ~ He saw ME first! He wanted ME first!

Lu: Oh for heaven's sake! He wanted the COAT rack first. Get out here and tell them about their award. And bring the Gluoodle with you! What? Stop CRYING! I can't underSTAND you! What do you mean it's not exactly the Gluoodle anymore? What are you talking about? Crosby!!! She did WHAT? She "accesorized" it. WHAT!? How do you accesorize a Glu....



Put it back! Put it BACK IN THE BOX!

Helene... Come here, dear. Yes. You. Come here. Helene, HOW did Crosby get hold of the Gluoodle?

Helene: It's not my FAULT! It's not my FAULT! She.. she... well...She said she just wanted to see it for a moment.. and that.. she would... give me 10% off anything I bought and... I.. I.... It's not my FAULT! I'm a VICTIM!

Lu: Sigh. Oh, NEVERMIND! Folks, we'll get this sorted out. Anyway, Harm, Brigitte, here's a key to the Honeymoon suite at the Manly Arms, compliments of Dancer.

Harm couldn’t believe his luck. That crazy woman with the POOFing thing had finally POOFed him somewhere he wanted to go.

Brigitte, astonished: What’s THIS? A credit card?

Commander: Maybe it’s the key. It says “Special Guest Pass!”

Brigitte: Ooohh! Look at all the pretty rainbow colors – like the back of a CD.

Commander: What’s in that bag?

Brigitte: I don’t know. Luoodles just gave it to me with the passes.

Commander: Hey. Look HERE. It’s full of these little PACKETS!. . .They’re all different colors.

Brigitte: What are they?

Commander, reading from label: Oda’s Orange Pixie Dust – Just a pinch on your tail, and you’re ready to sail! ~ [Harm reads further] ~ Contents: One Poof! This product brought to you by the fine folks at Tink, Inc., a division of White Rabbit Enterprises, Wouldntyouliketoknow, VA

Brigitte, rubbing her hands together with glee: Oh, yes, I know how this works! I’ve seen her use it!

Commander: Well, great, but…

Lu, bounding across the stage: No! You CAN’T…I didn’t MEAN for you to have…BRIGITTE, DON’T OPEN THAT!

But, Brigitte had already sprinkled the glittering particles on their heads and…

~ POOF~!

In an instant, Harm and Brigitte were whisked away to a beautiful, Luxury Suite high atop the Manly Arms Hotel. Harm was surprised to find himself all decked out in formal, mess dress complete with gold cummerbund and white, cotton gloves.

From across the room, he spotted Brigitte coming toward him in an off-the-shoulder, red velvet evening gown and white elbow-length opera gloves. There were tiny jewels in her hair where the Pixie Dust had been moments before. She was a vision of loveliness.

Her eyes enchanted him, her lips beguiled him, and the way she moved made his heart beat faster. Harm felt like he’d struck gold.

As he gazed deep into Brigitte’s eyes, all he could think to say was, “Wow!”

“Et moi, aussi,” sighed the dazzled French woman looking at her dashing Commander.

They sat down to a gourmet, candlelight supper filled with great wine and warm conversation, then stepped out onto their private balcony.

Harm saw her standing by the railing framed against the sea of lights below. “I love to look at city lights,” she said softly.

The Commander whispered back, “And I love to look at you.” His eyes shone with brilliant fire as he murmured, “Je suis enchante de faire votre connaissance.”

Brigitte smiled shyly. “Harm, you’ve already met me.”

“But, I feel like I’m seeing you for the first time.”

She blushed at the look in his eyes. “Oh, Harm, you embarrass me.”

He took her in his arms and kissed her deeply, passionately until she swooned from the sheer joy of it. “Don’t worry, Brig,” he smiled, “I’ll take care of you.” With that, Harm pulled another small packet from inside his cummerbund. This one read “seldoouL Blue Brew – Oh, the things that you’ll do and take someone else, too! Simply cast these sparkles into the air and step into the shower.”

With a squeal of delight, Brig threw the powder into the air, and Harm carried her through the curtain of glitter – that POOFed them into the shower – the real one! Their clothes weren’t so lucky. The water was warm and relaxing as they CENSORED, and CENSORED and even CENSORED once they got their feet arranged correctly.

And so we leave the lovely Brigitte and her daring Commander frolicking happily with her Golden Gluoodle as they wend their way toward. . .wait a minute…Brigitte found another packet. No, you can’t use that one. Brigitte, STOP! That’s the PURPLE ONE. YOU CAN’T USE THE PURPLE ONE! BRIGITTE, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

POOF!

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