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| Subject: Looking Back Through the Fog | |
Author: andy spaschak | [ Next Thread |
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] Date Posted: 17:38:03 11/01/07 Thu . It was so many years ago that to get there in my own mind is like going for a ten mile walk through the fog. Each step another day where flashes of my life strobe across my rest- less mind until I see her there sitting at the table having lunch with my sister and her friends. I was just a kid back then (in some ways I still am). I had a way with the girls and I used it to my advantage. Before I saw her it was always just a game of cat and mouse. I learned to play it well early starting out in third grade with Barbara Vanderwood. There is something to that first time when a boy realizes girls have something more to offer than germs or coodies. I don't know what day my hormones kicked in but, when they did they came in with a bang and still haven't left yet forty years later. School had just started that year. It was maybe the third or fourth day when I walked into that cafeteria and saw her. Something happened to me that was powerful and fast. I froze where I was and felt my heart beating faster. I never saw it coming and I still can't explain it to this day. Later I learned that it was love but, back then I was just a mixed up crazy kid running for touchdowns both on the field and in the dark corners on Friday nights. I put her through too much of my crazy antics. Cheated on her every chance I got. Eventually she was gone but, it was for the best back then. There was no way I could have ever done anything good for her the way my life was at the time. Years went by but, I never forgot her. We saw each other a couple of times but, nothing ever came of it. Life moved along and we went our separate ways for an extended amount of time. Then one night about six years ago I sat down at my computer and opened up my mail. I saw her name in my inbox and once again felt the same feeling stirring up from deep inside. We eventually met a couple of times. It was a great feeling to be able to look at her all those years later and tell her how sorry I was for the things I did but, more importantly to find that she had forgiven me long ago. It was great to just sit and say little and feel her close again. Nothing ever came of it. Life is all about timing and my timing was never in line with hers. I grew eventually, the hard way and from her I learned that cheating on someone you love can hurt you more than them eventually. I learned that love like that is a gift that may only come once in a lifetime. I guess this story is all about karma and timing. I still communicate with her here and there. She's a good woman. I'm proud of the way she's lived her life. In another life, another time, I'd make it all up to her and we'd just fly away. It's fine to daydream so long as you land on two feet. It took me a long time to learn how to do that. I'm good at it now sitting here dreaming of things that make me smile. ....and that should be enough for any man especially a man like me. ajs .  . [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] |
| [> Subject: Re: Looking Back Through the Fog | |
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Author: Tammy [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 20:25:51 11/01/07 Thu AAAhhhh Andy, Andy, Andy! Now this I like...this I can soooo relate to. It was 20 years ago that I had those same heart flutters, the kind that send you over the top, out of the ball park. And recently, as you know...I met up with him...we did exactly what you described..talked and found closure to what never died, and yes....his timing and mine are off too. But I treasure the moments shared like no other. He has floated from my life, and although I know I'll see him from time to time around, we'll always share our memories and one unforgettable night that gave us more than we could ever put into words. I love stories like this one, they touch deeply, and make me believe in miracles again, and the good things in life. Isn't that what we are supposed to experience? I know I love moments just like this that you have penned. Treasure your memories, gather your eggs, and then create new ones every day. You are such a wonderful spirit my dear! love ya, Tammy |
| [> [> Subject: Re: Looking Back Through the Fog | |
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Author: andy [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 03:47:03 11/02/07 Fri Tammy, Thanks hot stuff. It just izzzzzzzzzzz what it izzzzzzzzzzzzzzz and I amzzzzzzzzzz what I amzzzzzzzzzzz big hugs, andy |
| [> Subject: Re: Looking Back Through the Fog | |
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Author: Christine [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 21:55:42 11/01/07 Thu .....karma...timing..... why is it that I read you when I need to figure out something and then you go and show me so I don't have to wrack my brain so hard? karma...timing.... Thank you, sir! |
| [> [> Subject: Re: Looking Back Through the Fog | |
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Author: andy [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 03:49:57 11/02/07 Fri Christine, Come here and lay down on my couch. We can work it all out after I hypnotize you. Thank you Brlindioso That will be 125 dollars and a _______ oh nevermind! me |
| [> Subject: Re: Looking Back Through the Fog | |
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Author: Sasha [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 22:33:24 11/01/07 Thu It's fine to daydream so long as you land on two feet. It took me a long time to learn how to do that. I'm good at it now sitting here dreaming of things that make me smile.  ~ oh Andz, you blessed each others lives, beyond words, and are forever connected and that connection will never die the gift she gave you was more than forgiveness, the gift is...you KNOW what love looks like love you, smiley *kiwi hugs* Sash xx  |
| [> [> Subject: Re: Looking Back Through the Fog | |
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Author: andy [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 03:52:26 11/02/07 Fri the gift is...you KNOW what love looks like love you, smiley *kiwi hugs* Sash xx _________________________________________ Yes, and it looks like so many different things and none of them are bad in the end. Thank you partner, andy |
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