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| Subject: *SNIFF* | |
Author: Christine | [ Next Thread |
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] Date Posted: 19:34:56 10/09/07 Tue Thought I'd give you a bit o' my summer madness...my blog from 6/11/07: Hehehe...I said I'd save the funny for another day. Well, I can't sleep and since it's 1am it IS another day! Sunday was spent driving thru cicada hell (LOL!) and watching the flying freaks go splat on my windshield....but...I did stop at a favorite haunt... Swallow Cliff Woods.... If anyone lives in IL and near this place, you know why it's a favorite. Huge-ass wooden toboggan slides for winter fun; the death-defying trek up the uneven stone staircase to walk the trails; trails for hiking and horse-back riding...the high-waisted field grasses that hide the cicadas from all the whacked sea-gulls...lol... If you're name is David Tagler you know the wooden tobaggan slides still carry your skin etched into the wood...long story and painful...but I had to mention him (hi David! *waving*) So...I am at Swallow Cliff...the field is empty and I see my chance... I am going to perform cartwheels. Mind you, I haven't done them since I was 12 and trying to impress Danny Vaughn, but I figured it's a good day to try it. I'm feeling strong, the sun is shining and I just need to do something freakingly silly... And beside that, no one is around....right? I take a step, skip and jump into the air with my hands reaching down...I can feel my legs in the air and think *oh shit...going for a roundhouse* when all of a sudden my hands that had hit the ground and were holding me up were dropped deeper into the ground.... about 7 inches deeper into the ground.... so I collapsed my arms and fell onto the ground. OOomph! I look at my hands...a little dirty, but hands are okay...the ground is just soft, I guess.... so I move about 30 feet south and start again... I take a step, skip and jump into the air with my hands reaching down...I can feel my legs in the air and think *oh shit...going for a roundhouse AGAIN...wtf?!?!* when all of a sudden my hands that had hit the ground and were holding me up were dropped deeper into the ground....only this time about 8 inches.... I move about 30 feet to the east...same thing.... 40 feet to the north....same thing... Damn! I collapse my arms and fall onto the ground....I'm sweating now...my left side is all wet as I am lying there and I'm thinking I am way to old to be falling all over the place like this, I should just give up....beside that, I smell...(but I took a shower, said my inner voice) I'm lying there in the sun, breathing heavy...just trying to calm down and get my breathing under control when there is a shadow above me. I look up into the face of a forest preserve cop... He says to me with a smirk on his face...Ma'am, we've been watching you for the last half hour fooling around in this field...are you aware that we've just laid fertilizer down in the area that you've been playing in? Hmmm...fertilizer? I ask. Yes ma'am, he says, there are woodchuck holes all over this field and we've been trying to fill them up so when the horses come thru the trails they won't break a leg... Since when have the horses been coming thru this field? I ask...I didn't know the horses came thru here, I thought it was over on the other side. When was the last time a horse (or horses) with riders came thru here? And he replies....well ma'am, I think you should check with your left side on that note... Oh shit. I am lying in horse shit. No shit. What the shit. I am laughing at myself, at the shit jokes running through my head...still laughing, too. See, I got a visual of woodchucks and their passage ways packed with shit...and my mind just ran with it all...the shit in my brain just flowing....(okay, that was gross but you get the picture...unless, of course, you're a tad retentive....) So...it's not funny, but it is...you just had to be there... And btw...I tossed those clothes....I shit you not!!! [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] |
| [> Subject: Re: *SNIFF* | |
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Author: Tammy [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 14:03:20 10/10/07 Wed LMFAO!! OMG Christine!! This reminds me of a blog my evil twin wrote...called..."Doors For Dummies" LOL My evil twin is my ex sister-in-law. Well, one day we were at the elementary school delivering lunches to my kids. We had just come from breakfast, and well, we were there. Her brother, which is my ex; so, his girlfriend, who hates well both of us now LOL...came through and in her insecure sociopathic mind thought, what are they doing here? They're following me, they're going to hurt me! And in all honesty, we were just standing between the entry doors, talking to a mutual friend when she happened to walk in all nervous because of that. Well, she went to get her daughter and came up with her clutched to her, like we were going eat them or something! We were laughing at a joke our friend was telling, and of course the dummy thought we were laughing at her! She got more nervous, and tried to go out a locked door with child on hip. She bounced off the door. Not once, not twice, BUT THREE TIMES, before she deduced it was not going to open and oh my god, she has to step two feet closer to us to use the middle door! We both looked at each other, stifled a laugh and then burst out laughing before the door made contact with the frame! Oh oh I said, she's going to run straight home and call your brother and tell him some horrid version of what just happened. But I tell you for weeks that image played in my mind like a mini clip, where I kept hitting rewind, rewind. Over and over that image was impossible to shake off. So, that evening her brother, my ex calls me and says..interesting day?? Umm Yep..interesting alright, I guess you got the distorted version huh? He says, well tell me what happened and I'll let you know. Well, you see I said...it was just one of those moments where YOU HAD to be there. It was funny, and if you were standing there, you would have been bursting out laughing too! So enough said, she was a dummy and she proved it!! So the blog went up called Doors For Dummies!!!! Love stories like these! Thanks for sharing it. And watch out for the damn shitty holes will ya! LOL Hugs, Tammy |
| [> [> Subject: Re: *SNIFF* | |
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Author: Christine [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 23:29:15 10/12/07 Fri ROFLMAO!!! Tammy! That's a good one! I even got a visual!!! *laughing hard* It's so good for me to know that I am not the only one...... Thanks!! ~Hugs~ |
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