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Date Posted: 16:45:30 02/21/06 Tue
Author: Kyrian
Subject: Inside
In reply to: Shay 's message, "inside" on 13:23:50 02/21/06 Tue

(He watched as she pulled Remy back to sit on the couch with her and inwardly hoped his friend would just calm down.. he had enough stress inside him for all of them right now and he didn't want to be responsible for Remy having another heartattack on top of everything else he had already done.) No.. (He said when she tried to understand what he had been afriad of.) I wasn't afriad of telling her.. I was afriad of getting married.. not to Haylie, but in general. (He said and rubbed his face when Remy opened his eyes again to glare at him.) Just sit there and let me talk, will you? (He said and got a middle finger for his trouble, but at least Remy stayed sitting with Shay so that he could try and tell them this with a little dignity. It was bad enough that he would have to tell them and then tell Haylie, when he could have just told Haylie before.. but he had been so afriad that she would see him as weak.) I left Australia at fifteen because I grew up watching my broken family be the laughing stock of the area I lived in.. my mother was basically the town whore and my father was so broken he just sat in the garage and drank all day long.. he was never there for me or my mother.. I don't even think he cared that she cheated on him because she had been doing it for so long that he was used to it. (He put his elbows on his knees and looked down at the floor between his feet.) I always said I would never get married because I didn't want to get involved in a relationship where I would end up like my father.. I've always been better at letting people down than in making them proud of me and when I had to talk to him yesterday it just all came back to me and all I could think about was how devistated I would be if something were to come between Haylie and me. (He closed his eyes and groaned again.) I can't believe this.. I have to find her... I love her too much to let her go.

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