Date Posted:09:52:25 03/01/06 Wed Author: lump Subject: Re: love gone wrong In reply to:
chrys
's message, "love gone wrong" on 20:33:01 02/28/06 Tue
I remember slapping my b-friend once. We were waiting for a friend at a gas station. Here I am - Princess in the passanger seat - and he stops what he's doing to watch this skank ho walk by. I mean his head moved step by step. And she was my complete opposite. Dark straight hair - hillbilly girl build (no meat or curves or boobs - only Olive Oil knees in Daisy Dukes). I was so insulted that I reached over and smacked him HARD before I even realized I had decided to do it. I remember that draw back - that "Oh my God" amazement. I apologized profusely - as there's never a good reason to hit someone - but inside I still felt he had it coming. I'm lucky he took me home and didn't just leave me there. Anyhow - I know that cat-like feeling.
Do yourself a favor in any relationship. I know you're just starting out in the relationship world. But don't make any bad habits now - like not talking about yourself, only being a listener, and not just spitting it out. I don't know much about relationships (obviously), but I do know where I have gone wrong. But definately do yourself the favor of speaking out. If you feel it - say it. If you wonder, wonder out loud. It's not fair to hold in and in the end...you suffer instead of 'save.'
As woman, and to create that cat-like wonder - we "save" things. "Oh, he doesn't want to hear about my cramps." And he doesn't. But he's also wondering why you're grumpy.
"Oh, I can't cry around him. He'll run screaming." Cry if you want to cry. If he runs screaming, he's not the right one anyhow. "I don't want to seem...." But you are. "I'm bothered by this, but it's not that important and I don't want to seem demanding or bitchy." It is important. Otherwise he doesn't know. I think it's a female tendancy to hold back - maybe because we have to so much as mothers - maybe it's a maternal thing. But don't sabotage yourself by doing that EVER in a relationship.
As for the sex part - I don't get that either. It can't be "bad," so knock that out of your head. It's not you. But if you're feeling inexperienced or like you don't know what you're doing - ask. Mostly they like that. But I don't know why he wouldn't make a move. Maybe he's cheating or maybe he just wants a girl friend, and not a girlfriend? I'd maybe go get tested for VDs if I were you (in case that's the reason). It's hard to tell - and sex is definately one of those things that's tricky to talk about - but do. For yourself if no one else.
