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Date Posted: 15:51:36 07/31/13 Wed
Author: Lace
Subject: Lost Chapter 9

Chapter 9

The character's aren't mine...

Mistakes are...

I'm sorry about the delay. Hopefully I'll be able to post the next chapter soon!!



On the road

Harm thought Mac was unusually quiet. When he had left her apartment the previous night, she had seemed happy, and this morning she had been short with him. He hesitated before asking, but eventually he found the courage.

“Everything okay, Mac?”

“Yeah.”

Harm thought; 'The hell you are!' and said. “You seem tired.”

“I didn't get much sleep,” she replied quietly.

“Bad dreams?” he asked, determined to make her talk.

“Something like that. I don't really feel like talking about it.”

“But you're going to have to talk. Not with me, but the psychiatrist can't help you if you don't talk. You understand that, right?” Harm asked.

“Thanks for driving me, but you don't have to wait for me, I'll take a taxi home when I'm done,” she said.

Harm had had enough. He drove into the side and stopped the car. “Mac, I get that you have a lot to deal with right now, but I will not be pushed away. I will wait for you and drive you home.”

Mac was surprised by his actions. “Okay.”

“Good.” Harm started the car and drove off again. “Why don't you come by my place later. I'll make dinner and we can catch a movie or something.”

“I was thinking that I'd make dinner and we could see a movie at my place,” Mac said.

“Okay, that sounds good,” Harm said with a sweet smile.


Dr. King's office

Mac had just finished telling Dr King about what had happened in Afghanistan. Now the psychiatrist watched her with a searching look.

“What?”

“I'm just surprised by your matter of fact way of telling me about what had to be a very dangerous situation. You must have been scared?”

Mac had to think about it. Had she been scared? She must have been scared at some point. “I don't know.”

“What did you feel then?”

“Angry mostly. But I tried to suppress feelings and stay focused. It's what I always do when facing danger.” Mac tried to explain how she had felt the best she could, but it was difficult.

“Do you often suppress feelings?”

“I guess I do,” Mac answered honestly.

“How did you feel when you killed all those men?”

Mac hesitated. “I was on a mission.”

“But how did you feel?”

Mac stood and walked across the room. “Angry I guess.”

“Are you angry now?”

Mac turned towards Dr. King. “Yes, I'm pissed. Whenever I think about it, I feel angry.”

“What are you angry about?”

“Everything. What those men stood for. What they wanted to do. I guess I'm angry about the whole war and what they did to us,” Mac said angrily.

“You're talking in general, but what about what they wanted to do to you when they dragged you out of that cell?”

Mac hesitated and took a step back. “I was angry. I murdered them in cold blood.”

“You didn't feel any sadness or remorse,” Dr. King said. “Do you worry about that?”

“I don't know. Maybe,” Mac said. “In my nightmares I always kill someone in cold blood. Someone I know.”

“It's normal in dreams that we see people we know, it doesn't mean that you want to kill someone,” Dr. King reassured.

“I know that, but why do I dream?” Mac asked.

“My guess would be that there are deeper issues. Unresolved issues. Like, why you are so angry. Why do you push people away? Tell me about your childhood,” Dr. King said.

Mac shook her head. “No, I don't want to go there.”

“Tell me about your parent's,” Dr. King said and ignored Mac's refusal.

“My Dad's dead and my Mom's living here in D.C,” Mac said and sat down. “We're not close. I visit her once a month and I pay her rent.”

“That's unusual,” Dr. King said. “When did your Dad die?”

“I might as well tell you the whole story,” Mac said. The rest of the session she told Dr. King about her childhood and how she had ended up in the Marines.

“Why did you decide to help your Mom?” Dr. King asked.

“Because it's the right thing to do. I won't feel better by letting her live on the streets, this way I know where she is and that she's okay,” Mac said.

“Have you forgiven your Mom?”

“The way I see it, my Mom was messed up and she couldn't have taken care of me. In a way I guess it was better to be left with my Dad. He tried to take care of me the best way he could, but he had his own problems to deal with. I don't hate my parent's anymore,” Mac said.

“Well, our time is up. Let's schedule a new appointment on Friday. I won't give you anything to sleep on, because I think you need to deal with whatever it is that bothers you.”



On the car ride home Mac sat in silence, and Harm didn't say much either. He noticed how tired Mac was and he just wanted to get her home so that she could rest.

“I pay my Mom's rent,” Mac said suddenly.

“Oh,” Harm said, unsure how to react.

“I just wanted you to know that she has a place in my life,” Mac continued.

“I think that's a good thing,” Harm said.

The rest of the ride they were both silent.

To Be Continued...

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Replies:

[> Another great installment -- JagFanUK, 18:26:33 07/31/13 Wed [1]

Thank you, I eagerly await the next part.


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[> Going well, Lace. -- Jan, 21:07:49 07/31/13 Wed [1]


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[> Great start with therapy. Can't wait for more -- Beth, 21:08:05 07/31/13 Wed [1]


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[> Glad to see Mac talking, good chapter Lace. -- JoyZ, 23:38:59 07/31/13 Wed [1]


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[> Thanks. Unpatiently waiting :) -- Shazam, 01:20:49 08/01/13 Thu [1]


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[> getting there slowly looking forward to more Lace -- Bev uk, 15:37:53 08/01/13 Thu [1]


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[> Great chapter, thank you. -- Can Sheshe, 22:14:32 08/01/13 Thu [1]


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[> Lace, catching up with this excellent story. Really love your authentic depiction of Mac and the way Harm has been there for me. -- Dee, 02:10:04 08/06/13 Tue [1]


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[> Just now catching up with this story and enjoying it. -- achaon, 22:47:34 08/12/13 Mon [1]


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