Re: Rana -- The PM Refugees' Forum

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Date Posted: 20:12:52 07/10/08 Thu
Author: Paul
Subject: Re: Rana
In reply to: Hi 's message, "Rana" on 08:40:36 07/10/08 Thu

I'm one of those people who panic or freeze up when I'm given bad news I'm expected to reply too. I'm just as likely as not to blurt out something stupid. I wish I could push a pause button and freeze everyone while I thought of a reasoned, intelligent and loving response. I'm thinking perhaps that some of those comments to you were of those sort. People likely walked away from you mentally kicking themselves. Or at least we'd like to thing so.

>First, I would like to thank you all for your nice
>words and kind feelings. I'm glad I have friends like
>you. Lately, I have discovered that being nice is an
>art and that if you want to be nice for other people
>while they are having hard times you have to think
>about words before you just utter them not thinking
>what they might mean to the other person.
>
>Last Friday, my sister-in-law's husband (who is also a
>friend of my Dad) passed away, because of lung cancer.
>I couldn't bring the news to my father, first because
>they had a long history and many memories from when
>they were young (20s and 30s) and second, of course,
>because of Dad's condition.. Certainly, the last thing
>Dad needs to hear is that the disease that he has
>recently been diagnosed with has killed his friend.
>
>It is our customs here to have funerals going on for 3
>successive days. Originally, this is to give all
>people a chance to come and pay condolences, so that
>if you were busy at one day you would be able to come
>the next or the third day instead, but most people
>chose to come on all three days, and close family
>members certainly have to be there all the tome.
>
>It was during this same event that people knew about
>Dad's recent diagnosis, and instead of words that
>might give me hope that dad might be cured, or at
>least get better or have any kind of medical
>treatment, they sounded as if he would be next. Crazy
>people... many, many of them didn't have any common
>sense to choose the right words.. but they went.. Oh,
>just like his friend... be brave rana, we all will die
>one day... Stupid.. just stupid.. one of them even was
>rude enough to ask me to tell him to forgive her if
>she had ever done anything bad to him... this is what
>people do when they expect that the other person will
>die soon...
>
>I know we all are going to die one day.. and I have
>enough faith in me to accept that... but I didn't need
>stupid people to act as if I will lose my father at
>any minute soon... and to say it to my face... I hate
>them all

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Replies:

Re: Rana -- iteo, 10:41:36 07/11/08 Fri
- Re: Rana -- Rana, 12:04:09 07/11/08 Fri
  - Re: Rana -- Michael, 12:12:14 07/11/08 Fri