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Subject: Re: Seeing Eye-to-Eye on Discipline Issues with Spouse Author: Gary Steven [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] Date Posted: 12:46:34 10/13/12 Sat In reply to: Bob E. 's message, "Seeing Eye-to-Eye on Discipline Issues with Spouse" on 20:06:42 09/26/12 Wed My late wife and I were both spanked growing up (usually bare bottom) and we pretty much agreed when it came to discipline with our children. We both spanked bare usually over the knee by hand. There were a couple of times where she used a flyswatter or yardstick. I usually just used my hand but occasionally used a belt or paddle. We both agreed on basing the number of swats we gave on age (1 swat per year). Sometimes there might be extra swats if merited. Where we disagreed was my wife was quicker to spank rather than using other punishments. She always used spanking and I would take the approach of reserving spankings for certain behaviors or if other methods failed to produce results. Also, after the spanking, she believed in sending the kids to their rooms for additional punishment. No discussion, hugs, etc... I on the other hand, usually would talk it over both before and after and always hugged them and made sure I told them I loved them. My wife usually accused me of "babying" them when I did that. My usual reply was to say. "They've been punished already, they don't need to think I hate them or am mad at them on top of it." Other than those points of contention, she and I pretty much were on the same page when it came to discipline. [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

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[> Subject: Re: Seeing Eye-to-Eye on Discipline Issues with Spouse Author: Ann [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 18:18:47 10/17/12 Wed This seemed like the best place on the two threads to discuss. Since this summer my husband's perspective on his role in discipline and especially spanking has changed. This is mostly due to his involvement with a group from church, but first some background. As noted earlier in this thread, and on several places in the original spank with love area, while we both have agreed that spanking is appropriate, we have had different approaches. I have traditionally been the parent who spanks more, and I spank "old fashioned," meaning pants down with a brush so it stings. My husband has always been very slow to spank, and (before this summer) when he has spanked his approach was always to give a few sharp swats to the seats of pants to "get their attention." However than began to change this summer when he actually made a paddle and used it to give our son a good over the knee spanking (the first like this for my husband). We talked some, and I learned that a group of men at our church who meet for day long retreats every few months had discussed discipline and father's roles in the home. We attend a pretty traditional (=also "old fashioned") church. It was interesting to me that some of the older men (those with adult children) introduced the topic of how men should be the heads of their homes, and should take the lead on disciplining children when they are home. Whether you agree with this or not, I do agree that having loving husbands/dads who are "alpha men/dads" has in our current era become a lost art. Anyway, it took a while for my husband to warm up to the notion, but the paddling he gave earlier this summer was an important first step for him. Then, last week, all three of our kids had some misbehaviors that led them all to need spankings (the first spankings given in our home in several months). Since my husband was home when two of the incidents happened, he stepped up and gave what I think were PERFECT spankings to our son (almost nine), and oldest daughter (just turned seven). I say this because based on what i heard going on in our kid's bedrooms, they sounded just hard enough, and lasted long enough that I am sure they will leave lasting memories. I spanked our youngest daughter. All three spankings happened over a four day stretch. Why I am discussing this is because it took a long time, but my husband came around, and did what seemed to me to always be natural. Has anyone else had a similar experience, where your spouse was a late bloomer as spanking is concerned? [ Post a Reply to This Message ]