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| Subject: Edge of the cliff | |
Author: Darkerside of light | [ Next Thread |
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] Date Posted: 02:58:48 01/23/08 Wed A bit of a rambling one this one due to emotion and mix of fiction and truth and probably not the greatest of pens Edge of the cliff Last night I walked up to the edge of the cliff Listening to the loose rocks falling into the sea Yes I was scared Scared stiff As I walked Shuffling through the long gold and green grass Nearing the edge of the cliff One last breath Then I looked over my shoulder To life and what was left Turned away looking at silver moon Looking for the answers To so many questions Why me? Why now? Too quick Too soon I reach out my arm Then my hand Point one finger straight at the moon Can I burst you just like a balloon? The sea is calling Calling me And that should have been it I felt gentle hand on my shoulder A warm sensuous arm wrapped around my waist In my ear a sweet voice One word she said Choice You have a choice Turn around walk away You are to live for now For this night and the following day but not for ever Now you have become just a little older from tonight wiser We both fell safely to the ground Strangely with not making a sound Who she is I can’t tell Some may say a good caring understanding friend I think In fact I’m sure God has sent me my own private angel To protect me from me As I straddle my private heaven and hell DSL [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] |
| [> Subject: Re: Edge of the cliff | |
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Author: tcn [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 03:24:53 01/23/08 Wed We all do have a choice don't we? I'm so glad you chose to live! Excellent poem! Well done. And, I've been there:) [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: darkerside of light [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 08:16:14 01/24/08 Thu Hi tcn So am I so am I Thanking you DSL [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: Sasha [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 17:35:32 01/23/08 Wed Quote: _________________________________________ God has sent me my own private angel To protect me from me As I straddle my private heaven and hell _________________________________________ ~ oh very well done, Mark!!! loving this one, my friend and I love the hope filled closing *hugs* Sash xx  . [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: darkerside of light [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 08:20:27 01/24/08 Thu Hi Sash this is a play on words and translation of circumstances that was totaly different to the story I hope that makes sense!!! but the emotions are very very real trust me Cheers DSL [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: Jess [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 18:57:38 01/23/08 Wed Well I like it quite well, but you could submit it to the Brand Spankin New 'Critique Cafe' (moderated by yours truly, plug plug plug :D ) and we can all add our two cents. Constructively and with love. 'Can I burst you just like a balloon?' That line is golden, my friend. Namaste! Jess [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: darkerside of light [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 08:24:12 01/24/08 Thu Hi Jess I'll drop this one in and this would be the very first time i have ever let any of my poem up for critique so treat me very gently. thanking you DSL [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: Janel [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 21:05:48 01/23/08 Wed I am really feeling this Dsl, and i understand it deeply.. i wrote something similiar a while back about a knife in the dark and choices, in the end she chose life as well. This truly touched me deeply my friend, thank you for sharing it. Janel [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: darkerside of light [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 08:30:26 01/24/08 Thu Hi Janel I once did go down a very dark road and thanks to my god your god and their god I thought of others and not of myself it could of been another story, but like I have said this about acompletley different situation I just twisted and took the emotions and the feeling that were very real and put them into a story.....but the angel is real. DSL [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: Paul [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 03:49:39 01/24/08 Thu I have all the critique you deserve.......Brilliant!!! As you know I am an athiest, yet that does not stop me feeling your faith, or believing in spirits who guide us. As one who has stood, many years ago, debating whether or not to jump, I can so feel this and I am sure many others will too.  Congratulations on this award Mark, much deserved. Peace and hope, Paul [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: darkerside of light [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 09:03:02 01/24/08 Thu My dear friend I was thinking about you today and then I find this what can I say but thank you and like i said to the others who have so kindly commented It's just a story but emotions and the feelings and the angel herself are very real. cheers DSL [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: Arunansu [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 04:00:30 01/24/08 Thu SUPERB! DSL, amazing stuff! Awesome. Full of emotions and clever write.My favourite lines: "You have a choice Turn around walk away You are to live for now For this night and the following day but not for ever Now you have become just a little older from tonight wiser.." WOW! Cheers. [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: darkerside of light [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 09:12:40 01/24/08 Thu Hi Arunansu If this poem gets much more praise I'm going to blind fold myself tie my self to a chair and never step out the door so I never get inspired again.......joking I'm very pleased to be able share the story with you and every one else the reality or the real story will be locked in my heart for ever. Cheers DSL [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: Jess [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 08:46:58 01/24/08 Thu Maybe offer up another one for the Cafe, this one has won accolades and I really can't think of anything to say beyond how much I like it. With even more love, Jess [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |
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Author: Max Hardy [ Edit | View ] |
Date Posted: 11:54:47 01/24/08 Thu Hello DSL Poigniant write indeed, and a deep insight into a moment on the edge, captured so vividly with youe words. Loved this my friend. Max [ Post a Reply to This Message ] |