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>Thank you for taking the time to share this, Debbie. >The relationship you have with your mom, and the >parental discipline aspect of it is, to my knowledge, >unusual, but is very important to you. I admire your >passion for it, and how conscientious you are. You >really do care about being a good person, so it makes >sense that you also need a form of tangible >accountability that, in a powerful way, fixes things >that feel broken. > >It sounds like your mom has had to deal with the >typical kinds of disciplinary issues. But there was no >good way of resolving them. I wonder if, when she told >you that day that she would be spanking you if you >were just a little younger, she was already in favor >of it. I can see where she would not want to risk >using that method with someone your age, even when she >felt it might be right for you under the >circumstances. Maybe she had no idea what your >feelings would be, but it turned out to open the door >to you telling her, and then her feeling safe about >it. Parental spanking at your age may not be the norm, >but this is how it should work. You do not have >control over when and how your mom punishes you, but >the discipline in your home is totally supported by >you. > >When people talk about spanking, they often >characterize it as a way of teaching a lesson. You >appear to know right from wrong better than most >people. It is more about being held accountable, and >resolving an issue that you already understand. >Ironically, it may be embarrassing for you to talk >about when you are proud of how you accept >responsibility for your behavior. Your friends, >though, may not understand.

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