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Date Posted: 14:18:18 03/16/00 Thu
Author: Anonymous
Subject: Forgive and forget has a cultural basis that precedes Christianity
In reply to: 's message, "Isn't Melanesian forgiveness all-powerful?" on 17:14:56 03/15/00 Wed

Forgiving and forgetting. Why do we do it?

This kind of behaviour preceded Christianity, actually.

Think about the way our ancestors lived, as well as many of us today. We lived in small communities, small villages. People HAD to get along with each other within those communities, otherwise it would be the death of the community if there was extensive social disruption, which then allowed a neighbouring clan to defeat and destroy your community.

Under those circumstances, you simply could not carry a grudge. Besides, in a small, closed community, the frequent face to face interactions prevent people from withdrawing from each other for long. They have to communicate, even if they don't want to. Communication breaks down barriers, and breaks down grudges.

Thus, in our traditional society we forgave and forgot, because it was the only way to keep the community healthy. That aspect carries on in our culture - how we are taught as kids, and what we observe. It's true even after we've left the villages and moved to the city.

Naturally, we now have a problem in our mobile, urban, open environment, because there is not such heavy peer pressure on people as there was in the villages. Thus, people can literally get away with murder, with stealing money, etc. etc. Such unethical people have been able to escape the cultural trappings. They are the exception, however. Most of us continue to behave as if we were in the village. So we continue to forgive and forget, as you put it.

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