Re: What do you think? -- The PM Refugees' Forum

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Date Posted: 02:30:33 05/20/08 Tue
Author: Rana
Subject: Re: What do you think?
In reply to: iteo 's message, "Re: What do you think?" on 22:42:51 05/19/08 Mon

>Hi Rana
>
>This may be too late, but perhaps you should confront
>her, but also be willing to forgive it.
>
>She may feel deeply ashamed.
>
>Once confronted, she may deny it. If she denies it,
>perhaps listen to her defense and if it falls short,
>then you have your answer.
>
>But if she admits to it, she may turn over a new leaf.
>Some of the best people have been driven to do things
>they wished they hadn't. She may even become a truly
>trusted member of the family.
>
>IF the situation has already been dealt with - can you
>tell us the outcome?
>
>Good luck!

Thanks Tom,

I confronted her, and the situation was very odd. She seemed shocked. For a moment I thought (wished?) I was wrong and I expected her to defend herself but she didn't. She didn't admit to it, nor denied it. She was silent all the time .. I couldn't tell if she was shocked that I would accuse her of theft or because she was caught! I told her I was sure because I counted the money before and after, and her response was.... �how much were missing?�! .. just that.. that's all what she had to say. No "I didn't do it� nor "are you sure?" nor anything ... She was blank.

I thought I would take the discussion further and I told her that I wanted her to think of any other explanation why the coins were missing.. she remained silent.. I said: Did you take them? she said only one word: No!
I wish she said something like "never" or "You know I wouldn't do something like that" or anything... but all she said was a cold "No".

I told her I won't be able to use her services anymore as I can't go to work/ university with my mind continuously thinking what would I find missing when I come back home... all she said was "yes, you're right"

The strange thing is that after I had said that, I went to bring her that day's fare and when I came back she had changed her clothes into the work clothes and wanted to start cleaning the house! She seemed like a hypnotized person. I told her she can't work for me anymore.. she said "ok, then", changed her clothes, took the money said "Bye" and left.

I was deeply affected by this issue, both emotionally and practically. I think about her all the time and wish she had proven me wrong in any way. You know the feeling of someone when they break up with their boy/girlfriend? this is how I feel currently. I keep wishing she would call, apologize, and come back and that we would turn over a new leaf, as you said, and forget all about the old one.

My "messy" house needs her badly, and things are becoming worse everyday although I am doing my best to do the house work and my kids are trying to help. And I miss her, as a person. She is so sweet, and caring. She used to ask me if I had something beside coffee before going to work, something my own kids wouldn't think of asking.

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Replies:

Re: What do you think? -- Johnny Reb, 05:48:11 05/20/08 Tue
Re: What do you think? -- iteo, 10:18:59 05/20/08 Tue
- Re: What do you think? -- Michael, 13:54:58 05/21/08 Wed