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>Hi BBB, > >What a nice thing to say! I'm really lucky to have the >mom that I do. I hear people say that parents need to >be parents, and that they shouldn't try to be their >kids' friend. I disagree with that, at least in part. >I don't think it has to be one or the other. I would >absolutely say that my mom is my best friend, but >she's also definitely the one in charge. I think you >need really clear boundaries about the kind of stuff >that is and isn't ok, and both of you have to be on >the same page. Maybe it's a bit easier for us. It's >only the two of us, and we're pretty like-minded about >most things. > >As for the number of spankings, I could be accused of >being biased 🤭, but I totally agree that fewer is >better, especially once you get to around my age. If >you have to spank your teenager all the time, then I >question if that's the right kind of discipline. It's >a bit ironic that you mentioned this because my >situation is kind of the reverse of the example you >gave. > >I've always been a pretty quiet and low-maintenance >kid. I've been a bookworm from the moment I learned >to read, and though I have friends, I'm more of an >introvert. I guess I'm trying to say that I've never >gone out of my way to get into trouble. Of course, I >wasn't perfect, and I got the occasional spanking when >I was little. That was up until the age of 9. My mom >never made some grand announcement that my spanking >days were over, lmao. I just didn't really earn one >after that. I got my share of warnings, and sometimes >the loss of privileges, like screen time, but I just >didn't do anything that would have earned me a trip >over her knee (or if I did, then I must not have >gotten caught.) This went on until my first year of >high school, when I had a little identity crisis. > > I felt like I was older, and should be more >independent, and we started bumping heads. This >resulted in me being grounded several times, which was >miserable for everyone concerned. I was resentful, >but also deep down, feeling guilty for being a brat. >My mom wasn't thrilled with my behavior, and she was >also worried, because this kind of acting out was very >out of the ordinary for me. One day, I had mouthed >off about something, and she (obviously frustrated) >said, "If you were a little younger, I'd put you over >my knee!" > >I was a little shocked, but I kept thinking about it >for the next few days. I certainly didn't WANT to be >spanked, but a tiny little voice inside said that >maybe I deserved it, for the way I had been acting. >And I remembered how getting a spanking when I was >little meant that I had a clean slate. Once it was >over, then I was forgiven and all I had to do was try >not to make the same mistake again. > >I felt a little crazy for even entertaining the idea >of asking to be spanked instead of grounded. I wanted >to feel more grown up, not get punished like a little >kid! And I was way too embarrassed to talk about this >with anyone. That's how I wound up here. I knew that >an internet forum wasn't the best place to go for >advice, but I figured it was worth a chance to see if >there were any people here who weren't only interested >in kinky stuff. A few people were nice/ encouraging, >and I just ignored anyone being creepy. > >Eventually, I worked up the courage to talk to my mom. > I said I was sorry for the way I'd been acting, but I >felt like she was still treating me like a kid, even >though I was in high school, and I was having a hard >time with my attitude about that. Plus, I hated being >grounded, because it basically just made me mad at >her, and mad at myself, and when I felt that way all >the time, it made everything worse. We had a really >good and emotional talk. Finally, I asked her about >her offhand comment, and if she really thought that I >deserved a spanking for my attitude, maybe instead of >grounding? She was definitely surprised. I quickly >assured her that it was NOT something that I actually >wanted, but I DID want the feeling of being forgiven >and having a clean slate. I hated that there was >always some feeling of tension between us. I said >that if she had a non-spanking solution that would >accomplish the same goal, then I was 100% on board, >lol! She told me to go occupy myself for a while, >because she needed to do some serious thinking, and we >would talk more around dinner time. I spent a couple >hours distractedly scrolling on my phone. I'm not >sure what exactly she did, maybe googling what to do >when your teenager suggests re-introducing spanking >into your discipline strategy. Anyway, I'm sure you >can guess what she decided. She made it clear, that >just because this was my suggestion, I got no say in >how or when I got spanked. She made the rules. If I >felt upset by something, then she definitely wanted me >to tell her, but I did not get to dictate my own >discipline. I expected that, and didn't even try to >argue. She outlined the rules she had come up with, >and asked if I thought they were fair. I agreed that >they were. Then she said that we might as well get my >first spanking out of the way. I have no idea why I >was surprised by that. REALLY should have seen that >coming, lol. In retrospect, I think that first >spanking was cathartic for both of us. The first few >months were a bit of a learning curve, but we both >settled into our new expectations, and we had several >more really good talks. > > Two years later, and I don't have any regrets, >despite the occasional sore backside. It was worth it >to save my good relationship with my mom. Getting >spanked didn't do that by itself. I think it was more >about being really open and having good communication. > But, I can't dismiss the positive aspect of being >able to get that fresh start and let go of my guilt >when I do screw up. > >I know all of this makes me a kinda weird kid. Other >people on here have said that I get off on getting >spanked by my mom. That is SO not true. There is >absolutely nothing sexy about going over her knee. >But as I've gotten older, I can admit that I wouldn't >have kept coming back here, if I didn't have some kind >of interest in the topic. Maybe, many years from >now, it's something I'll explore with a girlfriend. >But for now, I like being able to talk about it with >someone when I get spanked, since I'm still too >embarrassed to tell any of my friends. Whether it's >commiserations, or someone telling me that I totally >deserved the spanking, it's good to just express my >feelings in an anonymous way. > >Well, this got WAY longer than I intended. I guess I >felt the need to go back to the beginning, and >explain my situation. > >Thanks again for your lovely comments, > >Debbie

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