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Date Posted: 12:50:04 09/26/05 Mon
Author: Talla, Stanza, Chapter, Verse
Subject: >~<
In reply to: Tr'ln and True 's message, "=Uncomfortable=Silence=" on 17:45:01 09/23/05 Fri

Talla nearly laughs when True comments on how nice it must be to have siblings; oh, she loves her brothers, but they're brothers, and they drive her crazy half the time. D'rai has grown up a bit since he Impressed Sengaloth, but he's still dramatically overprotective, and nothing will ever make Z'ni grow up. They've gotten a bit distant from each other in the past few years, since a goldrider, a bluerider, and a greenrider live such very different lives and Talla is so much higher in Weyr rank than either of her brothers, but they're still family, and a bit of loving aminosity is par for the course. But the smile fades from Talla's lips as she feels the awkward silence surrounding her last, careless comment. She finds herself scraping at the wood of the table with a fingernail, uncertain of what to do next and wondering if Tr'ln will ever talk. She hopes she hasn't alienated him. So, a more sensitive subject than she'd suspected, and somehow Talla doubts that it's the simple ignorance born of fostering your son elsewhere.

For a moment, after Tr'ln is done speaking, Talla just sits in a silence as heavy and awkward as the one that had come before, mind racing. She bristles automatically at the thought of Tsuga, who she irrationally resents through no fault of the older woman, but that reaction subsides quickly in the wake of Tr'ln's revelation. Tr'ln doesn't say exactly what he'd done when he found out about Trag, but Talla is a bright girl - she can draw the lines without his help. Of course, her mental sketchpad might end up with slightly different paths traced on it than the ones that the real event had followed, but she can't be that far off. Unconsciously, she puts herself in the other woman's place, imagining the situation as it might have occurred to her. The disapproval and outright rejection from friends and kin because Good Holder Girls just did not get into such a situation, the burden of raising a child on her own without the father's support... even though she hopes that the people closest to her wouldn't turn their backs, she can't even be sure of that, and some Holds are even more conservative than hers had been. Talla's expression tightens, and there's a sort of cold anger on her face when she looks up at Tr'ln again, with a jarring hint of hopefullness underneath it. She likes Tr'ln, he'd seemed like such a nice person, and she doesn't want to believe that a man she likes to consider a friend would do such a thing. "Tell me you didn't leave her," she says, and it's not begging because Talla doesn't beg, but the question bears more of that sharp hope than of the anger. Maybe she's drawing the wrong picture here.

((I hope you weren't expecting Talla to react WELL to that one. *pets Tr'ln* But she was Holdbred, and can all too easily imagine herself in that situation; without knowing anything about how Tsuga might have felt, she just fills it in with the way SHE would feel in that situation. Which would be betrayed, angry, and desperate. I am trying to leave room for him to redeem himself in her eyes, and she WANTS to assume in his favor, but I'm not going to have her pat him on the hand and tell him it's all right. Because, um, in her eyes it's NOT all right.))

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