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Date Posted: 19:42:14 08/12/18 Sun
I have had an interest in spanking as far back as I can remember. I felt sexual feelings at a very early age. I don't know if everyone does, but I suspect so, in one form or another. From childhood my sexual or intimate feelings revolved around spanking, discipline, punishment, shame. Even in childhood I knew there was something to be ashamed of having such urges and being so obsessed with spanking and discipline. This included embarrassment, humiliation, degradation, even as a kid I didn't think these obsessions were the makings of healthy relationships.
My interest and fantasies and sexual urges were almost exclusively females being spanked. I don't think at that time I had a name for these films in my head which caused arousal, but I would later learn that these mental productions are called fantasies. I wanted to spank those girls behinds myself, but in thinking back I think that it was mostly them getting spanked by someone else. As I got into my adolescence and teens I took a more active role in those spanking fantasies.
I was never spanked in my childhood that I recall. It wasn't prominent in my family, so where this interest in spanking and punishment came from has always baffled me. My childhood was in the 60's and early 70's, so spanking of children and even teens was still pretty much acceptable. Times were changing, but it was still a male dominated society. Spanking of wives, secretaries, nurses, waitresses, etc. were not exactly encouraged, but I'm sure it happened.
Although my main interest in spanking involved punished females and I was largely what I would come to know as a top, I was always curious about being spanked and punished myself. It wasn't prominent in my fantasies, but having never really had a spanking or really any form of discipline I did wonder what it would be like. At times it was even some yearning desire to be truly punished, turned over a dominant woman's knees and take my medicine beyond my control.
This could actually never happen due to certain psychological traits and fears as I must have control at all times. Not to give the impression that I'm a control freak, I don't need to control everyone around me I just need to be in control of myself. Why I wont ride on a roller coaster or be in a car with someone who exceeds the speed limit. I have other anxieties, which I'll get to later.
Perhaps it was reaching the golden age of 50, I'm not sure what is was that surged my interest in being dominated. Being punished out of my control by a stern woman, although had always been a fantasy had become an obsession. At any rate, I began searching. It was a casual thing that I never really thought anything would come of it. I flirted on line, had many disappointments, got a little scared, or the distance was too far or it just wasn't practical. Basically I was just jerking off.
Well, that is my introduction. I will continue at a later time.
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|Re: True Story-The Next Phase||Ulysses||05:41:53 08/13/18 Mon|
|Re: True Story-Second Encounter||Ulysses||20:14:06 08/15/18 Wed|
|Re: True Story-An Interlude||Ulysses||06:24:17 12/03/18 Mon|
|Re: True Story-Introduction-Third Encounter||Ulysses||07:25:30 12/16/18 Sun|
|Re: True Story-Fourth Encounter||Ulysses||10:35:27 12/25/18 Tue|
|Re: True Story-Fifth Encounter||Ulysses||16:17:25 12/25/18 Tue|
|Re: True Story-Sixth Encounter||Ulysses||08:42:24 12/26/18 Wed|
|Re: True Story-Seventh Encounter||Ulysses||17:44:00 12/30/18 Sun|
|Re: True Story-Eighth Encounter||Ulysses||17:51:26 04/14/19 Sun|
|Re: True Story-Ninth Encounter||Ulysses||05:26:21 05/04/19 Sat|
|Re: True Story-The Interlude||Ulysses||04:55:56 01/24/20 Fri|
|Re: True Story-The Date Passes||Ulysses||15:06:29 05/10/20 Sun|
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