Re: (not) Mourning -- The PM Refugees' Forum

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Date Posted: 14:20:11 06/09/08 Mon
Author: grasshopper
Subject: Re: (not) Mourning
In reply to: Michael 's message, "Re: (not) Mourning" on 10:51:22 06/05/08 Thu

Interestingly when we went to the wake (which was at a venue recommended by the sister who never turned up - what fun's a family reunion if it doesn't cause some controversy or at least open some old wounds) there was another wake service being held.

Me and my Dad were both wearing coloured shirts and colourful ties (me on the recommendation of Mum, although I'd already taken my tie+shirt off and replaced it with a 'Free Range Man' t-shirt), my sister and my two cousins were all dressed like the cooly-alternative ladies that they are, Mum and my auntie were quite smart and her husband just had a black polo-neck on.

These guys had all gone the full hog, there were even two older women in black hats with quite ridiculously-wide brims which had clearly just had the dust patted off. Hell there was even a blonde who'd teamed her all-black getup with a pair of white-rimmed bug shades, probably so noone could 'see her tears'.

I dunno. As you said, people have different ways of doing these things.

>I agree. We tend too much to have expectations as to
>how you are supposed to feel. There are certain ways
>to behave of course, thats different...like being
>their for your Dad, but feelings are totally personal,
>and they can change.
>Ive know people who only really reacted many months
>later, or not at all.
>
>My father died about 5 years ago. My brother took it
>badly, even though my father was 90 and had been on
>his 'last legs' for about 5 years. Ive never seen a
>body so totally worn out. It hardly effected me. Thats
>just how it was, how he reacted was fine..for him. How
>i reacted was fine...for me.
>
>There seems to have been a revival in the past 10
>years or so whereby funerals and deaths are to be
>mourned far more openly, loudly.
>
>Maybe we have become a more emotional nation? Maybe
>its a bit theatrical for some?
>
>>>You're doing
>>>the right thing supporting your dad and that's all
>you
>>>need to do.
>>
>>Yeah I already thought that was the case to be honest.

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Replies:

Re: (not) Mourning -- Michael, 16:32:25 06/09/08 Mon