| Subject: Episode 14: Super Fools Day |
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Team Bravo
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Date Posted: 13:19:30 05/02/02 Thu
LIFE IN GENERAL: SUPER FOOLS DAY
SCENE ONE: Group lands in a water fountain in the middle of the Mall of America. They
are still dressed in their clothing from Vegas in 1985.
ELLIE
Well, could be worse...I could be wearing the showgirls' outfit again (Ashe surfaces between
Ellie's legs)...It just got worse...
ALEC
Now is that anyway to speak to your new husband? Can I call you sis?
ASHE/ELLIE
No!
SAM
(Sees Richard filling his pockets with the change in the fountain)
Richard, stop it!
RICHARD
Stop what? I found these
SECURITY GUARD
Alright kids, out of the fountain
(Group crawls out of the fountain)
What were the five of you doing in there anyway?
ELLIE
It was an accident, Officer....we fell in
SECURITY GUARD
(Raises an eyebrow)
All of you?
ASHE
Yeah...(points to Richard)..That guy tripped and fell into us...we all went in
SECURITY GUARD
Ok, I'll let you go this time...but no more horseplay
ELLIE
Thank you...
(Security guard leaves)
ALEC
Good thinking, Ellie
ASHE
Hey, what about me? I helped
ALEC
Ellie still was the one who came up with the idea
SAM
Can we please get out of these wet cloths?
ALEC
Hey you name it, we go there
ELLIE
Sam, you said please...I'm shocked
SAM
It slipped
ASHE
Oh my God...
ALEC
What?
(Ashe walks away from them to a book store)
Where is he going?
SAM
Ellie, control your husband
ELLIE
Shut up about the marriage thing...I'm not dwelling on the Richard thing with you
SAM
That's because you got nothin'!
ASHE
Guys, check this out?
SAM
Unless it can help me dry off, I don't care
ALEC
What is it?
ASHE
(Holds a yellow book in front of them. In black writing it said 'The Necromonicon for
Dummies')
ELLIE
You've GOT to be kidding me
ALEC
Who would write something like this?
ASHE
Who cares...this is hilarious...I'm gonna get it
SAM
Oh come on Ashe, like we could use that...
ASHE
Of course we could use it!
SAM
You don't think we're pretty much pro's with that book already
ASHE
I'm getting it...
(Buys the book and returns to the group outside the store)
I can't believe someone would make a book like this on the Necromonicon...
ELLIE
Wait a minute...Ashe, let me see that
(Ashe hands her the book)
Uh, huh...that's what I thought
ALEC
What?
ELLIE
Written by Professor Bruce Campbell
SAM
Still think that thing is useful, Ashe?
ASHE
It could be...
ALEC
Alright...lets go buy some dry clothing
SAM
I'm with him...
(Alec smiles at her and hold out his arm to Sam)
Not literally moron
(They enter the nearest clothing store and use Ashe and Alec's winnings from Vegas to buy
new clothing. Ellie stopped in a magic shop, followed by Sam. Ashe, Alec, and Richard
were playing with some of the items throughout the shop)
ELLIE
Look at this...(she picks up a book of spells)...this could come in handy...
SAM
Oh please....this witch thing again...when are you going to give it up?
ELLIE
I'm not
SAM
And how are you going to pay for it?
ELLIE
Ashe gave me some of his money
SAM
What? He didn't give me any
ELLIE
That's because you sassed him...
SAM
So...
ELLIE
Actually he gave me the money and told me to share it with you...
SAM
So hand it over
(Ellie gave Sam her share of the money)
ELLIE
I'm gonna get this book
SAM
So what all can you do? (Ellie looked at her)...not that I believe you're a witch or anything
ELLIE
Not much yet...just some things for pranks
SAM
Wait...what day is it? (Sees a calendar behind the counter that said April 1, 1990)...April fools
day...Ellie, I think it's time we played a prank on the boys...
ELLIE
Like what?
(They look over and see Alec and Ashe playing with the capes for sale. Alec tried on a black
cape and Ashe tried on a red cape. They both were playing around, making super hero poses.
Ellie gave a devilish smile to Sam)
You thinking what I'm thinking?
SAM
What exactly are you going to do?
ELLIE
I'll make them the real super heros for 24 hours
SAM
How is that a prank?
ELLIE
We get to watch them make fools of themselves
SAM
I like it
(Ellie puts her palms together and closes her eyes. Slowly she separates them and a glow
formed between her hands. She held her hands in front of her, palms up. A ball of flame
burned in her hands. She opened her eyes and flicked her wrists at Ashe and Alec. The
flaming balls flew at Ashe and Alec. When it reached them, it circled around them and
disappeared in an instant. Ellie lowered her hands and looked at Sam)
SAM
Ok, that was cool...did it work?
ELLIE
Wait for it...
(Ashe and Alec turned to face each other.)
ALEC
Aren't you in the wrong store, Clark?
ASHE
What?
ALEC
It seems to me that dark colors aren't your thing...you seem to enjoy brighter colors like red,
yellow, and blue
ASHE
Oh, this coming from a guy who wears only one color
ALEC
I stick with what works
ASHE
(looks around the store)
So where's your butler? Heaven forbid you spend more than 24 hours away from him...
ALEC
I am just fine on my own...
ASHE
Really? I hope you have a working waffle maker at home...otherwise Gotham's criminals
would run a muck....do you even get out of your bed if you don't get your waffles?
ALEC
Occasionally...As for the criminals...I'm sure you can handle them for a little while without
me...that is, if you're not making eyes at Lois
ASHE
Could you leave my love life out of this...
ALEC
Love life? Aren't we the optimist
SAM
(To Ellie)
Ok, so they THINK they're Superman and Batman...but do they have the super powers?
ELLIE
Would I do anything else?
SAM
You know...I don't know if I buy this...I mean, they could just be acting...
ELLIE
Oh please...then how do you explain my little fire display?
SAM
You're secretly a pyromaniac
ELLIE
You know, for this insolence, I should put a spell on you too
SAM
What are ya gonna do? Make me their damsel in distress? (laughs) I don't think so
ELLIE
Thanks for the idea...I wonder what you'd be like without your cruel, sarcastic exterior
SAM
What makes you think that its just the exterior?
ELLIE
I'm sure there is a warm heart in there somewhere
SAM
You assume too much
(Sam watched Ashe and Alec again. Ellie smiled and spun her wrist, creating a white flame
in her hand. She quickly blew it toward Sam)
Did you say something?
ELLIE
Nope...
(A costumer bumped into Sam and dropped her books all over the floor)
SAM
Oh, I'm sorry, I was blocking your way...(She knelt down to help the woman pick up her
books)...here let me help you get that. I really am sorry, I didn't mean to trip you...
ELLIE
(Watches Sam help the woman, trying to refrain from laughing. Sam Stood up again and
looked at Ellie)
...That was very nice of you...
SAM
It would have been rude of me to do anything else
ELLIE
No kidding...
(Sees Richard holding a tool kit, wearing a black beanie, and tip toeing away from the group)
Freeze, buster..
RICHARD
Uh...(Straightens up and tries to act innocent)
ELLIE
What do you think you're doing?
RICHARD
I was...uh...just..
ELLIE
You weren't thinking of hot wiring one of the jeeps here, were you?
RICHARD
Of course not...that would be stealing
SAM
And it's wrong...
(Richard gives Sam a vacant stare)
Richard, stealing is wrong...you should know better
RICHARD
(looks at Ellie)
Is she sick?
(Ellie smiles and shrugs)
SAM
Come on Richard, aren't there better things to do with your time than stealing jeeps?
RICHARD
I guess...
SAM
See, you're doing better already...come here...(She spreads her arms to give him a hug)
RICHARD
(Nervous)
Uh...I'm not really comfortable with...
SAM
Oh, come on silly...give me a hug
RICHARD
No, actually I just...
(Sam grabs Richard and hugs him. To Ellie)
Help me...
(Ellie just laughs)
ELLIE
This is too funny
(Sam lets him go and he stumbles back a few steps)
SAM
Ellie, is there anything you can do to be sure Richard doesn't get himself into trouble?
ELLIE
Well, I guess I could put a restraining order on him...
RICHARD
What kind of restraining order?
ELLIE
(Thinks for a minute)
Richard, you are not aloud to get within five feet from a jeep...(she snaps her fingers)
RICHARD
You wouldn't
ELLIE
Oh I believe I already have...
(Richard stares at her for a moment then runs to the nearest jeep in the store. When he came
with in five feet from it, it looked at though he had run into a wall. He fell to the ground.
He stood up and began feeling the invisible wall around the jeep. The surrounding crowd
thought he was some sort of mime.)
SAM
Good thinking, Ellie
ELLIE
So, what are you going to buy with the money Ashe gave you?
SAM
Buy? I don't need anything...There are people in this world who have far less than I do...
ELLIE
Yeah, but...
ALEC
(To Ellie)
Excuse me, I don't believe we've met...
ELLIE
Sure we have...
ALEC
No, I think I would remember someone as beautiful as you...
ELLIE
(Takes a deep breath)
Ok, Alec...I think I may have went a little over board on the spell...
ALEC
Alec? You must have me confused with someone else
ELLIE
No, I...
ALEC
Its alright, I have one of those faces. (holds out a hand) I'm Bruce Wayne
ELLIE
(Shrugs and plays along)
Pleasure to meet you, Bruce...I'm Ellie
(She holds out her hand to shake Alec's. Alec takes her hand and kisses it)
ALEC
Charmed...
ASHE
Oh please
ALEC
Is there a problem, Clark?
ASHE
You waltz in here with your fancy suit and your million dollar smile and expect every woman
to melt over you
ALEC
I can't help it if I'm handsome and charming and you're....well, lets be honest...not.
(Watches Ashe's anger grow)
Careful there, Clarky...you're eyes are beginning to burn
(Returns his attention to Ellie)
Don't mind him...he's was raised in a barn
ASHE
It was a farm...
ALEC
You say potato...
ALEC
And who is your lovely friend?
SAM
My name is Samantha...
ALEC
(Kisses Sam's hand)
The pleasure is all mine. Lets go get something to eat, shall we?
(They walk down the hall to a restaurant. Unknown to them, Richard is posing as one of the
manicans and eyes Ellie as she passes him. Several men wearing all black and ski masks run
in and hold guns in the air. One shot was fired in the air)
MAN 1
Everybody freeze!!
MAN 2
Get on the ground!
ELLIE
This is not good...
(Instinctively, Alec stands in front of Sam and Ashe stands in front of Ellie)
MAN 1
(points a gun at Ashe and Ellie)
You two...
ELLIE
Uh oh...
MAN 1
Get over here!
ASHE
(Whispers to Ellie)
Stay close...
(He takes her hand and they go where the man said. Sam is clutching onto Alec. They walk
by a tree which Richard was hiding in. When Ellie came close he leaped out at her)
RICHARD
YIIIAAAAAHHH!!!!
(He misses Ellie, and falls face down on the ground)
Ow.
ELLIE
That's it...I quit (Ashe looks at her curiously)...I just do. (pauses)...Oh no...I've become Sam
ASHE
Stay here...
ELLIE
Wait, where are you going?
(Ashe zips away using his super speed into the nearest dressing room. When he returns, he is
wearing the Superman uniform and his hair is greased back)
Where did you get that suit?
(He begins to fight the armed robbers. Alec secretly sneaks off. One of the men grabs Sam
and holds her hostage)
SAM
Superman! Help!
MAN 3
Freeze, Freak!
(Ashe stops fighting and looks at Man 3. Man 3 nods to one of his associates who opens a
lead box. Inside was a small piece of Kryptonite. He holds it up to Ashe, who clutches his
stomach as he is weakened.)
It doesn't take much, does it...
ELLIE
What?...do you people just carry this stuff with you all the time?
ASHE
You'll never get away with this...
MAN 3
Oh but I will...
ELLIE
It seems my spell has transported us into a comic book...
SAM
No! Stop it....Some one help him!
ELLIE
...and yet I'm the only one who realizes it...
SHOPPER 1
Look! It's Batman!
ELLIE
Not happening...
(Alec stands tall in a full batman suit)
...Where are they getting these suits....I guess I'm better at casting spells then I thought
(Alec fires a weapon at the man with the kryptonite and he drops the box. When it hits the
ground, the box closes. Ashe takes several deep breaths and gets to his feet. Alec then glides
down to the man holding Sam. The man tries firing at Alec, but Alec doesn't stop
approaching. Alec punches the man and looks at Sam who is staring at him wide-eyed and
speechless)
ALEC
Are you alright?
SAM
Behind you...
ALEC
(Swings his arm by his head and punches the guy with the back of his fist. He looks at Sam
and smiles)
Don't worry
ELLIE
Ok...this is just cool...
ASHE
(Runs over to Ellie)
Are you ok?
ELLIE
Never better...
ALEC
(To Ashe)
Hey Clarky...
ASHE
(Rolls his eyes)
Yes Brucey?
ALEC
You know your underwear is on the outside?
ASHE
You know you're entire image is nothing but a blind flying rat
ELLIE
Nice one
ASHE
(Proudly)
Thank you
ALEC
At least I don't fly around the city in tights like a-
ELLIE
Alright, alright...I've heard enough
SAM
You two shouldn't fight...
ELLIE
You two are not super heros
ASHE
What are you talking about? Of course we are...
ELLIE
No, (points to Ashe) you're a delusional freak who chases after women that he doesn't know...
ALEC
And this is different from his normal behavior how?
ELLIE
(To Alec)...And you are a successful actor who constantly tries to warm the heart of (points
to Sam) that cold-hearted bitch
SAM
Ellie, don't swear...
ALEC
She doesn't seem cold hearted to me
(Suddenly Richard jumped out from behind a bush onto Ellie's back)
RICHARD
Sneak attack!
(Ashe punched Richard and he fell to the ground)
ASHE
(Stares at Richard then at his fist)
That gave me a strange sense of satisfaction...
ELLIE
Oh, and you two are brothers...
(They pause and look at each other, then at Ellie)
ALEC
Ridiculous!
ASHE
Impossible! I was born on another planet...he is a mere human being...
ELLIE
(Gives a frustrated sigh)...This isn't fun anymore...Ashe...uh...Superman, can you use your
super speed to find something for me?
ASHE
Sure...what is it?
ELLIE
The Necromonicon Ex Mortes...it's made of human flesh and written in blood
ASHE
(Cringes)
Why would you want something like that?
ALEC
Hey, if you don't have the stomach for it...
(Ashe glares at him and flies off. He returns holding the Necromonicon)
ELLIE
Thank you...(She puts a hand on both Ashe and Alec's shoulders)
Return
(They both seemed to be dizzy and took a moment to gather themselves together)
ASHE
(Looks at his suit)
I always knew it!
ALEC
(Looks at his suit)
I could get used to this
SAM
My hero...(She takes his arm)
ALEC
(Looks at Sam curiously. Then he looks at Ellie)
I she serious?
ELLIE
Yup
ASHE
What happened to her?
ELLIE
She had a sudden change of heart
ALEC
How long will it last?
ELLIE
Just for today...
(Richard dropped from the ceiling in a black mission impossible suit. He stopped a few feet
from the ground with his arms and legs extended)
ASHE
So what'd you buy with the money I gave you?
ELLIE
I just bought this book of spells...I gave the rest to Sam
(They all look at Sam)
SAM
I gave it to the people at Compassion...
ASHE
You gave it all away?!
SAM
It's for starving children...
ASHE
(To Ellie)
I never thought I'd say this...but I like the old Sam better...
ALEC
Speak for yourself...
ELLIE
Don't worry guys...it'll wear off....Now, lets get out of here...
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