Re: Full Moon Chaos -- Bloggers Basement Muse Mongers Blog

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Subject: Re: Full Moon Chaos

Author:
Christine

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Date Posted: 17:54:13 10/26/07 Fri
In reply to: Tammy 's message, "Full Moon Chaos" on 15:22:22 10/26/07 Fri

Tammy,

Full Moon Chaos? Actually, this moon was about closing the door on old wounds and looking towards the future (smile). Of course, there are those (like some nutjob with a van) that could be certifiable in relation to moon madness.

However, I am standing on my soapbox now. On my toes, but I'm up there waving scissors!!!

I know you're worried about your son, but really, he's just gotta take responsibility for his actions. Boys do really stupid things just trying to get some attention - but usually that kind of stupidity is from trying to get attention from his peers. Not his father. Not his mother.

You really can't blame anyone but your son. Seriously. His reaction to his father not being around, or to his father's girlfriend is just something HE is going to have to work out - with his father. You can run in and force your ex to be a father. But your son can, if he speaks up and talks to his father.

The only thing you can do is point out the mistakes that your son is making, encourage him to talk to his father about what is bothering him and then stay out of that part of his life. Trying to make your ex see something that just might not have any relevance makes you look like you are either a) jealous; or b) trying to control his life thru your son. Whether or not your hunch is correct, you shouldn't automatically assume that your son's problem stems from his other parent. You could be just as much the problem as he is.

I'm a single mom, you know. I've had to raise my nephew, along with my daughter, on my own and then let him go back to his parents when the time was right. He got in all sorts of crap - the worst was when he broke windows out of a factory. His parents said he was acting out because they didn't "want him". Truth was that he did it because the kids he hung out with dared him to. And if he didn't squeal then he was cool and he could hang out with them.

Kevin went to court - I made him. He took responsibility and was made to work in the factory after school for two years (and on weekends) to earn money to pay for all the windows he broke, and he had to continue to make good grades. Was it hard for me? Yes. I love him. But I know that if I let him fall back on the excuse that his parents couldn't get it together to be true parents at the time or that I was a single mom raising a child not my own, or that his father had a string of girlfriends and took care of their kids before his own, or that my sister tossed him to the side to be with a guy and have his child, I would be enabling him to give excuses for future bad behaviors.

Being a mom is all about the child, not about who birthed him or who donated the sperm, or even about who is attached to whomever when and where. It's all about the kid and teaching him to be a strong individual who takes responsibility for his actions.

*Sigh* I'm lecturing, I know.....forgive me, please. It's just that you're such a great woman and I'd really hate to hear that something like this (or worse) continue for you and your son.
I didn't mean to lay it on heavy when you have a load right now...but just think about what I said....and what Andy said.

I'm thinking of you...all good thoughts!!

~Hugs~

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[> Subject: Re: Full Moon Chaos

Author:
Tammy
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Date Posted: 18:43:13 10/26/07 Fri

Ya know what guys! I know you are right..and Christine you make very valid points too. I acknowledge the worth and wisdom of them too. Thank you.

Here you can read it in the newspaper out in Ottawa.

http://www.cbc.ca/ottawa/story/2007/10/19/ot-lockdown-071019.html?ref=rss

Let me know if the link works.

Thank you and big hugs to you both. I appreciate it.

Love ya,
Tammy

[> [> Subject: Re: Full Moon Chaos
Author: Tammy [ Edit \| View ]	Date Posted: 18:44:30 10/26/07 Fri http://www.cbc.ca/canada/ottawa/story/2007/10/19/ot-lockdown-071019.html?ref=rss The other link didn't work..try this one...

[> [> [> Subject: Re: Full Moon Chaos
Author: Tammy [ Edit \| View ]	Date Posted: 12:38:09 10/27/07 Sat 2nd article in the ottawa sun http://www.cbc.ca/canada/ottawa/story/2007/10/25/ot-911-hoax-071025.html