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Subject: Children as poison containers Author: Douglas [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ] Date Posted: 01:22:05 02/04/26 Wed I was reading a fascinating lecture from the 1990s called "the history of child abuse". You can do a search on it if you would like to read it. I realize not all spanking is in the context of child abuse. In my case I think it was, not because I was physically abused harder than spanking, but because my mother also emotionally and verbally abuses me. Which is why I could strongly relate to the main thesis of the speech...that abused children are "poison containers" that absorb all the bad emotions of the abusive parent. This is exactly my situation. They say never to spank out of anger but that sounds like some wholesome fairy tale world to me. My mother has always been angry when she spanks me and I sense most of that anger isn't from anything I did but anger and stress from the world. Same with the verbal abuse. She has all this negative emotion built up and it is released on me. In my case (and most cases of spankings I assume) this is never admitted, there is always some official reason for the spanking but in reality that's more of an excuse if anything for the parent or caregivers need to spank. An interesting thing that I read said that for this to be effective (unloading all your negative emotions on someone else) the person you do this to has to be innocent. That's why children are perfect for this. It would not be effective unloading these emotions on to another angry adult. They have no innocence. Perhaps surprisingly, I don't resent my mother for making me her poison container. I like that I have been here for ber to.use in that capacity and I admire her for not holding back like some parents do..,even if hurts both physically and emotionally at the time. [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

Replies:

[> Subject: Re: Children as poison containers Author: Brooke [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 08:54:07 02/04/26 Wed Hello. Wow, these are some thoughts. Do you still receive spankings?

[> [> Subject: Re: Children as poison containers Author: Douglas [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 16:16:57 02/06/26 Fri Yes I am a young adult college student who still lives at home and still gets spankings. At first I was surprised and resentful that I'm still getting spankings at my age (I first started having these thoughts in my mid teens). Now I have accepted that I am trapped. As long as I live under my mother's roof I will get spankings and I won't have any freedom. My plan is to move out after I start working full time after graduation. I am curious how I will do being on my own after a lifetime of being raised by a strict disciplinarian. I have learned that prisoners often can't handle the outside world and prison becomes their comfort zone as strange as that sounds to some people. I don't know if similar dynamics will play out for me.

[> [> [> Subject: Re: Children as poison containers Author: Louise Vancisic Vancisic [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 09:31:37 02/07/26 Sat I corresponded with a young woman who lived with her abusive mother. Like you, she was spanked and felt humiliated and trapped.

[> Subject: forms of abuse Author: Emily Travers [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 01:12:17 02/05/26 Thu There are 4 standard forms of abuse that all health professionals, including myself, use on the job: emotional, physical, sexual, and psychological. Spanking etc. is almost unique in that it embodies all 4 forms in one action. This is why no professional health orgamizat6ion supports it. Over 70 nations have now complete or almost complete bans so we are gradually maturing in our sense of how people should treat one another.

[> [> Subject: Re: forms of abuse Author: Douglas [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 16:26:16 02/06/26 Fri That is very interesting Emily. I have a couple of questions for you regarding this. 1.I have been raised to believe that spanking isn't always child abuse. That it's a proper tool to teach lessons etc. Perhaps I was brainwashed to believe this? Would you say that spanking (real spankings, not a quick swat over jeans) is by default child abuse? Even if the parent doesn't think of themselves as abusive? 2. Could the fact that it embodies all four (super interesting that it does) also explain the appeal, the passion many people have for spanking and how it got fetishized more than any other form of abuse?

[> [> Subject: the alchemy of abuse? Author: Emily Travers [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 22:49:43 02/07/26 Sat Good questions: I do think that it being the sum of the standard forms of abuse cited by health discourse - there may be other acts which also contain all 4 forms - has resulted in it becoming a stand-in for 'abuse' as a whole; that is to say, that there is still a sizable minority of people who do not think of it as abusive at all. It is almost as if, in being the sum of all the usual forms of abuse, it itself could be seen as transcending abuse itself, if you follow. As if, alchemically, you mix up all the ingredients and the thing then becomes something else entirely. And though I don't consider enculturation to be the same thing as brainwashing - the latter is a specific term used to denote a calculated replacement of certain ideas and not an original socialization thereof - it does remain for us to answer the question regarding what KIND of society we want to live in. For myself, physical coercion of minors is not an ethical option, though it might well teach something or other. There are many reasons why ALL professional healthcare bodies are against spanking, whether they are psychological in basis or more generally physiological. Once in a while we do find specific figures in the history of psychopathology using cp as therapeutic - Jung and Bettelheim, for instance - but the results have both been equivocal as well as, of course, the patients being adults.

[> Subject: Re: Children as poison containers Author: Bianca [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 01:51:46 02/07/26 Sat For a fictional account of abuse being rationalised in this way, you might want to read the story "A Daughter's Love" at the Flogmaster's spanking story site.

[> [> Subject: Justine versus Juliette Author: Emily Daughters [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 22:52:28 02/07/26 Sat Famously, the apparent archetypical tales of self-selected rationalization as opposed to that of resistance in the face of a perpetrator who is cajoling such rationalization may be found in De Sade's companion novels, 'Justine' - who doesn't like it - and 'Juliette' - who does.

[> [> [> Subject: Re: Justine versus Juliette Author: Emily Travers [ Edit | View ] Date Posted: 08:35:11 02/08/26 Sun Not sure why my name came up that way - maybe an unconscious urge to identify with one or the other of de Sade's heroines.