Author:
Louise Vancisic (Lou)
| [ Next Thread |
Previous Thread |
Next Message |
Previous Message
]
Date Posted: 16:31:28 11/13/25 Thu
I thought that I'd share this from a website of childhood memories.
While much of this parallels my story, I ended up feeling very differently about it.
Please share your thoughts.
Non-abusive "Loving Spankings" Messed Me Up For Life
By Carol
"When I was a little girl and my mother thought I required discipline, she would pull me face down across her lap and give me a series of stinging slaps of her hand on my bare buttocks while I cried. In fifteen seconds it was over. I would be in tears and clutching my bottom for a minute or so, but it didn't really hurt much after that, just a hot itch. My rear end would be a solid pink right afterwards. But in a few hours it would be back to normal. And that was that.
"I was not 'abused' as a child, just 'spanked with love.' She never left a bruise when she 'lovingly spanked' me. The permanent marks were inside, not outside.
"Mother firmly believed in spankings as discipline for her children because they 'worked' so well. All she needed to do if my behavior displeased her was say, 'Carol, do you want a spanking?' and that would frighten me into obeying her. And if she told me to do the dishes and I didn't do them very well and got spanked for it you can bet those dishes were unusually spotless for the next couple of days. But spankings also left me with lifelong emotional and sexual problems that I still don't know how to fix despite years of therapy. My mother got an obedient daughter and cleaner dishes and I got a lifelong mess inside me.
"If I were growing up today, Mother could post on parenting web forums about how 'effective' spankings are as discipline for her daughters. She could brush aside concerns about emotional harm saying 'an hour after I spank her, Carol is happily playing or doing her chores.' She could talk about my good grades in school. She could talk about how polite I am and respectful to my elders, and how she gets compliments from other adults about what a good girl I am in public. And if anyone tried to warn her that she might give her child a fetish, she could laugh and say, 'Carol would never turn out like that. She hates to be spanked!' And nothing she said would be a lie.
"I tried so hard to be good. But sooner or later I always found myself face down across my mother's lap getting yet another spanking. I just couldn't control it - except in my fantasies. In fantasy I could make everything happen just so, as if it really were under my control. My mother's preferred discipline method emotionally upset me so much that I sexualized it - everything about it: the kind of clothing she wore and I wore, the things she would say before and after my spanking, the position she put me in, on and on. Fantasy let me cope with my trauma and get a pretend feeling of control over something really out of my control. When I imagined myself as a naughty girl over her Mommy's lap getting her bare little bottom spanked I pictured myself crying and begging the Mommy to stop.
Yet it was my fantasy so really I had total control. And by eroticizing, I made something awful and frightening into something delightful and pleasant. ...
"Most spanked kids don't turn out as obsessed as me. But some of us do. And we aren't rare. Growing up I knew two other little girls who both got spanked by their parents and who both loved to play House the same way I did: with play spankings, play spankings, and more play spankings all afternoon without ever getting bored. (At least two of us were strict disciplinarians of our dolls, too!) One girl would even get me to pretend to be her real life mother so we could re-enact actual episodes for which she had been disciplined in her home. For me to meet two others so like myself in this way would be almost impossible if kids like me were rare. ...
[
Next Thread |
Previous Thread |
Next Message |
Previous Message
] |
Feedback: 