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|Subject: Re: True Story-The Next Phase|
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Date Posted: 05:41:53 08/13/18 Mon
In reply to: Ulysses 's message, "True Story-Introduction" on 19:42:14 08/12/18 Sun
I spent a great deal of time on these meet up sites chatting with women who were both bottoms and tops. As I've mentioned I have always been mainly a top. The thought of being punished, spanked, degraded or dominated by a woman was good fodder for fantasy, but the reality of it for me was incomprehensible. Not to say that I am the man's man, I'm very liberal and have a core sense of equality, but the reality of being actually punished by a woman (or anyone for that matter) was beyond the realm of reality. My fragile mind would not be able to handle losing control. I knew in the back of my mind that nothing would actually come of this.
I have spanked many girlfriends in the first half of my life, never as discipline, but some of them could take some incredible beatings. A few times they had also spanked me, so I'm not completely inexperienced as a bottom. I have spanked, paddled, beaten myself and not to brag, but I can take quite a beating. It's quite a different thing though being the one with the instrument in hand. You can control the length and severity of swats. You can tell yourself to stop when you've had enough. As a bottom you can use a safe word or simply tell your partner to stop. I yearned for the real thing. That point where you are not in control and you have exceeded your orgasmic limit.
I poured over the profiles and chatted with a few women on those sites to some satisfaction. I grew more curious with being dominated, being a naughty boy deserving strict punishment. It was becoming an obsession and I was almost at the point of jumping into the pool. Some of the chats were somewhat satisfying. I got a lot of "You worm", "Lick your mistress' ass" etc. Nice for getting a hard on, but mostly not what I was looking for. I was seeking an actual human being whom I could respect as a feeling human being and respect her maturity, caring and authority.
I don't exactly remember if I initiated or she did, but I started chatting with one member who talked about her feelings, her desires, her anxieties. This human touch excited me. She said I was the only male she had actually chatted with or responded to. She spent most of her time on this site chatting with other women. I sensed that she had not had good relationships with men in the past. She had repressed these desires and kept them a secret her entire life. Mixed in with personal conversation she described her interests, most of which had been embedded in my mind and suppressed most of my life as well. Could we possibly take this to the next step and towards reality? Would my fragile mind be able to let go and hand over control to someone else? I was feeling ready to jump in with both feet. I was actually falling for this woman, sight unseen.
I will need to stop here, but will continue at a later time.
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|Re: True Story-The Next Phase||Ulysses||16:49:34 08/13/18 Mon|
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