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| Subject: Re: And so...here I am... | |
Author: Tammy | [ Next Thread |
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] Date Posted: 05:56:43 12/15/07 Sat In reply to: Tammy 's message, "And so...here I am..." on 18:04:24 12/14/07 Fri In my language of Mohawk I say: "Nia:wen ta'non kahnerhon'kwa" (Thank you and I love you) I so appreciate your love and support, I will update as time permits. Shalah-Thank you sweety for your love, and yes, I will be thinking of you as I'm baking today, because I guess we WILL be baking AT THE SAME TIME. So in a way, we are having a baking party! Love ya girl! Sash-Thank you for the candle lighting, and I agree, this time of year is exhausting, but in addition this year in particular has been a very LOOONG year indeed! I agree. But, in any event, I love ya and thank you. Andy-My love of cooking started with my grandmother at an early age. She taught me all the traditional foods our people made, and I was always the one in the kitchen as her assistant. Got my scars too to prove it *winks*. But yes, making something she wants to eat, is something I will do no matter if it kills me, because, in truth, mom and I were discussing the fact that she's come through three near deaths, that we arent' sure we can expect her to be fighting odds soon. I will give a little background here while I can. Two years ago, in the early Autumn, while my grandmother seemed quite well; until one morning, she said to me, "I don't feel good so I'm going to lay down." Within five minutes her whole body was convulsing and she was calling my name. I called paramedics and they rushed her to hospital. She was brought in for gallstones, and the fever she suddenly had, brought on the body convulses. They stabalized her and made her comfortable. A team of doctors including her own, sat in consultation for three days, discussing whether it was safe to operate on her, since her history for operations prior had had complications where the results were, that they lost her on the operating table at some point due to hemorraghing. They revived her, and transfused her at the time. She came through that major operation, which was the one that required removing the one kidney. So considering all of this information, they decided that given her age, medical history and the likes, they had decided that the following Monday they would have to try because there was no other way around it. This decision came on Thursday afternoon. On Friday morning, she wouldn't wake up, and had slipped into a semi-coma, for reasons we still don't quite understand. During her comatose condition, my grandmother recalled to me later, that this is what transpired in her experience. She said, "I was tired, so I went to sleep, and I had the strangest dream. I saw my parents, my uncle, and a few other family relatives (all passed on), and your grandfather. He was standing right there, and I was walking towards them, talking to them. But, your grandfather, smiled, said I still love you Alice, but you need to go back, you've got some things to finish, and I'll be back on your birthday to get you." She said, he smiled and was all aglow with love, and she felt his love, and missed him even more, but the next thing she saw was a bright orange glow ball, that circled around her and then hit her in the back of the head, at which point she woke up. So last year as we approached her birthday in March, we were all kind of scared that something would happen. We watched her health like hawks and made sure all was good. But we KNOW in our hearts, my grandfather will keep his promise sooner or later and come and take her home on her birthday. These recent events, as gloomy as they may be, have put us back in the "alert" mode for something to go awry. The past two years, she complained about missing my grandfather, cried for him and has told us, she doesn't want to be here, she just wants to go home and be with him. So given all this history, it has led mom and I to believe that possibly this might be her very last battle on the earth plane. There is too much for her tired mind and body to fight this time around. Cancer in any form at any age is hard, but at this age, and considering her medical history, may be just a bit too much. The fact that her kidney is not functioning well, is another. Ironically, she's never had a problem with this happening before, but my grandfather battled water building in his lungs often, and eventually his kidney's shut down and that was his demise. So, we see all of this, and can't help but fear the worst is about to approach our family. That this may indeed be her last Christmas with us. The fact that she's asking for things specifically, where she never did before. The fact that she claims, she absolutely must see ALL of the kids this Christmas, makes us believe she "knows" something is coming, and she's tying up those last minute lose ends before succumbing. The Christmas season was always hard for her, since her mother passed away Christmas eve 39 years ago this Christmas Eve. So you see, my dear, that is a partial history of my grandmother, and the things we've witnessed, and know to be true. We are preparing our hearts and minds in the event that she should give up her will to live, and succumb to the pull of letting go. Keeping her will alive is very hard at times. We hope for the best ALWAYS, but we are not in the driver's seat at this point and can only do so much, which we are all doing. My part is...MAKE the PIES, and bring her some. Get my kids home for Christmas and love her and enjoy her every day, while we can. We don't want to lose her, but we are suspecting that this might be the last battle she makes. *sigh* All in good faith, we love her, accept what her and God decide this time around. And that is the reason, I am making pies today. Sorry for it being so long, but I felt the need to share all of it with you guys, so you would know just how important this time is for me, and how I spend it. I love you guys, and thank you so much. I had tears writing this, because I felt the love you all shared and I love you guys more and more! Biggest hugs ever! Tammy [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] |
| [> [> Subject: Re: And so...here I am... | |
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Author: Sasha [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 11:10:43 12/15/07 Sat (((((((((((((((((Tamz))))))))))))))) sweetie, you and your family, especially your Grandmother, are in my heart and my prayers...the healing candle is lit, for you all. How special that you would share this, and her, with us... A baking party sounds like a wonderful idea, count me in, as I will be baking today...the kids love it!!! ((((((((Love ya, girlie girl)))))))) Sash xxxx  . |
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