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| Subject: And so...here I am... | |
Author: Tammy | [ Next Thread |
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] Date Posted: 18:04:24 12/14/07 Fri I wanted to come in here and apologize for the absences lately. I've been swamped with so much to do, exams, that yes, I aced and passed successfully. Our wing is moving next week to the newly build wing on the south side of the building, so we've been getting ready for that. Our new module began and because of the move, and a snow day, we lost three days of the ten alotted for this module, which is payroll. So we are busy working overtime both at school and home to make sure we finish it on schedule amidst all this and the approaching holidays. On top of this, my grandmother was hospitalized yesterday, with a very low oxygen count. They have her on oxygen, of course, but we now know she had water building on her lungs. Part of this, is due to her having only one kidney, which was removed about 15 years ago because there was a cancerous tumor the size of a tennis ball in there. Recently we also found out there is signs of cancer from her most recent blood tests. So they will do a battery of tests while she hospitalized. Things aren't so good, but we are hopeful she will be home for Christmas. Tomorrow, I will spend my day making meatpies, which of course, I learned from my grandmother, and she's asked me if I am going to make it, because she wants to eat some. So, I will be busy baking tomorrow, and then bringing her some in the hospital and making my visit with her. I'm exhausted, but I still have shopping to do too and baking and visiting and homework to finish. So I may be scarce for a few days yet. But, I am thinking of you all and missing you guys! Love and hugs, Tammy [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] |
| [> Subject: Re: And so...here I am... | |
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Author: Shalah [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 20:15:37 12/14/07 Fri (((((((((((Tammy)))))))))))) I'm sorry that your grandmother is not doing well. How blessed you are to have her still! I haven't had a grandparent since I was 19! She'll be in my prayers, as will you and your family. I also sortof know how that crazy busy stuff can be, so just remember to breath! *hug* Wish I could be there to help you make those meatpies! I've never had one! I'm always game to learn something new! I've been baking all day today as well, and will be doing the same tomorrow. Hoping to get some goodie baskets passed out by Sunday. I'll be thinking of you when I'm baking tomorrow... we'll SORTA be baking together! Take care of you, Tammy... you're so worth it. *huge hugs* ~Shalah |
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Author: Sasha [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 03:58:23 12/15/07 Sat ~ ((((((((((Tamz)))))))))) this is such a busy time of year, so we totally understand your family commitments must come first. I'm so sorry to hear that your Grandmother is unwell, and I will be lighting a healing candle for her as soon as I've had some sleep. I can totally relate to the exhaustion, hon, it's been a loooong year. But please know that I'll be thinking of you and wishing you all the best with everything. Sending lots of love and healing energies to you and yours Arohanui *warm kiwi hugs* Sash xx    . |
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Author: andy [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 04:18:39 12/15/07 Sat Tammers, So sorry to hear about your grandmother! I was thinking while reading how touching it is that you are making something that she taught you to make, for her, now, when she is not able to make it herself. That's the essence of your blog. I will include her in my nightly prayers and we will see you here as time allows. Sending much love up the Northway to your door. hugs, andy |
| [> Subject: Re: And so...here I am... | |
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Author: Tammy [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 05:56:43 12/15/07 Sat In my language of Mohawk I say: "Nia:wen ta'non kahnerhon'kwa" (Thank you and I love you) I so appreciate your love and support, I will update as time permits. Shalah-Thank you sweety for your love, and yes, I will be thinking of you as I'm baking today, because I guess we WILL be baking AT THE SAME TIME. So in a way, we are having a baking party! Love ya girl! Sash-Thank you for the candle lighting, and I agree, this time of year is exhausting, but in addition this year in particular has been a very LOOONG year indeed! I agree. But, in any event, I love ya and thank you. Andy-My love of cooking started with my grandmother at an early age. She taught me all the traditional foods our people made, and I was always the one in the kitchen as her assistant. Got my scars too to prove it *winks*. But yes, making something she wants to eat, is something I will do no matter if it kills me, because, in truth, mom and I were discussing the fact that she's come through three near deaths, that we arent' sure we can expect her to be fighting odds soon. I will give a little background here while I can. Two years ago, in the early Autumn, while my grandmother seemed quite well; until one morning, she said to me, "I don't feel good so I'm going to lay down." Within five minutes her whole body was convulsing and she was calling my name. I called paramedics and they rushed her to hospital. She was brought in for gallstones, and the fever she suddenly had, brought on the body convulses. They stabalized her and made her comfortable. A team of doctors including her own, sat in consultation for three days, discussing whether it was safe to operate on her, since her history for operations prior had had complications where the results were, that they lost her on the operating table at some point due to hemorraghing. They revived her, and transfused her at the time. She came through that major operation, which was the one that required removing the one kidney. So considering all of this information, they decided that given her age, medical history and the likes, they had decided that the following Monday they would have to try because there was no other way around it. This decision came on Thursday afternoon. On Friday morning, she wouldn't wake up, and had slipped into a semi-coma, for reasons we still don't quite understand. During her comatose condition, my grandmother recalled to me later, that this is what transpired in her experience. She said, "I was tired, so I went to sleep, and I had the strangest dream. I saw my parents, my uncle, and a few other family relatives (all passed on), and your grandfather. He was standing right there, and I was walking towards them, talking to them. But, your grandfather, smiled, said I still love you Alice, but you need to go back, you've got some things to finish, and I'll be back on your birthday to get you." She said, he smiled and was all aglow with love, and she felt his love, and missed him even more, but the next thing she saw was a bright orange glow ball, that circled around her and then hit her in the back of the head, at which point she woke up. So last year as we approached her birthday in March, we were all kind of scared that something would happen. We watched her health like hawks and made sure all was good. But we KNOW in our hearts, my grandfather will keep his promise sooner or later and come and take her home on her birthday. These recent events, as gloomy as they may be, have put us back in the "alert" mode for something to go awry. The past two years, she complained about missing my grandfather, cried for him and has told us, she doesn't want to be here, she just wants to go home and be with him. So given all this history, it has led mom and I to believe that possibly this might be her very last battle on the earth plane. There is too much for her tired mind and body to fight this time around. Cancer in any form at any age is hard, but at this age, and considering her medical history, may be just a bit too much. The fact that her kidney is not functioning well, is another. Ironically, she's never had a problem with this happening before, but my grandfather battled water building in his lungs often, and eventually his kidney's shut down and that was his demise. So, we see all of this, and can't help but fear the worst is about to approach our family. That this may indeed be her last Christmas with us. The fact that she's asking for things specifically, where she never did before. The fact that she claims, she absolutely must see ALL of the kids this Christmas, makes us believe she "knows" something is coming, and she's tying up those last minute lose ends before succumbing. The Christmas season was always hard for her, since her mother passed away Christmas eve 39 years ago this Christmas Eve. So you see, my dear, that is a partial history of my grandmother, and the things we've witnessed, and know to be true. We are preparing our hearts and minds in the event that she should give up her will to live, and succumb to the pull of letting go. Keeping her will alive is very hard at times. We hope for the best ALWAYS, but we are not in the driver's seat at this point and can only do so much, which we are all doing. My part is...MAKE the PIES, and bring her some. Get my kids home for Christmas and love her and enjoy her every day, while we can. We don't want to lose her, but we are suspecting that this might be the last battle she makes. *sigh* All in good faith, we love her, accept what her and God decide this time around. And that is the reason, I am making pies today. Sorry for it being so long, but I felt the need to share all of it with you guys, so you would know just how important this time is for me, and how I spend it. I love you guys, and thank you so much. I had tears writing this, because I felt the love you all shared and I love you guys more and more! Biggest hugs ever! Tammy |
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Author: Sasha [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 11:10:43 12/15/07 Sat (((((((((((((((((Tamz))))))))))))))) sweetie, you and your family, especially your Grandmother, are in my heart and my prayers...the healing candle is lit, for you all. How special that you would share this, and her, with us... A baking party sounds like a wonderful idea, count me in, as I will be baking today...the kids love it!!! ((((((((Love ya, girlie girl)))))))) Sash xxxx  . |
| [> Subject: Re: And so...here I am... | |
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Author: Tammy [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 17:11:19 12/15/07 Sat A baking we will go..Hi Ho the Dairy O...A baking we will go! Yep...loves ya too Sash! I made 12 meatpies today...woo hoo..and only 8 were frozen for Christmas LOL..the kids kind of got a little over zealous on the taste testing end of it! Thanks for the candle, I so appreciate it, and I have one lit too now for her. I don't mind sharing someone who means so much to me with all of you...you are all family right! *Smiles* Hugs and love, Tammy |
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