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Subject: Death of a hardman

Author: Paul (November 13th, 2007 selected by andy)

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] Date Posted: 15:29:39 12/02/07 Sun Death of a hardman Here is a story, bawdy and grim, About Arnold grimes and what happened to him, Whilst making love, at the falls of Niagara, Arnold was keen - so popped some Viagra, Passion ensued, so rampant and lusty, On the banks of the river, with a lover so busty, In his excitement, his completion desired, Poor Arnold went blue, collapsed and expired, The funeral director, surveying his prize, Saw Arnolds endowment, in awe at it’s size, So they prepared him, from head down to leg, The only concern was his still rigid peg, Perplexed by the member, they all gave a frown, Unable, as they were, to screw the lid down, So they called in a man, a carpentry boffin, Who drilled a large hole in the lid of the coffin, Yet still they had problems, rightly concluding, They could not leave this huge wizzle protruding, So a hollowed out vase, with flowers so fresh, Was placed o’er his column of excited flesh, All of the mourners who came into the room, Said their goodbyes and sniffed at the blooms, Quite unaware as they bowed in their grief, Of the monstrous wanger that lay underneath, Arnold died happy for certain my friend, Firm and impressive right up to the end, Yet if you go to a funeral, bear it in mind, Those vases of flowers, and just what lays behind! © Paul Osborne 2007 . [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]