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Date Posted: 19:39:25 11/09/06 Thu
Author: Jessica Doan
Subject: Re: I'm A Virgin and Proud!
In reply to: Levi F. Araujo 's message, "I'm A Virgin and Proud!" on 10:51:56 11/06/06 Mon

Reply to:

>First of all, I want to congratulate you for your
>decision in stay virgin until you get married. This is
>not easy to get nowadays, once the whole world seems
>to be against this decision.
>
>Standing a virgin nowadays requires standing up to
>immense pressures. Why should a youth like you do so?
>Are there advantages to remaining a virgin?
>
>“Virginity has become like baby teeth, something to
>lose before graduation.” Statements like this reflect
>the permissive, free-wheeling attitude that many
>youths have toward sex. Nowadays, a youth who is still
>a virgin is likely to be viewed as a curiosity, an
>oddball. Some boys admitted that they were “desperate”
>to lose their virginity. Virgin girls admitted to
>feeling “abnormal.”
>
>Many youths think of sex as simply a way to express
>love – or to be loved by someone. It’s only natural to
>want to be loved. And youths often have particular
>needs in this regard. True love, however, “does not
>behave indecently, does not look for its own
>interests.” (1 Corinthians 13:4,5)
>
>Within the context of an honorable marriage, sex
>serves a dignified and beautiful purpose. But outside
>of marriage, it often serves as little more than a
>salve for emotional wounds, an escape from pressures,
>a way to bolster a sagging ego, a response to peer
>pressure, or a chance to enjoy the intimacies of
>marriage without accepting its responsibilities. “For
>the most part, the sexual act of a young adolescent is
>hostile, angry, and self-destructive; it is not a
>demonstration of caring, sharing, or feeling,”
>concluded Dr. Louis Fine in his book “After All We’ve
>Done For Them – Understanding Adolescent Behavior”
>
>Even when no dire consequences, such as pregnancy,
>result, illicit relations often leave one feeling hurt
>and empty. The book “The Private Life of the American
>Teenager” says: “Some feel exploited by boyfriends who
>threaten to walk out unless they agree to have
>intercourse. And if they do agree, they often end up
>feeling used, especially if the relationship ends or
>if it continues on a purely sexual basis.”
>
>Some feel that sex can help a couple to draw close to
>each other. But if a couple is too young to marry,
>what purpose does getting so close serve? The result
>can only be emotional pain when the relationship
>suffers its virtually inevitable breakup. In his book
>“How to Raise Parents”, writer Clayton Barbeau remind
>us that “adolescence is when you’re putting yourself
>together, finding out who you are.” He asks: “If you
>don’t know who you are, how can you love and therefore
>know, someone else?”
>
>Besides, sex in a courtship tends to squelch, not
>promote, meaningful communication. At the same time,
>feelings of guilt can work to drive a couple apart.
>Writer Clayton Barbeau thus summed it up well when he
>said: “I think teenagers playing with sex are like
>infants handling nitroglycerin.
>
>Some youths feel that gaining sexual experience will
>better prepare them for marriage. The facts show
>otherwise. For one thing, intimate problems in
>marriage are usually related to emotional factors –
>not a lack of sexual experience. If anything,
>premarital sex is destructive to a marriage. It tears
>down mutual respect and teaches a couple to relate to
>each other primarily on a physical basis; emotional
>intimacy is neglected. As the book “Building a
>Successful Marriage” observes: “Premarital intercourse
>must of necessity be chiefly on the physical level,
>characterized by selfishness rather than mutuality.”
>In the long run, a selfish view of sex results in
>marital misery. Marital satisfaction comes when a
>married couple apply Bible principles and are more
>concerned with giving than with selfishly receiving.
>
>The book “Why Wait Till Marriage?” points out another
>problem: “Men and women who have been permissive
>sexually before marriage cannot be expected to change
>miraculously when they marry. With few exceptions,
>they continue to manage their sex impulses as they did
>before they married.” The book concludes: “If fidelity
>in marriage is important to you, then recognize that
>it is tied in with fidelity before marriage.”
>
>Remaining a virgin until marriage can help you develop
>the moral strength needed to obey the Bible’s command:
>“Let marriage be honorable among all, and the marriage
>bed be without defilement, for God will judge
>fornicators and adulterers.” (Hebrews 13:4)
>
>It is clear that virgins have a better predicted
>chance for marriage success because they often have
>other virtues, such as greater devotion to duty, more
>ability to delay gratification, increased concern for
>following the rules, and similar characteristics.
>Those who foolishly discard their virginity will thus
>have much to regret.
>
>There is one final advantage to virginity that you
>should consider. The Bible shows that those who flout
>God’s laws are “wronging themselves as a reward for
>wrongdoing.” (2 Peter 2:13) How could premarital sex
>result in such a wronging of yourself? Consider, for
>example, the growing spread of the AIDS virus among
>teenagers. Yet, in spite of all the publicity
>surrounding this deadly disease, just a few youths had
>altered their sexual behavior as a result of fear of
>the disease.
>
>Such youths also fail to realize that immoral behavior
>may result in pregnancy, a score of sexually
>transmitted diseases in addition to AIDS, emotional
>trauma, a seared conscience, and – worst of all – a
>damaged relationship with God. Do not wrong yourself.
>Proverbs 14:16 says: “The wise one fears and is
>turning away from badness.” Do not be lulled into
>believing the myth of “safe sex.” As far as God is
>concerned, the only sex that is safe and acceptable is
>within the bond of marriage. Until then, treasure your
>virginity. Don’t let others make you ashamed of it or
>persuade you to toss it away. Just tell them straight
>that this is your personal decision and that you are
>really proud in being different from others.
>
>
>Levi F. Araujo (from Brazil)
>
>P.S.: Although you claim your decision has nothing to
>do with religion, I could not help myself quoting the
>Bible.

Dear Levi-
Your piece of advice was absolutely amazing! I totally agree with every point you made, and I love the fact that you quoted the Bible! It is crazy how everything in society gets turned around, and how it is so common for sex to be so petty and casual, and virginity is something that nobody seems to want to hold on to and cherish anymore.
I really like this line, "Within the context of an honorable marriage, sex serves a dignified and beautiful purpose," because I think that sex is a really good thing, just INSIDE the context of marriage, if used outside it is dangerous to mess with, "Clayton Barbeau thus summed it up well when he said: “I think teenagers playing with sex are like infants handling nitroglycerin".

Thank you Levi for writing such an honest, truthful article, it is very inspiring!
-Jessica Doan

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Replies:

  • Re: I'm A Virgin and Proud! -- Clair dela Cruz, 17:53:35 11/10/06 Fri
  • Re: I'm A Virgin and Proud! -- Levi F Araujo, 07:16:29 11/12/06 Sun
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