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Subject: Edge of the cliff


Author:
Darkerside of light
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Date Posted: 02:58:48 01/23/08 Wed

A bit of a rambling one this one due to emotion and mix of fiction and truth and probably not the greatest of pens

Edge of the cliff

Last night I walked up to the edge of the cliff
Listening to the loose rocks falling into the sea
Yes I was scared
Scared stiff
As I walked
Shuffling through the long gold and green grass
Nearing the edge of the cliff

One last breath
Then I looked over my shoulder
To life and what was left
Turned away looking at silver moon
Looking for the answers
To so many questions
Why me?
Why now?
Too quick
Too soon
I reach out my arm
Then my hand
Point one finger straight at the moon
Can I burst you just like a balloon?

The sea is calling
Calling me
And that should have been it
I felt gentle hand on my shoulder
A warm sensuous arm wrapped around my waist
In my ear a sweet voice
One word she said
Choice
You have a choice
Turn around walk away
You are to live for now
For this night and the following day but not for ever
Now you have become just a little older from tonight wiser
We both fell safely to the ground
Strangely with not making a sound
Who she is I can’t tell
Some may say a good caring understanding friend
I think
In fact I’m sure
God has sent me my own private angel
To protect me from me
As I straddle my private heaven and hell

DSL

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Replies:
[> Subject: Re: Edge of the cliff


Author:
tcn
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Date Posted: 03:24:53 01/23/08 Wed

We all do have a choice don't we? I'm so glad you chose to live! Excellent poem! Well done. And, I've been there:)

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[> [> Subject: Re: Edge of the cliff


Author:
darkerside of light
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Date Posted: 08:16:14 01/24/08 Thu

Hi tcn

So am I so am I

Thanking you

DSL

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[> Subject: Re: Edge of the cliff


Author:
Sasha
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Date Posted: 17:35:32 01/23/08 Wed


Quote:
_________________________________________

God has sent me my own private angel
To protect me from me
As I straddle my private heaven and hell
_________________________________________


~ oh very well done, Mark!!!

loving this one, my friend
and I love the hope filled closing

*hugs*

Sash xx


Photobucket


.

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[> [> Subject: Re: Edge of the cliff


Author:
darkerside of light
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Date Posted: 08:20:27 01/24/08 Thu

Hi Sash

this is a play on words and translation of circumstances that was totaly different to the story I hope that makes sense!!! but the emotions are very very real trust me
Cheers
DSL

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[> Subject: Re: Edge of the cliff


Author:
Jess
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Date Posted: 18:57:38 01/23/08 Wed

Well I like it quite well, but you could submit it to the Brand Spankin New 'Critique Cafe' (moderated by yours truly, plug plug plug :D ) and we can all add our two cents. Constructively and with love.

'Can I burst you just like a balloon?'

That line is golden, my friend.

Namaste!
Jess

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[> [> Subject: Re: Edge of the cliff


Author:
darkerside of light
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Date Posted: 08:24:12 01/24/08 Thu

Hi Jess

I'll drop this one in and this would be the very first time i have ever let any of my poem up for critique so treat me very gently.

thanking you

DSL

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[> Subject: Re: Edge of the cliff


Author:
Janel
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Date Posted: 21:05:48 01/23/08 Wed

I am really feeling this Dsl, and i understand it deeply.. i wrote something similiar a while back about a knife in the dark and choices, in the end she chose life as well. This truly touched me deeply my friend, thank you for sharing it.

Janel

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[> [> Subject: Re: Edge of the cliff


Author:
darkerside of light
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Date Posted: 08:30:26 01/24/08 Thu

Hi Janel

I once did go down a very dark road and thanks to my god your god and their god I thought of others and not of myself it could of been another story, but like I have said this about acompletley different situation I just twisted and took the emotions and the feeling that were very real and put them into a story.....but the angel is real.

DSL

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[> Subject: Re: Edge of the cliff


Author:
Paul
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Date Posted: 03:49:39 01/24/08 Thu

Mark,

I have all the critique you deserve.......Brilliant!!!

As you know I am an athiest, yet that does not stop me feeling your faith, or believing in spirits who guide us.
As one who has stood, many years ago, debating whether or not to jump, I can so feel this and I am sure many others will too.





Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket



Congratulations on this award Mark, much deserved.

Peace and hope,

Paul


[
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[> [> Subject: Re: Edge of the cliff


Author:
darkerside of light
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Date Posted: 09:03:02 01/24/08 Thu

My dear friend
I was thinking about you today and then I find this what can I say but thank you and like i said to the others who have so kindly commented It's just a story but emotions and the feelings and the angel herself are very real.

cheers

DSL

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[> Subject: Re: Edge of the cliff


Author:
Arunansu
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Date Posted: 04:00:30 01/24/08 Thu

SUPERB! DSL, amazing stuff! Awesome. Full of emotions and clever write.My favourite lines:
"You have a choice
Turn around walk away
You are to live for now
For this night and the following day but not for ever
Now you have become just a little older from tonight wiser.."
WOW!
Cheers.

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[> [> Subject: Re: Edge of the cliff


Author:
darkerside of light
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Date Posted: 09:12:40 01/24/08 Thu

Hi Arunansu

If this poem gets much more praise I'm going to blind fold myself tie my self to a chair and never step out the door so I never get inspired again.......joking
I'm very pleased to be able share the story with you and every one else the reality or the real story will be locked in my heart for ever.

Cheers

DSL

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[> Subject: Re: Edge of the cliff


Author:
Jess
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Date Posted: 08:46:58 01/24/08 Thu

Maybe offer up another one for the Cafe, this one has won accolades and I really can't think of anything to say beyond how much I like it.

With even more love,
Jess

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[> Subject: Re: Edge of the cliff


Author:
Max Hardy
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Date Posted: 11:54:47 01/24/08 Thu

Hello DSL

Poigniant write indeed, and a deep insight into a moment on the edge, captured so vividly with youe words.

Loved this my friend.

Max

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