Re: love gone wrong -- Unofficial Chris Cornell Forum

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Date Posted: 23:42:03 02/28/06 Tue
Author: chico781
Subject: Re: love gone wrong
In reply to: chrys 's message, "love gone wrong" on 20:33:01 02/28/06 Tue

From my own experience, I know that it is very hard to just let go and open up to a person because we're afraid of getting hurt but once we do, we can experience so much more. With the sex thing, it seems like to me that you became more important to him than just someone to have sex with. By what you have told us, it seems like he wanted something more than that. I think that you should put it out on the table for him. Open up to him and let him see the whole you and not just the parts you show everyone else.

I wish you the best of luck. I honestly think that he does have feelings for you and I think that you guys can work it out. It's ok to be inexperienced. I know that I made a lot of mistakes in my own relationship but the important thing is trying to grow from them. I hope you can do that.

Sergio

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[> Re: love gone wrong -- chrys, 01:21:09 03/01/06 Wed [1]

23 - i should give you a cookie for even reading that whole thing : )

and yeah, i know it's not light and fun anymore, i knew it the day that he cried. i think it was true even before that, but it was like i FELT everything change in the room in that moment, and it's like even before that i knew i had more feelings/attachment than just "oh this is fun" but that night i really felt it, i knew i would use the word "love." lol i don't know what my problem is it's like part of me is disgusted w/myself for getting that way, but who can ever help these things???

i also assumed all through the beginning that it was just fun and flirty for him too. i guess cuz i didn't know him well and that stupid tina told me (the same night she found out i slept in his room and got all jealous) that he always had girls over. i had barely lived here more than a week so what did i know? i figured it was easier to assume something like that was true, than to expect anything. i am not sure exactly how important i was or wasn't to him, but i think that assumption was the wrong move too. i was just so afraid of being a stupid girl, you know? all sappy, or some stupid girl who gets all attached after we have sex or something like that. but truth be told i think i was somewhat attached before even that, and i think in his own way he was too.

jesus christ he even told me he loved me once, but he said it semi in jest and in the heat of passion so i totally blew it off like oh he doesn't mean that, and still told myself that this was allllll fun and friendly and nothing more. and any time i think of talking to him i always want to say things like, and if you don't have feeligns for me or you're not attracted to me, just tell me now. and when i realized i loved him, omg how i freaked, and he was here. i never said anything but i was just so sure that if he knew he'd be outta here.

if there is one thing i've learned from this, it's that you can't save yourself from hurt, unless you are a hermit and i've been there and i know that hurts too in its own way. i am embarrassed about the fact that i get attached so easily, but i guess if that's the way it is, then that's the way it is. think i went a little extreme in the other direction w/this guy, and i totally have regrets already. it will make me VERY sad if t his whole thing is totally over and like, i never gave him a chance to know me, w/someone who i think would have wanted to know.

twan thank you for this part:
You know that part of you that's ready to just throw in the towel? The part that feels a little relief thinking about blowing it all off and moving on? That's cowardice. That's the relief that comes from walking away from something difficult. That relief will be short-lived and will quickly be replaced by regret."

that crystallized things for me in a way that i couldn't see on my own. especially when you talked about "that part that feels a little relief..." it's like, you have it so pegged, lol.

so what do i do? the guy isn't calling me back. maybe isn't getting my msgs. the one night he did call, i had left on the msg to the other guy "make sure AJ gets this..." so i don't know if the drunk dude doesn't pass on the other msgs or what. i have thought about writing a letter, but i have hesitation about that, b/c i tend to go on and on (bet you all could never guess) and i tend not to get good responses, historically, from guys who i write to, and i'm talking like HS on. then again i can't assume again that just b/c it ended shitty other times that it will this time, or that it even matters. it's just hard to get ahold of this guy. i also don't wnat to like invite him over here and then ambush him with "we need to talk," lol. he prob knows it too just not sure how to address it, w/all the "communication breakdown." i even wrote a sample letter the other day, but i dunno what i'll do with it.

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